in love with someone gone
part of  family
 
5,534
2
96
1004
88wins97losses11left

Art by Aexif!

Haha, who thought I'd make it this far, Lemon? =)

Art by Mizzmox!

To the people who matter the most: Ballsy and arials92

Art by Shwartz99!

Introduction

Hello! I am user #419623 "Golbolco", the owner of Golbox, home of the Golburger, proprietor of the Golbultima franchise of setups, arbiter of all things Golbamania, and creator of over 100 roles (including king, usurper, snowman, cutler, librarian and rival!)

Golbolco: A Summary by Arianna:

"golb!! so at first i thought u were just some huge troll n like rlly rude actually but after a while i've gotten to spend more time w/ n around u n i've rlly grown to like u n b a fan i think u have an admirable attitude bc u are more mature n rational in situations than most ppl i've come across here n u have good thoughts n ideas n are rlly patient w/ ppl =)"

Art by Taurarius!

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do you downvote everything? I downvote net upvotes and upvote net downvotes. It's to keep the universe in balance.

Are you real? Contrary to popular belief, yes.

Art by Pavoneo!

People Golbamania has run wild upon

  • Sishen- Crime: Abusive moderating and being too sloppy to even cover it up properly; Verdict: Public shaming and demodding - UPDATE: Crime: Harassing underage girls and then trying to turn it around on SirAmelio when chatbanned for it; Verdict: Public shaming on the lobby wall
  • Jimbei- Crime: Lying and manipulating other users to become Sandbox owner; Verdict: Public shaming and forced owner transfer to Golbolco
  • Error- Crime: Toxic actions, mod abusing, harming the community; Verdict: https://epicmafia.com/topic/79558 - UPDATE: He's dead, Jim.
  • Merlot- Crime and Verdict: https://epicmafia.com/topic/80858

Art by Lukageo!

Quotes

"This year has been rife with turmoil, tragedy, and irretrievable loss. I urge you all to find help where it's available and to never hesitate to consult an admin, moderator, or better yet, a qualified professional for assistance. This is a community. We love, we hate, we bicker, we troll. This doesn't necessarily change the dynamic of our EM family. I have my heart and soul invested in you folks. All I ask is that you take the steps to look out for yourselves and your loved ones. Be well. Be safe. Happy Holidays." -Error, to the community

"You're a stupid squawking Neanderthal, probably because you are a sandbox player. ¯(ツ)/¯" -Sonseray, to Bebop

"make ur quote 'wow golbolco, your a-reel peas of shit'-Aquity" -Equity

"thought you were a female until you opened you're jaws. now I confirm you're something else, entirely. you should be silenced forever; simply erased... you're vile & repugnant with a desperate undertone of "needing to prove"; you're also 30 years of age and regress to childlike tendencies with each passing second of your insignificant existence...how long will you continue this pathetic charade? and how i pity anything else you spawn." -jay23, to Wubat

"We shouldn't have a mod that's incompatible with and has nothing but contempt for the community they're supposed to be serving." -Christopherzilla

"The ignorance of this community... I bet all of you would play epicmafia over roblox..." -tigermom

"HI IM GOLBOLCO DID YOU KNOW I HAVE TOURETTES I CAN'T STOP SAYING EPICMAFIA IS ONLY SLIGHTLY PROFITABLE." -CooperD

"And this time, I'm not gonna get caught. I've returned to EpicMafia after about... mm, I don't know... a YEAR? But this time, I will be king of EpicMafia! And I got my crew with me, and guess what? You're not gonna be able to do anything! 'Cuz I got like 50 alt accounts ready, and like... come on, troll me bro! ‘Cuz I’m all ready for this, you know? And like… - you know what? You guys won’t be able to figure me out this time, ‘cuz I got this new plan: I’m gonna be king of EpicMafia! All the times in the past I’ve failed, but NOT this time. This time I’ll succeed. The first one who ever hacked EpicMafia; that was me. The first person who ever truly cheated to the extent of making the forums a million times; that was me. And the one who’s gonna take over EpicMafia? It’s gonna be me. So I’ll see you guys in the leaderboard. Later." -AdamTheGambler, to Lucidrains

"there are no bad roles just bad players" -bdog1321

"YOU'RE A BIGGER JOKE THAN ME." -WildWalrus, to Slowbro

"I guess your IQ pales in comparison to my 150." -Moomo, to bdog1321

"When Golbamania comes… You’ll hear no banned users roar… No weebs annoying with their anime… No noavis growing in the meadows… No memes on the sandbox wall… The mods will fall where they rule… The SJWs will rot and wither… No trolls annoying in the forums and no hackers spamming games… Not even the EMJack script will warm you in your games. You shall hear only the golbamaniacs whistle… And then you will know. Golbamania has come." -SirAmelio

"kick golboco all he does is sui out when caught and not play the game" -ruiyang

"golbolco is better than me at everything" -Christopherzilla

Art by NekoMANRI!

http://sketchtoy.com/67062196

http://sketchtoy.com/67106830

Art by Herredy!

Lore

Art by ObitoSigma!

My threads

https://epicmafia.com/topic/76487 Star Wars Facts

https://epicmafia.com/topic/76403 Daily Drama Report

https://epicmafia.com/topic/76670 How to make a Golburger

https://epicmafia.com/topic/77253 Sandbox Pranks

https://epicmafia.com/topic/77350 R E L E A S E

https://epicmafia.com/topic/77607 Hoob

https://epicmafia.com/topic/78634 Golbamaniacs

Art by NekoManri!

Conclusion

I hope you have enjoyed your stroll though my profile as much as I enjoyed writing it all up. Feel free to go through my answered questions (feel free ask me anything anytime!), read through the comments or check out some of my roles. Thanks!

Questions

about 8 years
oh thank gosh ^-^ she looked like she was in pain
Nah she's fine.
about 8 years
I adore the stuff you do for the site but if I'm totally honest your avatar scares the shit outta me. Who's it supposed to be?
Contrary to popular belief, it's not someone being choked! That's a scarf around her neck.
anonymousabout 8 years
sharky is malarkey
Right on, Snobbert.
anonymousabout 8 years
http://pastebin.com/nmcCHUEH http://pastebin.com/HfERpjBy
Thank you for sending me your fanfictions for archival purposes.
about 8 years
Ur a meme
Ur a scheme

Achievements

4 / 20Super Sleuth!
3 / 20I'm Miller, I Swear!
3 / 20He's Batman
3 / 20Do No Harm
1 / 30Oxyclean
about 6 years
EM needs to be revived
over 6 years
Golbolco would survive a zombie apocalypse.
over 6 years
i would return the favor and create an epicmafia lore profile for you, but i saw Veerat already did and also i am not creative enough

u keep being cool though golbolco
rock on ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
over 6 years
pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug
over 6 years
what is dangan ronpa ;o;
over 6 years
Epicmafia Lore Profile:

Potentially related to the ancient bringer of chaos, Squidgirl, Golbolco is dedicated to bringing the like and dislike ratio of every post to zero. No side shall gain too much power so long as Golbolco the Equalizer exists. It is said the sheer amount of custom roles invented by the Equalizer are merely dolls intended to fight during an upcoming war between Sandbox and Main. When not busy equalizing, Golbolco is happy to serve anyone who asks a famous Golburger.
over 6 years
yo thanks for the comment on my profile lmao
over 6 years
i am NOT a dangan but im glad u think im influential uwu
over 6 years
YUO ARE AN EPICMAFIA LORE PROFILE STFU
over 6 years
also +3k
over 6 years
Epicmafia Lolco Profilco:

Golbocolobo golbolo colbolo. Gogocolo, olco gobo lolobo gobloco oglcolo. Gogoclo ooglo cologo gogl'o gobolo gocolo. Gololo ogglolo goglogo, glo ol go. Gololbo coolgo oglogo.
over 6 years
I love it, thank you
over 6 years
shut UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
over 6 years
And this time, I’m not gonna get caught
over 6 years
Ha! You're hilarious EM user #419623
over 6 years
I don't know, what IS the longest dinosaur?
over 6 years
I'd love to hear a joke, EM user Golbolco.
over 6 years
im lioving on totino pizza rolls and cup of noodles pls send recipes
over 6 years
pug meat golshake
over 6 years
hey id like to order two golburgers with cheese and mayo, no onions or lettuce please. make the golfries extra crispy, and a golshake on the side (medium)