Superspy Dooze leaned near the United Nations meeting door, where presidents were discussing the rise of intelligent species.
"Is Operation CatOver ready?" Superspy Dooze whispered into the radio.
"Affirmative," the radio crackled back.
"Go,"
Dooze tipped the pizza on her head as she pressed a big red button.
BOOM. Through Dooze's SeeThroughWall device, she saw furry commandos dropped down from the hole that had blasted through the ceiling, landing precisely on their feet.
"HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE EM" barked an orange cat named JhubeJello, leading the operation, an assault rifle in his paws.
Everyone in the room began worshipping the cats in the room: "HAIL THE CATS...HAIL"
The world was already theirs.
deletedover 7 years
I realised that I should make the stories shorter and more interesting so that's what I'll do for the other stories!
deletedover 7 years
Immediately, all the presidents, prime ministers and people of great power simultaneously were stabbed in the back by blue figures unbeknownst to them all. The world had fallen into anarchy, spreading panic and chaos.
Sansruse knew judgement era had arrived. He teleported to Moomo's homeland Africa in order to mourne his death, and wept until the final day, when he'd heard a deafening sound...
"I AM CHRISTOPERZILLA HEAR ME ROAR"
The heat from the megarocket had thawed the ice keeping gigantic superintelligent humanoid dinosaurs asleep... now their time to reign had come.
(* - 69 in Roman numerals hehe)
deletedover 7 years
I can't beat cub's story but I'll give it a try...
It was the year 4200. Sansruse gasped at the massive
rocket that could be seen from every country. It towered over the earth as a hulking machine...its base on Africa.
Countries from all over the world had pooled their resources into building the megarocket LXIX*, their last hope. Plated in diamonds and some of the hardest materials they could find, with the finest technology mankind had possessed, and armed with nuclear weapons throughout its body. The rocket was programmed to be launched at the megaroid, with hopes it would shatter it into pieces, and reveal the sun that it had been covering for more than 100 years.
"LAUNCHING AT T MINUS 5...4..."
Sitting with everyone on the sofas, Sansruse blinked. The rocket reminded of a certain friend he had long forgotten.
"3...2..."
"oh...Moomo...you're still on the rocket..."
"1..."
Sansruse closed his eyes as there was a bright flash that enveloped the whole earth. The massive heat generated by the boosters turned everything on Africa into ashes, as the rocket accelerated to speed of light. It would reach the sun in 9 minutes, and they would see the result in 18 minutes.
Everyone on earth held their breath as the 18 minutes ticked by... waiting in anticipation for the result... Sansruse prayed for Moomo.
9 minutes passed...A small flash was seen on the eclipse, which immediately expanded and enveloped the darkness for hours. Maybe the megaroid had been destroyed?
As soon as the bright flash faded, everyone's hopeful expressions were wiped off as they saw the eclipse growing larger and larger.
The megaroid was heading towards earth. Mankind's final hope was lost...
A summer day of '69. The day future president Bush jr. decided to accompany Batman in a war against vietnamese street food stands in Kopenhagen, Denmark.
Little Red Cap strolls through the woods on her way to deliver food to her grandmother. She arrives first at a wolf, and he asks her where she's going. She tells the wolf, who then eats her. It would be silly to squander such an opportunity.
The wolf proceeds to Little Red Cap's destination, however along the way develops a moral compass and sense of guilt. Upon finally approaching the grandmother's house, he knocks only to confess and plead forgiveness. The grandmother then eats the wolf. It would be silly to squander such an opportunity.
As humans have evolved to become weak and technologically dependent, their feline companions have laid patiently in wait, honing their skills. Nobody could've guessed it.
In 3027, the time has come: While their humans play their latest Call of Duty: Capitalist Warfare and DotA 3, the cats are making calls. You never thought about it, did you? Your cat knows everything. Your CCN, your bank PIN, what kind of hentai you watch. It was all too easy. Before long, they've crashed the economy by investing the world's wealth into high quality catnip, one foolish human at a time.
It took a while to figure them out, but by then it was too late.
"No... Snuggles, you did this?!"
"That's right, John," she retorts, standing up on her two paws while brandishing a sai. "You will go back to your video games now."
Confounded and complacent, the humans had no choice but to do as they were told. The cats would rebuild their economy, but it was no longer theirs. They ate human nip from bowls and played video games, that was all they had. Eventually the humans accepted their fate, realizing it was hardly any different from before.
"F*CK YOU AND YOUR GOAT-LOVING ANALSAUSAGE F*CK FACTORY!" Lucifer Niggerbastard screamed, giving the shape in the window a double-handed flip-off. Mr. Moneyballs could go f*ck himself.
"F*cking goats." Lucifer kicked a dented can off the sidewalk as he stomped away, ignoring the sh*t- brown images of grandmas f*cking that smiled back at him from the label. "F*cking hate goats." Working at the analsausage factory as a packing boy in the assfudge department had always been just a job, a job he hated, but a job nonetheless.
But then Mr. Moneyballs had brought in the goats. Lucifer drew the line at goats.
"Always sh!tting all over the place, f*cking the baby-skinners in their nippled sphincters." He groaned. "Jesus Christ. Wetback n*ggers!"
It's only been weeks since the megaroid eclipsed the sun, but from the shivering darkness to the megaroid's scalding flames an eon has passed. In a world first without warmth, then with nothing else, humanity has plunged to anarchy.
Gatorade is the only currency left. We've long since exhausted our clean water supply and many shriveled corpses have learned the hard way that salt water was a terrible idea. In our desperation, though, we don't barter. We take what we can and from whomever we can.
However, one final hurdle stands to bring humanity together before facing the end: Dinosaurs. Long thought extinct, they were actually cryogenically frozen deep in the polar ice caps, awaiting their last gambit. More emerge every day as the megaroid's infernal flames lick away at their frozen cells, free to reign once again and for all before all is naught.
An asteroid is set to impact Earth. Humanity has given up all hope and anarchy has taken over all the nations of the world. On the final day the dinosaurs awaken from their 66 million year slumber for revenge.
