"Hobothehero is actually 2 billion years old, but unfortunately it doesn't go that high. Hobothehero started being a hobo 2 billion years ago."

• Hobothehero, when asked to comment on his life.

"Hobothehero is widely regarded as a hobo... and a hero."

• Hobothehero, when asked to comment on his involvement in American Civil War.

"Hobothehero has over 12 billion dollars earnt over the course of his life, mostly in 2008/09"

• Hobothehero when questioned at the UN Security council on his involvement in the GFC.

"There's only two of us in this room"

• Hobothehero when asked why he refers to himself in thirdperson.