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Vatican Vacation

Satan
about 9 years

This is a choose your own adventure game. I will allow 4-5 people to participate at any given time until I run out of ideas for this specific topic.

Several months ago, you journeyed to Europe in search of adventure. The plan was to backpack across the continent, drinking your way through country to country with no agenda but to live life to its fullest, Carpe Diem so they say..

Disappointingly, you've hardly done anything you planned to do, including eating, sleeping, and breathing all of the different amazing cultures.

The only thing you HAVE done is visit a bunch of old crumbled buildings, usually among other tourists. And today—the last day of your trip—is no different.

You’re at the Vatican, looking at the architecture with a tour group.

Your grand European adventure is on the verge of ending, and if you don’t do something soon, your trip will have been for naught.

A) Stray from the tour group and explore by yourself

B) Do calisthenics

C) Do groin stretches

D) Use the Vatican's toilet

justrec
about 9 years

Satan says


justrec says

B

if rutab destroyed the earth how am i having this adventure? am i in a dream sequence


The police bring you back to the pope chambers and you are now back @ square 1.

do you

A) Continue looking for the real pope

B) Stop and just live life as the pope and home no one notices


a
tzin
about 9 years

Satan says

you let him make toilet and he thanks you.

you wait and realize the pope has been gone a long time. do you

A) Go look for him

B) Wait a little longer


i hope the pope himself sees this
B, it takes old people a while to make toilet
Satan
about 9 years

kiIIua says


Satan says

"I need to make toilet," said the Pope.

Well crap what do you do now?

A) Let him to make toilet

B) Tell him he needs to stay put


ew let the pope to his poop


you let him make toilet and he thanks you.

you wait and realize the pope has been gone a long time. do you

A) Go look for him

B) Wait a little longer
Satan
about 9 years

justrec says

B

if rutab destroyed the earth how am i having this adventure? am i in a dream sequence


The police bring you back to the pope chambers and you are now back @ square 1.

do you

A) Continue looking for the real pope

B) Stop and just live life as the pope and home no one notices
tzin
about 9 years

Satan says

"I need to make toilet," said the Pope.

Well crap what do you do now?

A) Let him to make toilet

B) Tell him he needs to stay put


ew let the pope to his poop
justrec
about 9 years
B

if rutab destroyed the earth how am i having this adventure? am i in a dream sequence
Satan
about 9 years

justrec says

are you serious? you make the only good option of the two one that leads to the end of the game? fine, A then i guess. i'll pretend to be the ******* pope like an idiot


"Hey, you there," the guard said. "You didn't let the pope leave, did you?"

"No, because I am the Pope." You say.

"Oh...huh, you look different than usual, your holiness. Well, carry on."

With that, you are the pope now. Pretty exciting...except the adventure is not over yet.

You wait until the guard leaves, and you book it out the door.

You are now looking for the real pope. You're in the street and the police stop you and ask if you're the Pope. You say:

A) No sorry I am not the Pope

B) Yes I am the Pope, take me back to my papal chambers
justrec
about 9 years
are you serious? you make the only good option of the two one that leads to the end of the game? fine, A then i guess. i'll pretend to be the ******* pope like an idiot
Satan
about 9 years

justrec says

B


Are you sure? This may lead you to getting arrested.

A) Yes

B) No, pretend to be the Pope
justrec
about 9 years
B
Satan
about 9 years

justrec says

B


The Pope takes off anyway, he must have really had to go.

A) Pretend to be the Pope and hope no one notices

B) Try and explain to the guard what actually happened
Satan
about 9 years

Sims says

A)


You decide to watch the pope.

A) So you're the Pope, huh?

B) Holy crap, you are the pope

C) Are you really the Pope, God's vice president?
justrec
about 9 years

Satan says


justrec says

A


You tell the Pope that he has to stay put.

"I am the Pope, I need to make toilet, please."

A) That is a good point, you may go.

B) Sorry, the guard said you can't leave this room


B
Satan
about 9 years

justrec says

A


You tell the Pope that he has to stay put.

"I am the Pope, I need to make toilet, please."

A) That is a good point, you may go.

B) Sorry, the guard said you can't leave this room
Sims
about 9 years
A)
justrec
about 9 years

Satan says


justrec says


Satan says


justrec says

A


You say (A) "So, you're the Pope, huh"

The Pope nods slyly and raises his hand.

How do you respond to such a thing?

A) Ahem, yes Pope, you have a question?

B) Wow, Pope, you don't have to raise your hand, you are basically the mouthpiece of Our Lord and Savior, please go ahead.



A


"I need to make toilet," said the pope with a strained face.

A) Sorry bub, you gotta stay put.

B) Well, uh...quickly now.




A
Satan
about 9 years

jack says

I knew i liked Lambert. A


You get all drugged up on weird angel drugs and you start hallucinating.

Super exciting.

Probably the most exciting thing to ever happen to someone on a european adventure.

f*ck finding the pope, enjoy spending eternity on crazy angel drugs.

Congrats on living through to the end of this beautiful adventure.

Very exciting stuff.
Satan
about 9 years

Sims says

B


You cry or something and the guard obviously can tell you're incapable of being a murderer.

"Can you watch the freakin' pope for a few mins i gotta use the potty."

A) Yes

B) no
jack
about 9 years

Satan says

Looks like it’s just you and Lambert for the next year. Fr*ck. Where do you even start?

An overwhelming sense of hopelessness begins spreading to every fiber of your being.

Meanwhile, Lambert just sits there and stares at you, breathing loudly through his stuffy nostrils.

A minute or two passes without either of you saying anything, and then Lambert finally breaks the ice.

“We don’t have to do this, you know,” he says quietly. “We could just go get high with some angels.”

Hmm. Interesting.

“Wanna do that instead?”

A) Heck yes

B) Nah


I knew i liked Lambert. A
Sims
about 9 years
B
Satan
about 9 years

jack says

yeah alright, he is my brother after all. B


Looks like it’s just you and Lambert for the next year. Fr*ck. Where do you even start?

An overwhelming sense of hopelessness begins spreading to every fiber of your being.

Meanwhile, Lambert just sits there and stares at you, breathing loudly through his stuffy nostrils.

A minute or two passes without either of you saying anything, and then Lambert finally breaks the ice.

“We don’t have to do this, you know,” he says quietly. “We could just go get high with some angels.”

Hmm. Interesting.

“Wanna do that instead?”

A) Heck yes

B) Nah
jack
about 9 years

Satan says


jack says

eat sh*t lambert, B


Are you sure you want to do this? This may lead to you getting lost in Heaven and never getting home, let alone finding the Pope.

A) Yes

B) No teach Lambert


yeah alright, he is my brother after all. B
Satan
about 9 years

Sims says

A


You stammer nervously, and the kingspopeguard asks if ur a murderer and you say

A) Insist you are not a murderer

B) Cry or something
Sims
about 9 years

Satan says


Sims says

B


You say hi and hope he is a friendly knight.

"Halt! Who goes there?" yelled the knight who is now obviously not a knight but a member of the kingsguard.

A) Stammer nervously

B) Pee your pants, but luckily you are wearing a diaper so it doesn't show!

C) Run away and cry


A
Satan
about 9 years

rutab says

A


Satan agrees to do you a solid if you let him torture you for a "couple years," whatever that means.

You agree to be tortured for what feels like, eternity.

Satan does you a solid and brings you back to Earth.

You discover that earth has disintegrated into anarchy since the Pope went missing.

You have singlehandedly destroyed Earth.

Congratulations I think that counts as an exciting adventure in Europe.