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Why this site is a literal joke.

over 9 years

Lucid could've made this site a cash cow, but "m-muh medical degree" and "muh time!" clearly kept him from doing this. There's literally no reason other than pity to actually buy coins for this site. Profile customisation/custom role icons/avatars are literally free lmfao. Even crappy forum websites like gaiaonline, reddit, and 4chan have a way to make money. I mean seriously, if reddit can sell leddit gold, how is it that epicmafia can't make an income? For those of you who are not familiar with the "benefits" (XDXDXDXDXXD) of reddit gold, visit: https://www.reddit.com/gold/about Even an idiot would've invested money in the graphics for this website; hired someone from deviantart or something for a thousand dollars or so to make cards (i.e., http://i.gyazo.com/dd69586d5db2ce763e64c3015f264c0e.png) for each of the roles and sold them for EM coins; and updated the flash layout for the actual game. Actually I'm pretty sure Lucid was making good money before the adsense BS but he's too cautious to actually invest in this website (i.e., advertisement, mobile app) before finishing his residency.

There is no learning curve from Sandbox > Training > Competitive, and there never was. Everything being unlocked with the point system is hilarious. People don't step out of their comfort zones and you get people with 15k points all of which are earned from red heart training games who never play a single gold heart game, and you get people with 1500 points playing comp games who have no idea what they're doing. You can literally make a tiered lobby where say, the top 50 players during a round get access from Training to Bronze; the Top 50 players from a Bronze round gain access to Silver, etc. At least this way you'll get people who arent completely clueless to actually care about the competitive scene. But nope instead you get the site split with people crying about how merged lobbies is a dumb idea and other people ****posting about how tiered lobbies didn't get enough players.

Then we have trophy winners, who are pretty much either Cheaters or people who are a part of the trending circlejerk at the time of the ongoing round. You can probably count the number of people who actually deserve their trophies for all of the rounds combined with both your hands. If you aren't cheating, you probably won't win gold unless you have:

  1. Friends who are willing to throw for you
  2. Friends who are willing to GRS for you
  3. Friends who are mods who will look the other way/unfairly close reports against you/unfairly refund hearts for you

For example, look at TheOnlyJazzNation1, a tier 4 mediocre player at best. But because he has friends like Petermh who are willing to throw games for him, and friends in the mod circle who are willing to literally ignore reports against him because of "foul language" or some other excuse, he actually gets a good shot at a pixelated trophy to make up for the lack of actual achievements he has IRL.

The biggest joke has to be that this website is actually threatened by a fedoracore basement dweller, aka ABC, who's probably a 20 year old fat loser who can't get over the gripe of being banned on a flash game website. Oh yeah, we also have petricigy (or was it riotkiller) who actually made it so that you can't swear on this website without it losing its adsense revenue (LOL). Let's not forget that the competitive scene has been in the toilet for nearly 2 years now thanks to the punjab autist named pranay.

I'm going to give this website another 5 months before it burns itself out. I'm actually surprised that EM has made it this far. I joined in 2010 and this site has had 0 improvements besides some new roles, where maybe 2 of them have actually been used in competitive games that aren't meme tier setups which are only run once; and 2 new icon styles lmfao. Maybe EM will get remade by someone who can actually run a website after it dies.

over 9 years
"You can literally make a tiered lobby where say, the top 50 players during a round get access from Training to Bronze; the Top 50 players from a Bronze round gain access to Silver, etc."
_____________________________________________________________ no that won't solve the problem. because they don't need to move to the new lobby and as you said they still tend to stay in their comfort zone. so when you get access to the next lobby you should also be banned from the last one. also the system should work based on the number of points you have. for example after 10'000 points you should automatically get access to silver.
deletedover 9 years
sorry i have reading comprehension problems and i'm not sure exactly what all that stuff in the OP is supposed to mean so can anyone check my interpretation? thanks

basically all i got was "im dumb and butthurt"
over 9 years
I was with you until you talked Pranay. Don't even go there.
deletedover 9 years
I've also been here since 2010 and agree wholeheartedly to its main idea. This is probably the best thread I've seen in a long time since its premise is so on-point. But ultimately, the "woulda-coulda-shoulda" scenario isn't going to change reality. Lucid did play it safe but I'm sure he's happy being a doctor by now or whatever he decided to pursue. He is apathetic to EpicMafia and more interested in meeting the players rather than fixing the site, understanding the gaming mechanics, or "cashing in" on it.
over 9 years
Petricigy or Riotkiller????????????

lmho
over 9 years
Jazz, I think PwC would like to hear about your "lack of achievements" before they welcome you to the center of the universe
over 9 years
Cheaters caught: 0
over 9 years
yeah i agree that the mods really need to crack down on cheaters. i'd say that there's AT LEAST two of them in every single one of the games i played with thejazznation
deletedover 9 years
i'm looking for a fight.
deletedover 9 years

itg321 says

ftr Sandbox is more likable and more relatable than the tumblr weirdos, the raging virgins, and the intellectual standoffishness of comp


the most unlikeable player on this site comments on how unlikeable main lobby is, and the second most unlikeable player on this site plusses that post. funny stuff going on.
over 9 years

Satan says


Kawaii says

@satan it's just the aura you give off to me
riddler is tolerable at least, unlike others


not sure if by proxy that means i am tolerable or not, but yeah i gotcha. I'm not the most likable person around, and thats cool.


u are tolerable and ok imo
over 9 years

Renaldo says

yeah my mistake was becoming a mod in the first place, it pretty much killed my desire to run for trophies.


running for a trophy killed my desire to run for trophies
over 9 years
man this sucks I've been on the site long enough to be made fun of for only having one trophy.
over 9 years
yeah my mistake was becoming a mod in the first place, it pretty much killed my desire to run for trophies.
deletedover 9 years
Hmmm yeah you might have been an admin, but can you post in the proper trophy club?
deletedover 9 years
Brontosaurus has one bronze, he probably sucks
over 9 years
itg doesn't realise that there are more tumblr users in sandbox than competitive
over 9 years

itg321 says

ftr Sandbox is more likable and more relatable than the tumblr weirdos, the raging virgins, and the intellectual standoffishness of comp


please itg, what does a doge avatar user like you know about the high level psychological interactions of competitive play? I've been playing on epicmafia since before you could read, kid.
deletedover 9 years

itg321 says

ftr Sandbox is more likable and more relatable than the tumblr weirdos, the raging virgins, and the intellectual standoffishness of comp


Sandbox isn't even a game. There is absolutely no point to it.
over 9 years
ftr Sandbox is more likable and more relatable than the tumblr weirdos, the raging virgins, and the intellectual standoffishness of comp
over 9 years

Apostasy says

Satan why can't you use all of that effort you put towards that bad joke and put it towards getting Sirius unbanned


I am, i am.
over 9 years

Harrold says

Yeah it's quite a weird place in terms of reacting to authority and such. Good place though. I'm pretty sure Uprizzle would be a strong appointment for that part of the website. Difference is, I'd find a moderator to be committed to Sandbox alone as they're not really competent enough to make decisions in competitive games outside of ISP/GRS.


Considering most sandboxers experience with mods is when they close their joke reports or impose rules, I can't blame them. If you show up and say hello they're a welcoming bunch.

That's Christopherzilla's job. A site mod dedicated solely to sandbox is a waste when Chris is really responsible for that part of the site.
deletedover 9 years
Satan why can't you use all of that effort you put towards that bad joke and put it towards getting Sirius unbanned
over 9 years
yeah well sonseray, theres a new man in town, he's my friend and he wants to know if juneau's single, do you know?
deletedover 9 years
You guys care too much about my lovely e-trophy wife juneau trolling you and not enough about Sirius being banned