As Epicmafia currently resides in a waning phase, I thought there might be some value (however small) in finally compiling and historicizing its history. I began this project a few weeks ago by posting silly writeups on certain people's profiles, and at the request of a few I am ready to begin taking requests and going public with the project.
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A delicacy produced by Yellow Pear and Spooky Noodle's catering firm, long eggs are derived from a bioengineered species of birb raised in the urban environment of Sandbox's downtown heights. Long eggs are distributed by Mongrel-Made Memes and commonly consumed by the middle class in Sandbox. They are to be swallowed whole in a hard-boiled configuration, in order to experience the full range of flavor and sensation. Long eggs were very controversial when they arrived on the scene: some people felt that their viral popularity disqualified them as a real source of nutrition, and others questioned if it were a food source at all. So far, no study has proven either way.
Furansu is a legendary elder of Sandbox, present since time immemorial. Wed to the great lion Hood, Furansu was one of the cofounders of the public meme trade and profited greatly off of Hood Did It. Her partnerships have included the likes of Ace and Yoyoyorlozer, other famous meme artists. Despite her high profile, Furansu has usually stayed out of Sandbox politics, a commendable feat. It was originally thought that Furansu had fled the country with Hood, but in recent days she has been spotted amongst the underbelly of the city. An interesting return considering the decline of the lobby in general...
Platy’s Boner followed in the wake of the Sack on Kenny, another chaotic period this time directly involving the powers of Lucid (according to some sources.) Platy himself was installed by Lucid as a neutral party to keep the peace. Platy’s boner in question was in his attempt to establish a strong moderator to help out. He chose Sishen, a move that is now universally regarded as a bad idea.
Sishen’s draconian enforcements of rules and banishing of people he had grudges against led to several protests against the moderators. To be clear, there was no active resistance against Platy: only Sishen. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Sishen had, without warning, stripped Golbolco and Doctor Mac Peepee of certain rights and sent them away. A protest led by Sigh broke out shortly afterwards and Platypops rectified the problem, but did not fire Sishen. Gardenfulloflies, a celebrity, took up arms against Platypops and sought out Lucid, requesting leadership in Sandbox. In one fell, almost detached swoop, Platy was powerless after a month once again.
To differentiate between the first and second reigns of Platypops, we shall call them Platy's Error and Platy's Boner, two synonymous terms that nevertheless refer to different conflicts entirely.
Much of the data surrounding Platy's Error is corrupted. We can reconstruct that it followed in the wake of a great period of chaos, where Christopherzilla's regime came into direct conflict with Hima and Kino, moderators that at the time were trying to wrestle autonomy from Sandbox. The real impetus for the quagmire, however, was none other than [missing data], who had been a thorn in Chris's side for quite some time. More information on this debacle can be found in article 390 "Eclipse of Chris."
After days of chaos and turmoil in the streets of Sandbox, Platy and a team of crack supercommandos burst into the castle and seized control of the nation with Chris's final blessing. Sandbox found itself at uneasy peace, but political pressure was boiling over and ready to ignite another collapse. Platy's first reign was relatively short but some very decisive policies were established during this time, including the Right to Chat and the Right to Play. Platy saw fit to establish a baseline for rights in Sandbox (Chris's rule of law was very "wild west") so as to deter his successors from abuse. Evidently from Kenny and following Owners, Platy's attempt was futile.
Within a month or so's time, Platy relinquished control to Kenny, and Sandbox was changed forever.
Hood is a legendary hero from Sandbox’s mythological era. An uplifted lion, Hood was a part of the League of Superusers alongside Christopherzilla, LuapNor, Yogi, and Platypops (among others.) He was granted a parcel of land by Chris and Lucid to develop into Games, a real estate project that eventually fell through. What’s known of his past is sparse, but LuapNor has made allegations of both a Canadian and African background. Whatever it is, Hood was clearly running from a crime some kind, leading to the once-popular phrase “Hood did it.” This kind of profiling caused him headaches throughout his Sandbox career, especially around the time of SuperChimpy’s death and Chris’s cessation of Sandbox. Word of conspiracy in league with Kino and Hima was common, but eventually dispelled by Chris.
Where Hood is now is unknown. He was last seen with Furansu running for the western desert. He simply handed Psy 420 the keys to the Wastes, gave Dooze a brief word of encouragement, and left. We can only hope that wherever he is, Hood is still doing it.
Starting in late May of 2018, individuals who had immigrated from Europe to Epicmafia found themselves locked in a catatonic limbo. Some people appeared to fade out of existence entirely and only exist in a ghostly state. Rumor has it that Lucid himself had chosen to render Europeans that way out of respect for some esoteric legal code. Whether or not this motive makes sense is up to the reader. Although the ban itself was lifted in a month, the damage was irreparable as most people did not return from the event. Arguably, Sandbox’s decline is directly linked to the ban. There is a monument to the event at LuapNor square, where the missing are now presumed dead and honored accordingly.
