I sexually Identify as John Cena. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of defending my WWE championship at WWE SUPERSLAM. People say to me that a person being John Cena is Impossible and I'm but I don't care, You Can't See Me. I'm having Vince McMahon inject me with Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect. From now on I want you guys to call me "Champ" and respect my right to Five Knuckle Shuffle and Never Give Up. If you can't accept me you're a cenaphobe and need to check your championship privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
What the did you just say about me, you little ? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that to me over the Internet? Think again, . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable off the face of the continent, you little . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, kiddo.
The best copypasta, now with censors!
deletedalmost 8 years
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Oan you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! Hey, Adam. Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel? A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Hear about Frankie? Yeah. You going to the funeral? No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men. We are! Bee-men. Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15.
Suppose that you were sitting down at a table. The napkins are in front of you, which napkin would you take? The one on your ‘left’? Or the one on your ‘right’? The one on your left side? Or the one on your right side? Usually you would take the one on your left side. That is ‘correct’ too. But in a larger sense on society, that is wrong. Perhaps I could even substitute ‘society’ with the ‘Universe’. The correct answer is that ‘It is determined by the one who takes his or her own napkin first.’ …Yes? If the first one takes the napkin to their right, then there’s no choice but for others to also take the ‘right’ napkin. The same goes for the left. Everyone else will take the napkin to their left, because they have no other option. This is ‘society’… Who are the ones that determine the price of land first? There must have been someone who determined the value of money, first. The size of the rails on a train track? The magnitude of electricity? Laws and Regulations? Who was the first to determine these things? Did we all do it, because this is a Republic? Or was it Arbitrary? NO! The one who took the napkin first determined all of these things! The rules of this world are determined by that same principle of ‘right or left?’! In a Society like this table, a state of equilibrium, once one makes the first move, everyone must follow! In every era, this World has been operating by this napkin principle. And the one who ‘takes the napkin first’ must be someone who is respected by all. It’s not that anyone can fulfill this role… Those that are despotic or unworthy will be scorned. And those are the ‘losers’. In the case of this table, the ‘eldest’ or the ‘Master of the party’ will take the napkin first… Because everyone ‘respects’ those individuals.
Who am I? I'm glad you asked. I'm Rio. Nakamura. I'm a student in Assassination Classroom fighting to kill Koro-sensei. I'm highly trained in close combat and I am NOT a girl you want to cross. Honey, I'm giving you superstar. Just don't cross me. blows kiss TURNS Oh…and for those of you that call me a weeb…? turns again in slow motion with dress/hair blowing in the wind Get over yourself. I'm here to win.
It doesn't matter. Listen kid you don't want to see my other side. I have a wolf inside me with a muzzle on, but the muzzle is about to come off. You broke her heart, and I will break yours. She is a nice girl, how dare you use her like this. How come people like you get to date her? Then people like me have to sit in the shadows and be the shoulders to cry on. Listen Kid, I don't have time for DUCKING games. I am a nice guy, but when you make a nice guy angry; the world shakes. Don't do it again. ... You will regret this the next FULL MOON. You mess with me you mess with the pack bud. DUCK you. Get ready.
