to buy gifts or even have time to make something meaningful for the people i care about these holidays, am i just going to be considered the a'sshole this year or what? ive never been in this spot before. i mean i can probably transfer people a dollar in bitcoin as a "surprise!" and make it seem like they're soon gonna be rich
ian is a troll and that question was really obviously baiting, regardless of whether the ways he baits reflect elements of his actual beliefs. That's at least partially true of most of the posts i've ever seen from him, lol
That is to say, despite my repeatedly claiming that these differences include constructs and that many of them probably don't have basis or end up being negligible, i end up treating people according to them. That's not concrete evidence for or against anything, necessarily, but i thought i'd point it out because i'm pretty certain it isn't -just- me, and it's a big part of what keeps me from deciding how significant any of those roles are in daily life, not to mention a big part of what perpetuates them insofar as they truly are nonnegligible
(though anecdotal evidence being biased is nothing new and it's kind of useless for me to go on about it like this)
really to say anything coherent i need to step back and reorganize my thoughhts but idc fu it's not like anyone has to or wants to read all this lol
i'm sheltered and have a very limited, biased pool of people i interact with -- and since those people often come from the same culture as i do (on both macro and micro scales), their actions and personalities are influenced by it, too. As a result, there are fewer girls fitting the traditionally feminine stereotypes that I know than there probably are in general, because i come from such a privileged family in a relatively liberal state and talk to more people that share my interests and attitudes. So I feel my own experiences with people probably ought to be taken for granted to some extent -- well, except to say that is a clear example of the influence of culture having a SAY in it, but that's kind of a "duh" thing and has nothing to do with whether or not there are nonnegligible genetic factors.
(On the same note, i also don't really know many of the guys that fit the "macho" stereotypes or seem to feel the need to conform to them. I think that maybe sort of stems in some ways from the groups you hang out with, the people you see some part of yourself in, and... just, well, what role models you have and who you want to be accepted by, even if those things are just subliminal biases)
That paragraph reminds me of another thing I've frequently observed in myself: with the ideas of cultural norms in the back of my head, i have a tendency to inadvertently zero in on girls and guys with any one of those traits as supporting the differences, and to view the traits that do not support them as exceptions to this nebulous set of ever-shifting rules. I also assume things about girls and boys way more than i expect myself to. I could cite a couple examples off the top of my head, but there are probably plenty more i overlooked because they weren't obviously proven wrong to me in a way that stuck out.
There seems to be a big emphasis on girls not liking the social aspect spawned by the types of people already in engineering, i.e. a bunch of socially awkward/autistic guys feeling romantic desperation from the lack of like-minded females. Guys seem to be more willing to risk their future social success (with females) to pursue their technical interests, whereas girls tend to be more thoughtful about how their choice of major will affect their life socially (avoiding awkward and weird guys that make them uncomfortable). This kind of ties back to the distinction Arcbell was making about how girls and guys focus on social/societal and physical issues in different ways.
i think cultural and biological differences are often inextricable from each other
but i think there is definitely a big cultural part of girls not liking math and guys going into CS/tech, regardless of whether there are genetic tendencies complicit in spawning that culture. i mean, there were far more pronounced differences here in the past, when culture changed more than genetics; there continue to be gradually less strict boundaries. and i mean a lot of it just takes more confidence than intelligence lmao
people tend towards liking and continuing what they expect to be good at and what they are valued for. that definitely contributes to it. I often wonder how much of our interests are just shaped over time by what we happen to experience. of course there's far more to it to that and there are genetic components but like, has your enjoyment of a class ever been influenced by your respect for the teacher? of course it has. and don't you think sometimes your personality is shaped by the role models and how you want your self image to be?
really can't explain this but i think there are a lot of possible factors contributing. and obviously i am too biased about the gender thing to say, but some of what i'm rambling about here seems to apply to other roles in society, too, and it's fun to think about even if it's useless. That is, the how-it-works behind people, not the people themselves, is interesting. I'd associate that with the same mental process to a lot of other things. Actually, this is an example of "what we care about" being somewhat arbitrary, maybe.
i dont think they care less about being funny but if they have the same capabilities as men and the outcome is different its gotta be they care less about it right?
yes. to put it very broadly, I think the girls and boys alike are good at solving problems they care about. girls tend to care more about problems reducing to people and boys tend to care more about problems reducing to the physical world, stuff like that
idk if this is a troll post i'm too lazy to read back but in case it's not: just do something nice/thoughtful, invite them over for dinner, hang out with them or something tell them something nice and that you appreciate them even if you don't have the means to show it in a tangible way. i'd be happy if i got food as a gift since i can eat it
