Epicmafia

deletedover 8 years

Connor says

you took your clothes off in the lounge?

yeah this is another thing. unfortunately it was a hostel so we had like, not private area to screw and the lounge at 1am was as close as we could get. there was totally the chance someone coulda walked in on us. some chinese fellow, who would be hella confused. heck, for all i know someone DID walk in on us. idk man, i was pretty distracted by the naked lady in front of me.

ice

over 8 years

mist says

secondly, don't poop while having sex. look, im not pointing any fingers. our afterglow was cut painfully short by the distinct scent of feces. and then we found a literal piece of poop at the base of one of the beanbags. now again, im not passing around any blame, but i certainly didn't poop during sex, and im pretty dang sure that poop wasn't there before we banged. and im also like, 70% there was no one else in the beanbags for the duration of said intercourse. so like. u can probably see where im going with this.

take it as a compliment

citeopmI

over 8 years

mist says

secondly, don't poop while having sex. look, im not pointing any fingers. our afterglow was cut painfully short by the distinct scent of feces. and then we found a literal piece of poop at the base of one of the beanbags. now again, im not passing around any blame, but i certainly didn't poop during sex, and im pretty dang sure that poop wasn't there before we banged. and im also like, 70% there was no one else in the beanbags for the duration of said intercourse. so like. u can probably see where im going with this.

ok I call bs this story is too incredible

krystal

over 8 years

mist says

secondly, don't poop while having sex. look, im not pointing any fingers. our afterglow was cut painfully short by the distinct scent of feces. and then we found a literal piece of poop at the base of one of the beanbags. now again, im not passing around any blame, but i certainly didn't poop during sex, and im pretty dang sure that poop wasn't there before we banged. and im also like, 70% there was no one else in the beanbags for the duration of said intercourse. so like. u can probably see where im going with this.

LMFAO no way u are being serious rn hahahahahaha

roadman

over 8 years

Impoetic says

roadman says

Impoetic says

roadman says

Shout out to my fellow virgins.

roadman says

Connor says

first time sex on beanbags sounds pretty difficult

Maybe if you're a cripple.

put the d where your mouth is tbh

I don't think anyone will be putting their D where their mouth is.

so you've tried it

When I was a yout'. I learnt a pretty quick lesson however.

deletedover 8 years

secondly, don't poop while having sex. look, im not pointing any fingers. our afterglow was cut painfully short by the distinct scent of feces. and then we found a literal piece of poop at the base of one of the beanbags. now again, im not passing around any blame, but i certainly didn't poop during sex, and im pretty dang sure that poop wasn't there before we banged. and im also like, 70% there was no one else in the beanbags for the duration of said intercourse. so like. u can probably see where im going with this.

krystal

over 8 years

http://www.vice.com/read/how-to-suck-your-own-di*k

citeopmI

over 8 years

roadman says

Impoetic says

roadman says

Shout out to my fellow virgins.

roadman says

Connor says

first time sex on beanbags sounds pretty difficult

Maybe if you're a cripple.

put the d where your mouth is tbh

I don't think anyone will be putting their D where their mouth is.

so you've tried it

citeopmI

over 8 years

mist says

actually i do have wisdom on this. let me tell you about the mistakes we made, after we took our clothes off.

first of all, if you can help it, don't lose your virginity to a virgin. i mean, i know this is kind of not the first thing u think of when ur lookin' to get laid but this is sound advice. we were both virgins and as it turns out, we had no idea how to have sex. it took us like, 15 minutes and 3 condoms to figure out a position in which penetration was feasible.

that sounds HILARIOUS

Clair

over 8 years

mist says

actually i do have wisdom on this. let me tell you about the mistakes we made, after we took our clothes off.

first of all, if you can help it, don't lose your virginity to a virgin. i mean, i know this is kind of not the first thing u think of when ur lookin' to get laid but this is sound advice. we were both virgins and as it turns out, we had no idea how to have sex. it took us like, 15 minutes and 3 condoms to figure out a position in which penetration was feasible.

i think that's just the american sex ed being abysmal

Arcbell

over 8 years

some people can do it harry

krystal

over 8 years

mist says

actually i do have wisdom on this. let me tell you about the mistakes we made, after we took our clothes off.

first of all, if you can help it, don't lose your virginity to a virgin. i mean, i know this is kind of not the first thing u think of when ur lookin' to get laid but this is sound advice. we were both virgins and as it turns out, we had no idea how to have sex. it took us like, 15 minutes and 3 condoms to figure out a position in which penetration was feasible.

hmmm, but wasn't it more interesting and memorable since you were both virgins? didn't u feel more connected. imagine sticking it into a black hole for your first time after devante/shamzy been there

roadman

over 8 years

Impoetic says

roadman says

Shout out to my fellow virgins.

roadman says

Connor says

first time sex on beanbags sounds pretty difficult

Maybe if you're a cripple.

put the d where your mouth is tbh

I don't think anyone will be putting their D where their mouth is.

Clair

over 8 years

you took your clothes off in the lounge?

Miki

over 8 years

#he hasnt changed

citeopmI

over 8 years

roadman says

Shout out to my fellow virgins.

roadman says

Connor says

first time sex on beanbags sounds pretty difficult

Maybe if you're a cripple.

put the d where your mouth is tbh

roadman

over 8 years

Impoetic says

I'm 40% sure 17 is a record for people who also use epicmafia and 60% sure I should not be shouted at by the site admin

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

citeopmI

over 8 years

I'm 40% sure 17 is a record for people who also use epicmafia and 60% sure I should not be shouted at by the site admin

krystal

over 8 years

is erectile dysfunction considered being crippled?

deletedover 8 years

actually i do have wisdom on this. let me tell you about the mistakes we made, after we took our clothes off.

first of all, if you can help it, don't lose your virginity to a virgin. i mean, i know this is kind of not the first thing u think of when ur lookin' to get laid but this is sound advice. we were both virgins and as it turns out, we had no idea how to have sex. it took us like, 15 minutes and 3 condoms to figure out a position in which penetration was feasible.

for krystalk