She reminded him that not only would I be ostracized, but him also along with the entire family, so he zipped his filthy lips like the coward he was. I still repress my sexuality to this day, never even had my first kiss yet. People would ask me why I was so indifferent to dating and I'd lie and say I was asexual. Luckily for me, my appearance and voice didn't give anything away and honestly no one could tell I was gay. I did do little odd things however, like apply that eyeliner sh1t and eyebrow stuff, whatever it's called, when I was home alone, never liked lipstick or that powder crap though. I'd also cover my mouth in a feminine way whenever I'd laugh or so I'm told. I personally don't think I do ??? Probably going to officially come out when I'm financially independent or whenever I muster up the confidence. Idk, it's hard to trust people when your own dad would kill you if he ever knew you were a gay boy.
I can really relate to this. I've known I was gay ever since preschool and I also knew that if I ever told anyone, something really bad could happen to me. Only 4 people irl to this day know that I'm homosexual and it wasn't even to my own accord. Near the end of highschool, my older brother who was abusive to me, physically and emotionally, went on my laptop without my permission and browsed my history, finding that I visited gay sites. He immediately told my mom and sister (my mom and sister love me unconditionally no matter what) and would have told the entire community if my mom didn't warn him.
hahaha yeah this is often called the ocean test for short. iirc each of the traits can also be related to common traits of the UN big 5 but i can't remember... we had a discussion about this in a psych class i took a long time ago
I completely goofed up by talking about inside out and sad songs without realizing there was a really personal post literally a page before that
I guess I’m late to this but just wanted to say: good for you, and I mean this in all honesty. I don’t feel the need to preface this with “i’ve always known you to be a good guy” or anything like that (even though you are), because even if i thought you were an asśhole it takes a lot of guts to post something so personal on the internet or anywhere really, and I highly respect and commend you for it. I hope that in the coming days of your life, you feel less conflicted about how others view you (which is difficult to do), and you’ve got my support as well the support of many others on this thread to back you up. Major props and respect to you my dude
I know I'm late to the whole gay thing but I just wanted to say that you've been nothing but kind to me throughout my time on this website and I'm glad to have met you. You're an awesome guy and I commend you for your bravery in coming out <3
it works a lot actually. Fully allowing your grief to settle, experiencing it and comprehending it to be able to take the pain/loss before moving on from it is far more beneficial to mental well-being than seeking escapism, in my experience
It’s also kind of what the great Pixar movie “Inside Out” teaches us hah
So I've finished the fourth season of black mirror. For me, half the episodes were hits and the other half were misses.
I feel like the same ideas are starting to be recycled, which worries me for what content they can come up with for future seasons. However, I'm still enjoying the storylines and the moral questions the show gets us to ask ourselves.
And yeah I think I hid my homosexuality on this site for at least the first 4-5 months I was here because I mostly hide it in real life - I came out in a morning Skype chat basically by holding a hot guy Sunday by changing the picture as we did fairly often in that chat and even then a few people didn't take the hint.
But really in some ways this site has been both the biggest confidence booster and also maybe slightly negative in some ways. I've never had the level of support or had my homosexuality normalized and really just felt comfortable with it like I've had on this site. It's amazing that my friends here don't even think twice about me or make me feel awkward in any way and that's something I've absolutely never had in real life with the few people I've come out to.
But at the same time it's kind of been a curse in that, now that I have all the support and comfort I need here, and because of the great awkwardness I have to deal with in real life compared to the practically none that exists here - I really didn't continue my progression in real life of slowly coming out to people. It pretty much ground to a halt because I didn't need that support anymore.
I guess all I'm saying Emile is the people in this community are amazing and accepting and you honestly will be seen as 0% different, but how you're able to progress and deal with your real life handling of your sexuality still is important and needs a lot of focus and courage and I wish you all the best and hopefully you'll feel like you have people who are in this with you on your journey :)
Nothing about your comments would ever change the genuine respect and love people on this site feel towards you Emile. If nothing else it would increase that. Thanks for speaking up, I'm proud of you and proud to call you my friend. I think it's natural to be conscious of how the world views you, it's a matter of not letting that dictate who you are or what you do. I wish you the best of luck with working through all of this and finding the balance between being yourself and fitting in with your family and friends.
