Nearbeer begrudgingly fires up his email, asking if anyone could send him a copy of the syllabus. While he's on his computer, he checks the ticketing system of the school's suicide help website. Overflowing, as he expected, since the school year has just started. The first thing Nearbeer does is delete all 12 tickets sigh sent last night.
From the front of the queue, he starts reading. The first ticket is by CoryInConstantinople, who is distressed that she did not get into Sandbox Univsersity like all of her friends. She feels like she is missing out on all of the fun and adds that she hates communists. Nearbeer assures her that there are plenty of opportunities outside of college, such as working at a register, or in the local mafia. He encourages her to keep trying to get into college, too.
Dooze pulls out her flask in class. She doesn't understand why she is taking a first-year level biology class in her third year of university. She studies animals and loves it very much. She smiles and takes a sip of her drink. She's not really certain to what it is because she has burnt her taste buds off from drinking so frequently. What she does not realize is that her roommate, *SLOT OPEN PLZ ROOM WITH ME*, switched out the alcohol and filled up the flask with water. She swipes through her tinder profile wondering why so many middle aged men super like her.
deletedover 7 years
i take blisters hand in mine and we raise them to the sky as our donkey di.cks lay flaccid on the table
Platy had biology and bigfootology classes to go to but he slept through them. it was a long drive here from canada and he was dead tired, plus he had a gig playing guitar in his band The Platypodes tonight at the campus auditorium and he wanted to be rested.
deletedover 7 years
i wait for my grindr date in my dorm
deletedover 7 years
Collokey jumps back at the last second, snatching the switchblade out of the penguin's flipper.
"Who gave you this?" He stuffed the penguin back into the bucket, snapping the lid back in place. "You're in time out."
Inside the μεμε frat house, there lied 2 sophomore students in a 4-person bedroom. Both are signing up for their classes on the very first day of classes.
Obito: Algebraic Topology... Differential Geometry... Relativistic QFT... General Relativity... String Theory... At the rate at which I'm taking graduate classes, I'd have nothing but research by my senior year.
desta: Yo my O-man. If you-
Astonished, Obito interrupts desta abruptly.
Obito: It's- it's- it's my general reqs...
Obito sighs.
Obito: No worries. I merely omitted my Biology req. Taught by Pr. Collokey, a Nobel Laureate in Physiology... Convenient to just show up to the first lecture to get the syllabus and know my classmates then have them tell me whenever assignments and exams are due.
desta: Far out! I'll be your hip left wing! Give me a few moments... signing up now. The first lecture is right now! Onward!
MEANWHILE, IN THE UNIVERSITY'S OCCULT STUDIES WING...
Daniel took one step, then a shimmy and a shake, and then a fluid motion that could only be described as akin to a firm piece of driftwood being torn in half, and then a final step, into the room. Then with a few skips and a hop, he landed crouched behind his desk. Slowly, he began to rise up, back turned to the classroom.
"Hello, students. My name is Damian Daniel. That's right, 'The Champ' Daniel. Number 72 Daniel. You've all heard of me. You all know me. The big one. The master. The self-styled mystic and musketeer-at-heart." Professor Daniel turned on his heels to the class behind him, striking a pose and brushing his whiskers free of crumbs. "And welcome to my course on Bigfootology."
*jumps out of bucket and slashes Collokey's throat with her switchblade tucked in her flipper*
deletedover 7 years
Herredy gasps as the dog walks in on him naked.
What a day.
Herredy gets onto his knees and begs the intellectually superior dog
"pls tich mi"
deletedover 7 years
Collokey opened the doors to the lecture hall, watching the sad little attempt at a coup as he slowly walked down the stairs to the lectern. He scooped up the penguin in his arms, flippers flailing wildly, eyeing Bane the whole time.
"I suggest you have a seat." He placed the penguin back in the little bucket, giving it a soft pat on the head and a "noot noot."
Little did Collokey know that was only the beginning of the uprising.
Alyssa breathed heavily as she walked into biology class. There a few people were early, as a few more filtered in through the hallways. It was time for the class to end all classes.... biology.
At the front of the classroom she saw a bucket labeled "class pet" as it's name, how sad, as a penguin was happily splashing in the water unknowing of the nearby dissection tools. Alyssa watched as Bane, who for some reason didn't take this generals class yet, ran up to the front of the room and tossed the penguin out of the bucket yelling at her to run. "OVERTHROW THE BIOLOGY BOURGEOISIE, NO MORE WILL WE HAVE TO TAKE INNOCENT ANIMALS LIVES FOR THE SAKE OF SCIENCE!" he shouted at the classroom, albeit a bit out of character, unknowing of collokey walking into the classroom, briefcase in hand.
Alyssa snickered as the class started to murmur. She heard someone whisper "I hate school too but communism? really?" Alyssa walked up to them and whacked them with a hammer and sickle.
"You know nothing, young student. Tonight the proletarians strike" Alyssa said, as she inhaled the air of freedom.
'Get your pants back on before I throw an entire stand and clamp at you, Bane.'
deletedover 7 years
" C'mon bro, I know you like to party" exclaimed Bane under his visor cap.
"At Mu Epsilon Mu Epsilon we throw the sickest parties. We are a true brotherhood and the bond you form here will last forever. We bond over ultimate frisbee, keggers, specialized bartending and all kinds of crazy sh*t bro and its only a small fee. Plus, checkout the sweet tat"
He shows the greek letters μεμε branded on his buttcheek.
"Just come on by to our pledge event on April 22nd. Promise you bro, you'll love it"
Bane gently places a pamphlet on Serveaux's mangled body*
A soft boof from the corner of the lab, then a small dog trots over to Herredy with a paper note in its mouth. It's a bit slobbery, but readable. 'Herredy.' The note reads. 'If you need help then go read your books first. I can't possibly teach the entire thing from scratch.'
Sandbox University Random RP
