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benis

you are sweating because you are a 　　　　fat@ss blister and you spend every ay on epicmafia

i write essays periodically lol, whenever i genuinely have something to say its way longer than needed :p i add too much crap

error is extremely boring, is epicmafia your whole life lol, take a chill pill and don't take it so seriously. its a fricking game boo, if mistakes are made that's hardly a reason for a vendetta. go out and get some fresh air once in a while <3 don't call me illiterate, writing in proper english on a game site is hardly anything to feel superior about. you cant even do the basic team work aspect of the game yet you bring people down for missing things, don't tell people about dust in their eyes when there's a huge log in yours. x

but u have to..be my girlfriend!! *snickers nefariously* /thinks to self/ 'man, if this works, i'll get this cute girl to be my girlfriend and i'll ride the cool roller coasters! c'mon, luck be a lady tonight!' *crosses fingers and gulps* s-so.. *adjusts collar and looks firmly* what do oyu sasy to my proposal? *waits patiently*

Since we're letting just any old jackass do it now, can I be the next owner of Sandbox? I promise to be the most jackassy of them all!

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO
B­A­S­T­A­RDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng. THEN I LIFT

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m stupid but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Nick's breath caught in his throat and his body filled head to toe with an airy sensation. He'd fantasized this scenario countless times in assured privacy, sometimes indulging in much less decent escalations, but never had he imagined that it would ever become real, that he would actually experience the excitement and arousal of each and every cell in his body by the real deal himself. Gatsby's shaking hands, his quiet gasps and breaths, the sincerity in the kiss, it all inundated Nick's mind in those few seconds, and so he stood there in shock.

“ok so if i get the premium alaskan fish sandwhich, the chicken strips and the chicken fries are you going to have some chicken fries because i dont want to be the only one eating them"
"why are you getting chicken strips and chicken fries they’re the same thing”
“ok im just going to pretend i didn’t hear that completely idiotic and inaccurate statement you just made right now"
"why dont you just get two orders of chicken fries it would be cheaper”
“wow gendo thats a really great way to look at things. while we’re at it why don’t you just drive this car right out of this drive-thru and off a cliff. i mean, you know, because it would be cheaper. i dont even know you anymore”

THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE MAN WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED

Say a slur that qualifies as a HC, I dare you because I will screenshot it and use it as leverage if you ever cross me. I mean, I'll rightfully report you to the mods like the kind em user I am.

Motherfcking Jesse Eisenberg Jesus Christ fck dude motherfckin Facebook movie bullsht Jesus can you fcking believe this sht. God damn created Facebook then lawyers and sht right fcking Winklevoss twins god damn rowing the boat fck yo sht I can't even fcking believe this sht have you seen this sht fck I just watched this sht fck Jesse Eisenberg man. Motherfcking Spider-man Spider-man you put in the time fck put in the time motherfcking built sht with this bare hands fcking best friend sht Jesse Eisenberg I'm very tired. No man I'll just talk about the Facebook movie all day sht man you have to be so interested in the I have to say about the Facebook movie fck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fck Jesse Eisenberg man he fcked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin Oar did the soundtrack fck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like die. I can't think of who the fck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fck invented Facebook. MARK ZUCKERBERG.

If you like to talk to tomatoes,
If a squash can make you smile,
If you like to waltz with potatoes,
Up and down the produce aisle...
Have we got a show for you!
Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales!
Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales!
Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales!
Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales!
Broccoli, celery, gotta be Veggie Tales,
Lima beans, collard greens, peachy keen, Veggie Tales,
Cauliflower, sweet and sour, half an hour, Veggie Tales.
There's never ever ever ever ever been a show like Veggie Tales.
There's never ever ever ever ever been a show like Veggie Tales.
It's time for Veggie Taaaaaaaallllleeeeeeessssss!!!!

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

forgive english, i am Russia.
i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.
We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN , I IN " and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.
I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American .

Mark my words you console losers. You hear me right now? Loud and clear? Well good, you better listen the up.
I did NOT spend $600 on my GTX 980 another $300 on my overclock i7 @4.10ghz, 16 gigs of ram, and deluxe cooling systems to keep this beast at proper temperatures to NOT play Persona 5. You hear me you little ? I have spent WELL over $1000 on my gaming rig, and I WILL play Persona 5 on it one way or another. I abhor, I hate, I LOATHE the idea of even thinking of some cheap console from Sony being allowed even 30 yards from my basement. If I need to make a fortress with my pizza boxes, Big Mac boxes, and liters upon liters of bottles to to keep that underpowered piece of plastic toy away from my very being and my beautiful prized possession (that's my PC in case you don't know, low IQ peasents), then so be it.
Atlus, I will ask you nicely once more, You WILL port Persona 5 to the PC platform via Steam, it WILL obliterate the console version, and I WILL pirate it just to spite you dumb slant eyed gooks for even daring the even spite us; the proud and powerful PC master race.

SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! IN THE FAAAAAAAACE! DO IT! SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! FACE FACEFACEFACEFACE! NOW! BULLETS IN THE FACE! WANT EM! NEED EM! GIMMEGIMMEGIMME! AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL IT WILL BE FACESHOOTING O'CLOCK! BONGGGGG! KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! END OF JOKE! I'M GONNA SING A SONG! SHOOT ME AT THE END OF IT!

You feel sick, as though you had been poisoned!

And this time, I'm not gonna get caught. I've returned to EpicMafia after about... mm, I don't know... a YEAR? But this time, I will be king of EpicMafia! And I got my crew with me, and guess what? You're not gonna be able to do anything! 'Cuz I got like 50 alt accounts ready, and like... come on, troll me bro! ‘Cuz I’m all ready for this, you know? And like… - you know what? You guys won’t be able to figure me out this time, ‘cuz I got this new plan: I’m gonna be king of EpicMafia! All the times in the past I’ve failed, but NOT this time. This time I’ll succeed. The first one who ever hacked EpicMafia; that was me. The first person who ever truly cheated to the extent of making the forums a million times; that was me. And the one who’s gonna take over EpicMafia? It’s gonna be me. So I’ll see you guys in the leaderboard. Later.

“Just to be clear, I’m not a professional ‘quote maker’. I’m just an atheist teenager who greatly values his intelligence and scientific fact over any silly fiction book written 3,500 years ago. This being said, I am open to any and all criticism.

‘In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.’"

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲___[redacted] Don't mind me plebs, just taking my slurs for a walk.

☉‿⊙