Don't freak out but I am part of a highly secretive agency and I have been sent to observe your every move because we have found DNA in your blood that does not belong to any living substance on earth.
For scrutinizing every detail about my life since the day I moved into this fishpool you have lied and snooped and gossiped about me like I was your own personal laboratory subject.
How would you feel if I turned your life inside out?
If I told all these people that Chad, your husband, slept with the spin class instructor long before me.
Well maybe he acts that was because you BLLLEEEEWWW THE ROOFER AT THE CABIN!
.........
This was your olive branch. And you torched it. Huuuuuuuge mistake.