As Epicmafia currently resides in a waning phase, I thought there might be some value (however small) in finally compiling and historicizing its history. I began this project a few weeks ago by posting silly writeups on certain people's profiles, and at the request of a few I am ready to begin taking requests and going public with the project.
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The nations beyond the big five (Training and Competitive, in modern history the state of Main; Sandbox; Games [occasionally a colony of Sandbox]; Survivor) lay past the Dangan marshes in realms unknown. Much of the Epicmafia continent remains unexplored and perhaps undefined, but there are indeed a series of smaller, private kingdoms. First and most important is Dangan, a swampy land to the east of Sandbox that also encompasses any nation that engages in roleplay-mafia. These communities are relatively new and have significant crossover with Sandbox. There is also Vidya, a cold mountain valley whose streams drain into the Dangan swamps. This nation is mostly decadent now, but once was a flourishing haven safe from moderation by the Competitive and Sandbox powers. Then there are lands such as Reverse or NSFW, which are distinct in that their form of Mafia is often a specialty mafia that has at one point or another been outlawed from Main. In 2018, the NSFW lobby declared itself to be an independent state from the Epicmafia Confederation, rebranding as the Republic of Arcmafia.
Other than the private islands, independently-governed estates, and warlord territories in the world beyond Dangan, there is the Outcasted lobby. A fearful wasteland set up around an active volcano between Main and Sandbox, this nation serves as a colony for Epicmafia to send the banished off to. Spending time longer than six months here can lead to warping on the genetic and metaphysical level, which is what tends to create the pantheon of Banned Users we are familiar with in the modern day. Lucid save all ye who enter here.
Despite what one may think, coming to a place where the goal is to lie to other people and expecting to form meaningful and even loving relationships with others is actually a very good idea. It has long been joked that Epicmafia functions as a mixer for people to meet men, women, or whatever else they're into. In truth, many relationships have formed from Epicmafia and have come out for the better. Demographically, a little under half of all Sandboxers are native-born, meaning Epicmafia is no stranger to having babies. It has been theorized by Alyssa that the reason Epicmafia functions so well in finding people mates is that if everybody lies, it's easier to find the person who won't lie to you and can form a trusting relationship with. The author of this article is scared of citing specific examples, however, because Epicmafia relationships can be as volatile as they are passionate. Keeping track of who is whose spouse is not a fun game.
The nightmare phantom is a spectre that has haunted Sandbox since around 2012. Nobody knows who or what he was in life, but in death he has become a regular in the mafia rinks, sticking with the game for almost seven years now. Despite his name, the nightmare phantom rarely brings nightmares in his wake, but can often be seen creeping through the streets of Sandbox in search of another mafia game to play.
In late 2018, Meowmeulin revived the age-old sport of anonymous opinions. The rules of the game are simple: the host gives a person a series of names, and the player gives their opinions without actually naming the person. It is a delight to anyone who enjoys all the fun of drama without any of the bloodshed!
Joseph Mongrel is the CEO of one of the biggest meme firms on the Wall. Specializing in surrealist humor, Mr. Mongrel got his start working for Lauren Hefestion in the long egg factories. He later left YellowPear, Inc. and founded Mongrels Ltd., building factories to boost the Sandbox economy and produce quality memetics. Recently, Mongrel claimed to the Sandbox Associated Press that he is turning away from Sandbox meme production and intends to put money into a private space program with the goal of reaching the Moon by 2025. You can buy Mongrel-brand moonboots now for only $999.99 (plus shipping and--
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Señor Jose is one of Sandbox's most wanted criminals since 2016. Having inherited much of Snowy B's piracy arsenal from an unknown source, Jose has for years inflicted dozens of terrorist attacks across the country with the goal of extorting the Sandbox government. Nobody knows who Jose really is or from where he operates, but Sandbox law enforcement warns to not approach if sighted and to inform local moderators immediately. Jose's last attack was in December of 2018 wherein a YellowPear film studio was pelted with asteroids. In the aftermath, moderator Dooze noted that "the substance of the meteorites is positively identical to that of moon rocks" and that "Jose may have had access to the payload of a Mongrels space probe in November--samples of rocks were reported missing from their warehouse."
In October of 2018, Shwartz succeeded Dooze as owner of Sandbox during Lucid's latest awakening with intent to revive the Sandbox economy and end the Mainbox era. Shwartz was majorly successful, and finally proved Sandbox sociologists on their theory of the Drama-Vitality correlation.
Following the revival, however, Shwartz ownership would have some difficulties. To start, the Birbarian invasion nearly razed many Sandbox cities. Were it not for Shwartz's gambit in contacting the leader of the Birbs (actually the former Sandboxer Ashe, back with a vengeance against the Sandbox people,) Sandbox may have fallen into another dark age. Secondly, the emergence of Athena Ladynuts would be a major struggle for law enforcement in Sandbox: some users compared her presence to the conflict between Chris, SuperChimpy, and [DATA NOT FOUND] in 2013-2014. A new way of enforcing inter-mafia law was established under Shwartz primarily to deal with the user Groshu, and then was used by D*ke to banish Ladynuts.
Most recently has been a conflict involving Lauren Hefestion, "the Yellow Pear," and the sitemods which led to the Yellow Pear's banishment. Shwartz actually had little to do with this event, contrary to popular belief: he merely silenced Hefestion's cries for help after she was meant to be deported to the Outcasted Lobby. Hefestion did, however, serve as a moderator in Sandbox under Shwartz, and the upper crust of the land has completely changed following her banishment.
Shwartz is entering his sixth month of Sandbox ownership with a moderate-to-high approval rating according to DDR polls.
DatGuiser may be an aspect of Verumbark or perhaps a mortal inspired by the greater spirit, but either way it is another faceless being of the night that embodies the Disguiser role. Known for having a dozen alternate identities, DatGuiser caused considerable trouble in Main lobby in recent years by learning to act as a Disguiser outside of the official mafia rink system (possibly a result of [DATA NOT FOUND] and Foxie's experimentation with the code during the Christmas Eve War.) DatGuiser ended up rigging several games during a round competition was was subsequently banished from Main. Now DatGuiser usually goes by SteelixMega and has taken up residence in Inner Sandbox, where he passes time by debating politics on the Forum.
Luis, the Fourth Rod, is one of the oldest Sandbox users to still actively participate in this realm. Serving as Ballsy's coach during the early days of Sandbox, Luis would eventually come to open an entire institution dedicated to the development of Sandboxers, known as the Luis4rod School of Gifted Avatars.
Luis worked his way up by starting as a smooth jazz singer in the clubs and rinks around Sandbox, and eventually got picked up for four albums over the course of his nine years on EpicMafia. He even opened up a singing competition, Epicmafia Idol, to promote the delicate noises of a night spent playing mafia. He along with Fred and Nillager make up the most influential musicians in Sandbox history. Epicmafia Idol and its successor TIme to Shine, but Luis's prodigy John Miller now hosts the Sounds of Sandbox, the newest successor to the original competition.
In his free time, Luis lives near the beaches of Sandbox in an old manor that Ballsy had built for him. He lives alone.
Reamix is a Sandbox demigod that has been present in this realm since the dawn of Sandbox itself, alongside former greats such as Christopherzilla, Platypops, Ballsy, and Hood. She served under Kenny and then later under Bebop during the Owner Wars as a moderator, but is better known as a philanthropist who used her funds gained from a lengthy mafia career to give back to the Sandbox people. It was Reamix who first renovated Christopherzilla's sandy cave into the Sand Castle that stands as a central citadel in Sandbox today. It was Reamix who first served as an ambassador to the rest of Epicmafia at large before Hima and Kino were appointed as sitemods. It was Reamix who promoted mafia rink construction in the inner city under Kenny, despite regime policies being largely considered mafia-unfriendly. Overall, Reamix is probably one of the unsung heroes of Sandbox when all things are considered.
