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EM Bachelorette

deletedover 7 years

Post below to be a contestant for EM Bachelorette, where you will win the hand of 2 of EM's finest bachelorettes:

1) ponds (https://epicmafia.com/user/329026#/)- everyone's fave gurl

2) Ellie (https://epicmafia.com/user/658526#/)- she is a hot b1tch and my best friend be NICE

Round 1: Post your best pick-up line. The more creative the better.

No one will be eliminated, but there will be a winner picked by each of the girls.

Round 2:

Puns- Make a pun with one or both of the girls' names.

Again the winners will be picked by each of the girls and I'll be eliminating people this round who don't post.

KinkajusRevenge
over 7 years
Round 2: lol wtf? really? a pun? maybe if these rounds were more fun people would be more res(ponds)ive

srsly taht's all I've got
KinkajusRevenge
over 7 years
Round 1: If you spray me with that pepper spray, we'll have to go on a blind date
Bookkeeper
over 7 years
After we grow old together, I'm sure we'll be together in (Ellie)sium.
Whitepimp007
over 7 years
Nah, elephants are super smart and have great long term memory.
deletedover 7 years

xPooky says

You must be an Ellie-phant because after one night together, you will never forget what will happen


i read that as you calling her fat
Whitepimp007
over 7 years
I can't do round 2, cause I'm not actually punny.
xPooky
over 7 years
You must be an Ellie-phant because after one night together, you will never forget what will happen
deletedover 7 years

lilac says

please dont objectify women bonk #feminismpower


you can't objectify an object
take
over 7 years
I've been pondering about how to be elliegible to you.
take
over 7 years
You really clean my soul soaphia.
deletedover 7 years
ride me up n down like an ellie-vator
xPooky
over 7 years
Summer is coming, I want to keep licking you like a ponds-icle
ling
over 7 years
look ellie negging me aint gonna work
ElIie
over 7 years
Calvin is a better wingman than you
ling
over 7 years
i dont have my rep by being a beta
ling
over 7 years
its called being a bro also u might be fat and calvins less picky
ElIie
over 7 years
Beta
ling
over 7 years
calvin called dibs on you im outties
ElIie
over 7 years
So ling, I hear you are Alpha?
deletedover 7 years
ill think about u every time i unload my sticky serum into a sloozy
ling
over 7 years
i hope you remembere me when you are sucessful with 2 gfs bonk
ling
over 7 years
only beta males compliment girls
deletedover 7 years
ling gave me some coaching and said i shuold call podsn adn ellie fat cows nt worthy of my time
deletedover 7 years

Heist says


Antidote says

Pick Blister or Forrest the rest of these guys are dorks


read what you just said


i think it's a perfectly valid statement
deletedover 7 years

ling says

careful pseudo intellectual


ill CC u into the PM chain once i blast my baby batter