Life's pretty nuts dudes, lol. It's all about stealing quietness.
deletedabout 9 years
Oh, and a little bit to troll foxie, because she never answers my questions lol.
deletedabout 9 years
And your old grandfather dies. He used sit you up on his huge belly, the strongest man around, guarding you from the hot stove by his powerful left hand.....And the hole it leaves. You'd taken it for granted, but the security you'd taken in the man all your life is something enormous. All of a sudden it's as if you're about to collapse in on top of yourself.
And then you're grown up. When you're humbled. When you finally learn just how much people have meant to you. How weak you’ve been, despite all the lies you’ve told yourself.
And then you think to start to pray. Because maybe there isn't really anything besides. It was all a mad game you were playing.
And after that, you’re just pretty lost, to be honest. Or I am anyway. I mean it was all biological imperative, right? What, have I been beaten? What sense to religion when it’s all a fight to survive? Where is my angel?
deletedabout 9 years
It is cathartic, Jimbei.
You know, Troll keeps talking about learning to be an adult, but that isn't really a thing. I'm the same as I've always been, only maybe I'm coming to terms with things now. But that's not becoming an adult.
I said I was a Christian earlier, but that's a new thing. I remember, back a long time ago now, I was like 12 or what, but I got my first black eye over some other kid slagging my mother and me having been a hothead... And I was supposed to be altar serving that night too, but the black eye hardly allowed for it, did it? Anytime I think back on it now, it's like it was a falling out with God for me.
Then sh*t happens. You go to a sort of war, like what Fight Club talks about, a sort of spiritual war....And it's all violence and tension, some nights you break down, just want to hug yourself into the big moosey's t*ts....It was all a lie, you're weak, the steroids took your balls....lol at that movie, to be quite honest. But you fight on. And then more sh*t happens. You set a bad example. A little cousin kills himself, wraps a plastic bag around his head... Imagine the strength that took. Reminds me of Heath Ledger's being the world's most perfect bad guy, perfectly capturing the essence of it, then killing himself although he has all the power in the world. And your uncle blames you. What did it mean to live well? To be a b*stard? To conquer others? To reign king over some mad, violent world? And all love is love of power, or to be weak and to be coddled in it.
deletedabout 9 years
Attention.
Favorite lobby spammer?
deletedabout 9 years
A EM trophy(I don't care enough now)
Why do people spam in forums?
deletedabout 9 years
So she's biting my lip while we're kissing, almost as if feeding off me. It was mad passion, lol....I honestly hardly even knew what to make of it at the time. How the frick did I get this girl so hot?
And soon enough we're outside in the street, in this doorway, on a stop to me taking her home with me....And damn, her friends come along lol. So she goes off with them, gets dragged off by them, and she's trying to drag me with them too, but I'm in a tracksuit, no way I'm getting into the club, and here's my mate anyway yadda yadda...
So she's gone.
Next morning I wake up and I have like 10 missed calls from this girl from at the time the club would've closed...
I just left it. But that's all only kinda part and parcel of what I have my doubts about, lol.
Happy Halloween, mates!
deletedabout 9 years
I don't really have an answer for that. Or if I do, it's not really a wish, but rather all doubts.
My mind's gone straight to girls, lol....Well, I was in a kinda club/late bar one night with a mate of mine from when I was doing my apprenticeship. We were watching this soccer match or whatever, just having a few drinks, wearing tracksuits, no plans of making a night of it or whatever.
But it got lively.
So there we are drinking, and we're getting more and more drunk, and it's getting to be a bit of a laugh. Sound mate, too, tbh. Complete scumbag, though.
But this girl knocks his drink at one point. Completely by accident, but she bumps into him and the whole thing goes up in the air. And my mate is getting mad. Don't know why he couldn't just brush it off or whatever, and I mean she was so beautiful too lol...What was his plan?
But I stepped in and shut him up. I bought him another drink, and bought her a drink too for his being such a wanker.
And she loves me for it; back to what I was saying earlier....Probably isn't any better way to find yourself in love than as an escape from violence. It's actually a dirty little trick you can use to get women if you have a wingman too (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air calls it the 'Chivalry Joint'; The Wire makes a bit of it too with Bunk and McNulty), but I swear I did it completely by accident...
I wish I could take things more serious sometimes, and while I do have moments where I can genuinely be serious about something even then it's in a light mood. It's like I know deep inside to myself that I don't care too much about anything enough where I am genuinely interested in it and while it's great for social aspects, I feel like I'm not ready to 'grow up' and take on the responsibilities of being an adult completely yet. But I also know my feelings towards these things will never change and I'll just adapt my behavior to fit in whatever environment I'm in without really caring about the environment. Idk, maybe that sounds weird.
What's one thing you wish you pursued but never did?
deletedabout 9 years
i went to the mall with my sister today and it was really great cause we hardly get any bonding time =) so it was nice stealing all the free samples, and buying popcorn but not watching a movie together
What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will?
wrapping up little bones for my dog and hiding them among the presents under the tree so she can have fun finding them and unwrapping them with us.
are you annoyed when people do christmas stuff too early? (looks at pot)
deletedabout 9 years
My medieval princess costume was the one that first came to mind. I was fascinated with the medieval period of history as a child, and I was in love with that costume as it looked like a real princess dress. My Tinker Bell costume would also be up there on the list. My mom made it by hand for me and it was so beautiful.
What is your favourite Christmas tradition (or, if you don't celebrate Christmas, what is your favourite winter activity)?
Um, I don't remember having any genuinely fond memories as a kid. But in middle school my fond memories consisted of me reading books a lot, and me and my sister bonding at 2am when we shared a room.
Yes, I am ready for Halloween, been ready since the 1st.
What was your all time favorite halloween costume?
