I didn't know him, but I think I recognise the name - I think maybe he was in the original sandbox /v/ games back in 2010.

Either way, it's terrible that someone could be so overwhelmed by their feelings that this would be their only solace. But it's true of so many people in our age group.

Reading some of the posts here, he obviously tried his best to get help, and to grow relationships that might make life better. Maybe they did for a bit.

If anyone else is feeling this way, please, talk about it. I know it's hard to find people you feel you can trust, or to find the words to describe it, but please, try.

I'm happy to listen to anyone who needs to talk. I'm sure most of this site would be, given their response to this thread, and the other responses I've seen to those in need, e.g. RiotKiller a few years back.

My heart skipped a beat when I began to read the original post.

I'll just write as I go: I interacted with Josh very little but I spoke to him in chats a small number of times, especially when we modded here together. Josh seemed to be suffering for the majority of his life from what I now know, yet the impressions I recieved when interacting with him never really led me to believe the above because he never really made his problems the problems of someone else (unless he was very, very close to them, it seems). The fact that this man was able to help others through his own suffering is commendable, for lack of a better word. People like this are blessed by God and possess truly wonderful gifts.

As humans, it is natural to have a variety of feelings at the onset of bad news such as the loss of a friend or family member. However, it is important for all of us to not only simply mourn Josh's death, but to celebrate his life. Life is truly magnificent, and some of us are sadly unlucky in it and experience things which no one should ever have to during our time in this world.

Josh was one of these unlucky people. Josh was a strong man who made others stronger. But his weight was too heavy, and now the soul of Josh has passed on. Let us remember the life of Josh, and celebrate Josh for who he was and what he did--a kind hearted person with caring intentions and time for all who needed help. May he rest in peace.

I cannot find Josh's final goodbye in the link provided in the original post. I would like to read it; if anybody has it please share it with me if you would be so kind. Thank you.

This post has been edited for the purpose of adding onto it.

I Really Have No Idea What To Say, I Talked To Gary A Couple Times In Games And They Seemed Really Nice And I Always Wanted To Approach Them To Be Actual Friends, But.. Mah, They Were A Good Person. Rest In Peace, It's Saddening That This Is The Way They Went.

I love you Gary. <3 I'll miss you on here.

Past months i was not part of the community, but i respect pretty much every player here, even if i have never met them. So all i can say is time doesn't matter, because i already know you all. I knew Josh too.

All i am trying to say is , sorry, i just learned about the sad news, so even with a late date, i wish your best in the afterlife. Rest In Peace.

damn.

hope you found your peace josh. you'll be missed by many.

This probably will be one of my rare serious posts that doesn't contain sarcastic comments or anything.

I remember when Gary once fooled me in the mod chat back in then by making a redirect link about something related to mod tools when I said I wasn't going to click his links, ever.

I actually don't have a lot to say. Mainly because I have a dislike on saying good-bye and I don't like to make things look dramatic.

I haven't really talked to him outside mod chat, he wasn't the most person I have liked but I had a huge respect on how much work he had put in.

Everyone has their own problems and I'm unsure if Eris was aware of it, there isn't a single person I know who isn't going through various problems. Some might be small cases, and some might be a big one. For one, I know that I had one of the worst possible childhood someone could have went through (which I prefer to keep the details to myself), but you have to stay strong. There are many beautiful things in life that will happen, if not anytime soon, it eventually will. I know that is true as I experience it.

I know not everyone can be really strong, perhaps like me, but please do try your best to stay strong. Don't give up. There are countless people who are very willing to help you and be your friend that you can't imagine - you just have to find them.

Lastly, rest in peace Eris. I hope your solution has brought the peace you have always wanted.

This probably went a little off topic... But I felt the need to say for the people who are suffering for it.

~ Ediz

I come back to occasionally lurk and troll sometimes but this is a pretty saddening thing to come back to. Gayoak was one of the first people I met on this site when i was just fifteen years old trolling training under hayygabenewell. My favorite memory is easily when we decided to dox Mastaknarf over banning utahraptor which eventually led me to a happy and still-lasting relationship with Knarf, so thanks, Gayoak for helping me find a happiness that I have had for nearly three years

Wow this is shocking news. Always remember SITD games until 3am in the morning with the power couples. :( Once you are happy now bud

It's been years and years since I've really been on here regularly. I never knew him personally, but I remember playing with GaryOak a decent amount and always found him to be pretty funny, even if a bit frustrating sometimes, and this is truly sad. RIP Josh.

I'm so sorry Josh... I know we didn't really talk a whole lot, but I remember playing with you and you always made me laugh. You wrote me a question on my profile a while back and I feel really bad for taking so long to answer it, because maybe we could've talked... I'm sad that you're gone and I'll miss you.

Also, Josh was the type of guy who you could talk to for hours and hours and he would always respond and put up with whatever you were going through. He bought me tokens and games on steam, gave me this account and gave me moderator access like a champ. He was a true friend who would do anything for you. I am going to sorely miss him.

Josh. Oh my God. I just read about this on facebook. This brings me huge sorrow. You were such a caring, amazing friend who would do anything for anyone. I'm going to miss our chats and your advice. Seriously. I can't even write what I want to write I'm so sad.
I would say you were one of my best em friends. I send love to his family and friends. R.I.P Gary. I was hoping to meet you one day xx

It's been years since I've been here, but thankfully my ex pointed me back here.

I spoke with GaryOak years ago regarding his depression. I was using my original account, billking, back then, that's how long ago we're talking. I felt like, in the matter of less than an hour, I had made a real impact on his life. I never knew his name was Josh (or if I did, I forgot), but I felt very good about myself.

Probably too good about myself. I would make small talk about it with coworkers as I moved from job to job. "This one time I stopped a guy on the Internet from killing himself." Josh was an anonynous character in anecdotes I'd tell people to brag.

So he sought therapy and medication, and although I was probably his friend for all of an hour, he found real and, let's be honest, better friends in the community here. I want to tell myself, even now, that my conversation with him did something. Maybe led him to bond with this community more. Maybe led him towards putting it off a few years.

As Jules says in Pulp Fiction, I'd like to believe that, but that's not the truth. I didn't do enough, and I felt proud of myself for the pittance I did do.

I was the right guy, in the right place, at the right time, but I didn't follow up. At all. I'm sorry, GaryOak. I really am.

I may have not known him, or know the extent of his past but neither of those things matter. I am so deeply saddened by this. Knowing someone felt such sadness and hurt to end their lives is the saddest thing. My heart goes out to his loved ones. RIP Josh.

cloud i went and stalked your profile bc long time no see and I saw this post from lucid. and its probably a good idea to rehash that.

lucidrains says

sometimes life isn't about getting laid or being successful; it's also about having a close relationship with people you resonate with. if you are suffocating from a lack of purpose in life, at the very least you can find some purpose just by being nice to each other. but the worst thing you can do is buy into the mentality that society wants you to have, because ultimately it is designed to make you unhappy.

Hi, I'm sad. Josh, we were never too close and we really went at each other for a while there. But then we got over it and things were better. I haven't been around for a while and I haven't seen or heard from you for a good little while and I guess that I won't be able to ever again. I liked you though. You were always fun to see on the forums and it was fun to try to mess with you sometimes, in small little ways. I'm sorry I wasn't around more in the last 2 years and I'm sorry I never really talked with you outside of the site, I think it would have been fun.

My favorite memory of you is secret santa a few years back. It was the first SS here at EM and it was a complete mess for me, something difficult about sending packages to South America when you don't have an address. I wasn't really expecting much and much to my surprise my gifts were signed with "Josh." You gave me a basketball and a doggy toy bunny. The basketball is kinda funny since I hate basketball and was never any good at it. I loved the bunny though, I still have it sitting in my room at home somewhere.

I liked that whenever I came back to EM for a visit, I would see you or hear about you. I guess that's true for this time too, but now it's not a happy visit.

I'm crying a little, but R.I.P.
I hope wherever you are, there are some bunnies at least to keep you company.

RIP :(

i'm sorry things got left the way they did, josh. maybe you'll find peace now.

i'm glad i was here too. would've been awful to come back some day and he was just gone.

u know, and i don't mean to say i don't think an awful lot of a whole lot of u guys with this, because i do, but this place is probably different for me forever now. but it's like, well, just when i came back this time i was looking for garyoak's current profile so i could 'go nostalgia'. and we never really hit it off hugely i know, but i respected him hugely. i actually tried to get his skype off him one time, but he refused me, asking was i coming onto him, then maintained i was coming onto him after that. which i was, really, jokingly, lol. and then i played coy with him there only recently, refusing him my skype because he'd refused me, and that was definitely dumb lol, but i regret it hugely ... i didn't know him so well or intimately at least as a lot of u dudes did, but i would've loved to, and i feel both tremendously sorry for those of u who did and a little bit stupid for being so depressed by all this. i dunno, i've lost a lot of people in a short time, i guess. or maybe i'm an overly sentimental dude anyway. either way, i'm sorry; it doesn't really change things. i've never lost anyone on the internet before tho and i must say it feels a little bit like i'm sitting alongside a headstone or something now. like, i'm at a loss for compartmentalisation or w/e. it's like having lost an immediate family member, in a small little bit of a way. maybe that's just ridiculous tho. man i am f*cking sad lol. gary oak was one clever f*cking dude

RIP <3 ):

RIP man

agentzero says

Orly says

have to say, that was a pretty cool death message, garyoak.

oh you win the day

I'd be mad, but that'd probably make him chuckle

Orly says

have to say, that was a pretty cool death message, garyoak.

oh you win the day