*swats bobby out of the way like a fly*

*kills bobby flay and feeds his corpse to the wolves*

*swats bobby flay out of the way like a fly*

I'm Bobby Flay.

Each week, one brave chef will try to take me down in my house.

This culinary battle is gonna shake down in two rounds.

Round 1 -- To get to me, two contenders have to go through each other using an ingredient of my choice. Two people that know me well will decide who's got the skills to beat me.

Round 2 -- I go head-to-head with the winning contender. It's their turn to surprise me with their signature dish.

All right, guys. Here to hit me with everything they've got:
Fellow chefs Guy Fieri and Gordon Ramsay!



Wait... WHAT? *looks at cameraman* there's no way I can beat these guys! I only beat amateur chefs to make myself look good!



*angrily walks away*

Fieri you idiot. Once again you've outdone yourself. Did you never wonder why they call it HELL'S Kitchen?



*Ramsey picks up a flaming filet-o-fish, ready to chuck it at Fieri's head*
You look a little undercooked Fieri, let's FIX that! When I'm done with you they'll be calling your show Diners, Drive-ins, and DEATH

along with my previous order i'd like to get shaggy here, please and thanks

Tsk tsk tsk Mr. Ramsey .... once again you underestimate me. You should know better then to enter a McDonald's, a holy place in which was created in my image, and expect to live. McDonald's is my BIRTHING PLACE.... You cannot defeat me you simple-minded idiot of a chef.


*with a wave of his hand, Guy summoned the eternal fires of the 3rd Level of Hell, and gave a sly grin*
Your reign of terror upon innocent fast food establishments ends today, Gordon. I shall damn you to the underworld for all of time, and you will know NO REST under my watchful eye. BEGONE!

can i PLEASE get a waffle

can i get an uuhhh... clearly, the best meme, fortnite borgar

Ramsey and Fieri should kiss

*rubbing my willy in the bathroom*

Can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

can i get a waffle

*Ramsey rises slowly and turns to face Fieri, pulling out his kitchen demolishing hammer*


Fieri, you fool. You think you've WON? YOU WOULDN’T KNOW A REAL BURGER IF ONE HIT YOU IN THE BACK OF YOUR THINNING HAIRSPRAYED HEAD YOU F*CKING DONKEY


YOU AIN'T SEEN THE SH*T I SEEN YOU PATHETIC SUNBURNT GREMLIN TRASH EXCUSE OF A FOOD NETWORK SHOW HOST I'M YOUR WORST KITCHEN NIGHTMARE

yeah can i get a uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*puts sand on counter*

May I also have some ice please?

now this is epic roleplay

*Guy Fieri, in a moment of panic, uses his secret technique that allows him to use fade and use teleportation to escape Ramsey's grasp and teleport behind him*
Gordon, you lower class British troglodyte, you've trespassed on my domain of fast food for the LAST TIME!

*Fieri unsheathes his Gun of Destruction, ready to pull the trigger and release the destruction of a thousand suns onto Gordon, wiping him off the face of this planet and from existence itself*
You baffoon, you've entered MY domain and now you will pay the consequences, any last words?

Tonight on Kitchen Nightmares Chef Ramsey is in for an extremely difficult challenge in trying to turn around a backwards McDonalds in Southern California which has been falling behind in customer orders and violating FDA health codes.

*walks in*

Hi it's me Chef Ramsey welcome to Kitchen Nightma-


Fieri you absolute F*CK you P*SS licking SCUM we had this location called FIRST for our show get the F*CK out of here with your TRASHY diner reviews I'll SNATCH that ugly A SS porcupine lookin WIG right off ur head ANY day you fat F*CK

*tackles Guy Fieri to the ground*

Alyssa says

YellowPear says

can i get 15 mcchickens thanks

ReadyForBready says

Gimme 20 mcnuggets.

*actually prepares these foods but mixes up the orders and gives you the wrong bags*

WHERE ARE MY 20 CHICKEN MCNUGGETS?!! YOU FORGOT MY SWEET CURRY SAUCE!! MY QUADRUPLETS' BIRTHDAYS ARE RUINED!!

Hey! I'm GUY FIERI and we're ROLLIN OUT, looking for America's greatest DINERS, DRIVE-IN's, AND DIVES!
On this episode we're headin to an EXCLUSIVE McDonald's that's said to have the BEST burgers and McChickens out in the west coast! We're headin out to get an EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK at its grand opening, that's right here right now on TRIPLE D!

*cue intro*
Alright everyone, it was a long trip but we're finally here in SoCal to get a first look at this exclusive new grand opening of this top notch McDonald's, lets head on in and see what we're dealing with!

*walks in*


oh my god what happened here

nepenthe says

What you guys have no Szechuan sauce? I WANT SZECHUAN SAUCE! WHERE'S MY SZECHUAN SAUCE??!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!!!!!! WUBBALUBBADUBDUB!!!!!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!! REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEEE!!!!! REEEEE!!!!!!

.

get out.

YellowPear says

can i get 15 mcchickens thanks

ReadyForBready says

Gimme 20 mcnuggets.

*actually prepares these foods but mixes up the orders and gives you the wrong bags*

AlienK says

May I have a cup of water? It's for my special some one. Do you accept payment in the form of sand?

Please do not leave sand on the counter.