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Why this site is a literal joke.

over 9 years

Lucid could've made this site a cash cow, but "m-muh medical degree" and "muh time!" clearly kept him from doing this. There's literally no reason other than pity to actually buy coins for this site. Profile customisation/custom role icons/avatars are literally free lmfao. Even crappy forum websites like gaiaonline, reddit, and 4chan have a way to make money. I mean seriously, if reddit can sell leddit gold, how is it that epicmafia can't make an income? For those of you who are not familiar with the "benefits" (XDXDXDXDXXD) of reddit gold, visit: https://www.reddit.com/gold/about Even an idiot would've invested money in the graphics for this website; hired someone from deviantart or something for a thousand dollars or so to make cards (i.e., http://i.gyazo.com/dd69586d5db2ce763e64c3015f264c0e.png) for each of the roles and sold them for EM coins; and updated the flash layout for the actual game. Actually I'm pretty sure Lucid was making good money before the adsense BS but he's too cautious to actually invest in this website (i.e., advertisement, mobile app) before finishing his residency.

There is no learning curve from Sandbox > Training > Competitive, and there never was. Everything being unlocked with the point system is hilarious. People don't step out of their comfort zones and you get people with 15k points all of which are earned from red heart training games who never play a single gold heart game, and you get people with 1500 points playing comp games who have no idea what they're doing. You can literally make a tiered lobby where say, the top 50 players during a round get access from Training to Bronze; the Top 50 players from a Bronze round gain access to Silver, etc. At least this way you'll get people who arent completely clueless to actually care about the competitive scene. But nope instead you get the site split with people crying about how merged lobbies is a dumb idea and other people ****posting about how tiered lobbies didn't get enough players.

Then we have trophy winners, who are pretty much either Cheaters or people who are a part of the trending circlejerk at the time of the ongoing round. You can probably count the number of people who actually deserve their trophies for all of the rounds combined with both your hands. If you aren't cheating, you probably won't win gold unless you have:

  1. Friends who are willing to throw for you
  2. Friends who are willing to GRS for you
  3. Friends who are mods who will look the other way/unfairly close reports against you/unfairly refund hearts for you

For example, look at TheOnlyJazzNation1, a tier 4 mediocre player at best. But because he has friends like Petermh who are willing to throw games for him, and friends in the mod circle who are willing to literally ignore reports against him because of "foul language" or some other excuse, he actually gets a good shot at a pixelated trophy to make up for the lack of actual achievements he has IRL.

The biggest joke has to be that this website is actually threatened by a fedoracore basement dweller, aka ABC, who's probably a 20 year old fat loser who can't get over the gripe of being banned on a flash game website. Oh yeah, we also have petricigy (or was it riotkiller) who actually made it so that you can't swear on this website without it losing its adsense revenue (LOL). Let's not forget that the competitive scene has been in the toilet for nearly 2 years now thanks to the punjab autist named pranay.

I'm going to give this website another 5 months before it burns itself out. I'm actually surprised that EM has made it this far. I joined in 2010 and this site has had 0 improvements besides some new roles, where maybe 2 of them have actually been used in competitive games that aren't meme tier setups which are only run once; and 2 new icon styles lmfao. Maybe EM will get remade by someone who can actually run a website after it dies.

over 9 years
don worry chiaki nanami is here to save the day
deletedover 9 years

BearGuru says


Harrold says


Hibiki says


Harrold says

Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?


That's Hand Soap. they're in a bathroom


Separated egg whites.


that mixture you get with corn starch and water




Come.
over 9 years
im gonna spam the epicmafia forum with LEWD IMAGES

*posts wikipedia image: human semen in hand*
deletedover 9 years

Harrold says


Hibiki says


Harrold says

Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?


That's Hand Soap. they're in a bathroom


Separated egg whites.


that mixture you get with corn starch and water
deletedover 9 years

Hibiki says


Harrold says

Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?


That's Hand Soap. they're in a bathroom


Separated egg whites.
over 9 years
satan would be like riddler
over 9 years

Harrold says

Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?


That's Hand Soap. they're in a bathroom
deletedover 9 years

Kawaii says


Satan says


BearGuru says

If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2


mod bear guru and satan. u won't regret it


i get the impression you'd be like riddler if u were a mod


me or satan
deletedover 9 years
Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?
over 9 years

Satan says


BearGuru says

If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2


mod bear guru and satan. u won't regret it


i get the impression you'd be like riddler if u were a mod
over 9 years
a was a moderator of a runescape clan forum at like 12 and i decided to delete some spam bots who spam p0rn in the applicants section and my dad caught me and told me that i cant moderate that forum if i have to do stuff like that. anyway that's what i think of whenever someone says "mod bearguru"
deletedover 9 years

Satan says


BearGuru says

If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2


mod bear guru and satan. u won't regret it


like seriously. I think I would be fantastic, as would satan.
deletedover 9 years
They already have Jackhammer on the mod team for their token youngster.
over 9 years

BearGuru says

If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2


mod bear guru and satan. u won't regret it
over 9 years

Kawaii says


BearGuru says

If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2


pls mod this guy


also he's a complete viable choice to mod so ???? why havent u guys modded him :|||||||
over 9 years

Harrold says

Also, can mods delete every post on here unrelated to the OP? This thread was actually awesome.


i agree
over 9 years
hi :p
deletedover 9 years
Also, can mods delete every post on here unrelated to the OP? This thread was actually awesome.
over 9 years

BearGuru says

If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2


pls mod this guy
over 9 years
hes still posting in the lobby chat
over 9 years
i'm throwing my name into the ring guys. mod me and i will rid the world of abcdefg1
deletedover 9 years
If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2
over 9 years
ughhhh
deletedover 9 years
Seriously though, that was some absolutely hopeless moderating just now.
over 9 years
nuke the forums. code red code red