if someone doesn't ask or answer a question in their post you can ignore it and just respond to the last question
deletedabout 9 years
So I got one dig or whatever, and then I flipped the frick out. I leveled like three of them then and there, not lying lol, then whatever it all got broke up because it was in a bar, and now we're all out in the street, and I'm pretty much just daring anyone else to come have a go....Ends up, I'm king of that town for the night. I'm apologising to the dude's sister, telling her the story, and she's hot, and she's wet even talking to me....And I'm probably thinking man I can throw some serious insult in with injury here...tbh, tbh...but then my mates decide they want to fight with each other, because I guess they're all full up of tension having been expecting a brawl which didn't end up coming, and now I'm having to go play mediator...
deletedabout 9 years
One night when I was like 21 or something I went up into this town for some celebration. Can't remember what it was tbh. Actually, I'd guess it was someone's birthday, but I can't remember whose. Or it might have been a going away party too, and now I think I can remember whose. Anyway...
There was this guy above there....And I'd given him a bit of a hammering not so long beforehand because I'd caught him bullying my cousin. Small little dude--my cousin, that is; been born premature and was always kinda slight for it, although not so much anymore. So I guess I didn't appreciate that.
Anyway, it was his town, his hometown or whatever--this dude. And I guess with the drink in him and all his mates and brothers and cousins and whatever around, he figured he'd have a go at getting a revenge on me....But that wasn't happening.
You don't have to be king (or queen) of the world. That's actually a common hang-up people have. Other people come to be a torment for them, in their always being left behind them, looking on after them. It's sort of the inverse of the pleasure taken in schadenfreude, actually; what schadenfreude exists to counteract. Nobody wants to be the butt of the joke. If you're a male and a virgin, you're laughed at, because that pretty much amounts to being the butt of the joke. If you're not, if you ever manage to have kids, you're probably going to name your firstborn after yourself in some incredibly self-centered act of self-creation. I mean, did you guys know that people will actually take less in life - like, of food, money, whatever - just so long as they have more than the next person? They'll give up actual well-being for a sickly well-being relative to others around them. That's how ingrained this stuff is.
And then the midlife crisis comes along, and all those idiots who'd been playing king of the world get a taste of death again. They forgot, they'd gotten so wrapped up in the others around them, their tormentors, maybe hoping they could climb up from hell on their backs....But they couldn't. And the idiot afraid to really look around jumps back into all that old nonsense, back into all that nonsense which he figured would make him king back in his younger days: fast cars, beautiful, young women, maybe he'll throw away his job too as well as his wife and kids...And for nothing.
Just take it easy, I think. Make an art of it. It's not a competition and you don't need to be the best. That's just a tension you've been dealing with all your life - the crush of capitalism, basically. But life's easier than all that. And it's beautiful too, so don't miss it for dumb worries. Anyway, I didn't really want to post that first time round for fear it'd be taken the wrong way... but just take it easy.
deletedabout 9 years
I know that feel steph, I really do. Going through that now myself. You aren't alone in that field <3
A friend of mine reminds me of a deep blue almost black because they are always so negative. You try to make a positive or point out a positive in them and they come right back with a negative retort. They aren't depressed or anything. They just aren't a positive person tbh.
What kind of sickness have you lied about so you could get out of work/school?
I'm a magnet for crises. The last existential crisis I had was probably this past Sunday. I was looking through Facebook and looking at profiles of kids I know from highschool or that I stopped talking to in middle school, some of them are parents or have met someone or are starting their careers, getting their first car/apartment, just moving on with their lives. And it just started making me think about my own life and the things I have yet to accomplish and feeling like I will never accomplish these things and wondering why I even exist, what purpose I could possibly serve in the world. I just felt completely stuck in a day to day routine of someone who doesn't know how to grow up, who doesn't know their strengths and how to utilize them. This is not to say that I WANT all of the things that I see others have, like kids, but I want to know what it feels like to put effort and passion into something that will have an effect on your future. And I don't know where to start with that, and school doesn't really matter because I've been going downhill in that department and I guess it just really bums me out and makes me feel worthless.
I apologize for the negative vibes in that whole spiel. I went off on a few tangents, but just being honest.
Who is someone that reminds you of the color blue? And what about them reminds you of that color?
deletedabout 9 years
They're frightening, to be honest, and I nearly believe in them too. I should probably finish Crime and Punishment.
deletedabout 9 years
I'm feeling a small bit of it right now too tbh. Takes a while for me to pull my head back together afterwards. I swear, it's like I have to prove the everyday world to myself again after. Even the smallest things, a mate going off about his own business, any little hint of a **normal** thought process and I'm good. Just so long as it's not all my reckoning.
deletedabout 9 years
Maybe that's more schizophrenia than existential crisis too, lol. I am sane though but for such absolute world-bending experiences as I had yesterday.
deletedabout 9 years
I had one yesterday after smoking weed with this new mate of mine. They're kinda hard to describe, honestly I reckon if I could get one down on paper in any way relatable I'd be looking at a modern classic. Or maybe I should just go finish off Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment already...
Anyway, what I reckon they are is: I had a mate OD and die not so long ago, coming up on 2 years now....but he was one of a pair of identical twins, and I used take all sorts of drugs with him all the time, the two of them, used smoke weed all the time with them. And I mean that's a trip in itself to begin with, right?--the identical twins bit? But after that I cleaned up my act; we all kinda did; but I guess it's still kinda haunting.
Now when I smoke weed, I go some place. To a sort of world behind the world. It's kinda like in Lolita where H.H. gets sort of thinking the whole world is talking directly to him, thinking that there are demons following him around the place, wondering if there's not some intuitive genius in him creating what he experiences for him....I get guilt, pretty much crushing guilt, a parade of dead loved ones walked before me..."I'm seeing ghosts in everything I do", basically, to steal a line from Sia. And I just keep doing it, guess I'm a glutton for punishment. Or I don't even know what, lol.
Otherwise I'm high and dry though. I'd wonder if it's like a sort of compartmentalisation or what, maybe a sort of obeisance I've manufactured for myself to take every once in a while. Or maybe my mortality is coming into it big time having seen that mate die I guess. Man, they're a small torture though whatever they are. And so real.
Anyone else? lol.
deletedabout 9 years
Tie another cat to my back and float around the city
Describe the latest existential crises you had
deletedabout 9 years
I studied without playing EpicMafia in the process :O
mi·nor ˈmīnər/Submit adjective adjective: minor 1. lesser in importance, seriousness, or significance. "minor alterations" synonyms: slight, small; More antonyms: major, important 2. MUSIC (of a scale) having intervals of a semitone between the second and third degrees, and (usually) the fifth and sixth, and the seventh and eighth. (of an interval) characteristic of a minor scale and less by a semitone than the equivalent major interval. (of a key or mode) based on a minor scale, tending to produce a sad or pensive effect. "Concerto in A minor" 3. LOGIC (of a term) occurring as the subject of the conclusion of a categorical syllogism. (of a premise) containing the minor term in a categorical syllogism. noun noun: minor; plural noun: minors; plural noun: the minors 1. a person under the age of full legal responsibility. synonyms: child, infant, youth, adolescent, teenager, boy, girl; More antonyms: adult 2. MUSIC a minor key, interval, or scale. BELL-RINGING a system of change-ringing using six bells. noun: Minor 3. NORTH AMERICAN the minor leagues in a particular professional sport, especially baseball. "he's been pitching in the minors for six years" 4. NORTH AMERICAN a college student's subsidiary subject or area of concentration. "a minor in American Indian studies" 5. LOGIC a minor term or premise. 6. BRIDGE short for minor suit. verbNORTH AMERICAN verb: minor; 3rd person present: minors; past tense: minored; past participle: minored; gerund or present participle: minoring 1. study or qualify in as a subsidiary subject at college or university.
