Hi baby girl hehe. Everything's okay, I promise. I forgive you. It's okay, don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be okay. I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than there are grains of sand, on every beach, of every planet, of every galaxy of the universe. I-I need you in my life. I need you more than humans need water, and food to survive. You mean more to me than - home depot means to Mr Ladrado. You mean more to me than just anything. You mean more to me than gold and diamonds, mean to the greediest burglar. And you're just the most perfect, most beautiful girl in all of the world, and I love you so much. I hope you enjoy watching this, baby girl kiss, hehe. See you at school tomorrow baby girl. I love you raises eyebrows, hehe. I do, it's true. I love you more than anything else in the world hehehe. Bye baby girl. Stay perfect. Just for me.
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deletedabout 6 years
Has it not occurred to you that the voice you've read my post in is in fact the voice in your head? It's your voice, it bears your tone, and your judgement values.
How about this: Why are you being a little ? I am the matriarch of redditarian gang banging, dear. Do you not know who I am? I am desperately lonely.
Are you trying to be my friend? Because you've got an interesting way of going about it. I'm ok with this, I can work with this, this is what we do. I do this. (That's an ICP reference. Get it?)
Or am I wrong? Are you hurt or offended by something I said? Have I wronged you somehow? Are you upset? Do you feel trolled?
As your friend, I feel obliged to inform you that if you said "yes" to any of these questions, you might be misattributing things to me which do not exist. If you don't understand what that means, how about don't sit there and tell me I'm both somehow subjective and also wrong.
You can't have it both ways.
So what's it going to be, chummer? I am The House. And The House says the door is open. Are you going to walk in here, my up, and steal my properties? Ok, that's rude. We could also just chill.
If I think I'm someone who thinks they're deeper than they actually are, then clearly I must dig deeper. I died once, true story.
Listen... everything I've said in this thread... you must read in a voice with a friendly tone. And before you interrupted me, a youthful jubilence. You're abrasive, I'm sure you already know that. I understand I can be abrasive as well. I can understand you, I need you to understand me.
If you don't understand me, we can't be friends. If we can't be friends, then you best get to stepping because you're in my way.
I can not. I can not on my DAUGHTERS birthday believe that you would sit there and use some crap like that. You are a bull face. I- I c- Disgusting! Disgusting! I havent talked to you in 3 days. You didn't campaign to me. You. You. I can not! Disgusting! Disgusting! I cant believe on my daughters birthday that you would drag my name through the mud like this. You're- you are disgusting! Do you understand? That's fine because the public saw who I voted out. And it was you. And we'll get you out again. So that's cute. That's real cute. That's cute. That's cute. REAL CUTE
Long-time non-biased veteran of the prestigious moderation team Sir Morgan Bebop Esq. can confirm that at that exact time I was not on the site anywhere during the hacking.
My joke testimony alone is not enough to satisfy the verdict so hastily given, as both English and American common law go by the rules that one under indictment or arrest is not considered guilty until proven so. With the high majority of the mod team being from the U.S. or U.K., the rules would state that I should not have been banned until I was proven to be the culprit (eventually found to be Madame Jamesina A. B. C.)
In response to my joke testimony, I should have only been placed within a court of contempt, where my permaban would not signify so. In the court of contempt for trolling while under oath, the penalty deemed necessary is but a mere trolling violation, which would have only banned me for 24 hours while the investigations continued.
Now the people vs. Minor user DatGuiser is very biased, and DatGuiser has had enough emotional trauma of being locked out of his own account with private information. The people have already found them to be innocent, as well as in several other mistrials and so the court moves for the defendant DatGuiser and his permabanned accounts Orienteering/CPO1 to be instantly unbanned and apologized to upon his properly scheduled unban time of 0000 hours of August 3rd, 2018 PST.
(Jaw drops to the floor. Eyes pop out. Sound effect of, "AWOOOOGA AWOOOOGA!!!!" Places eyes and jaw back in place. Regains composure.) ... Eh hem, you look quite lovely.
