Epicmafia

Need Opinions

deletedalmost 11 years

So guys, this topic is going to be kind of personal. I'm at sort of a crossroads in my life and I need third-party opinions from people who are not my friends and family....

Basically, the situation is this: live in Germany, have been living here for 5 years, but am American, and was born in America. It's too long a story to explain here, so pm if you want to know more. I'm a senior in high school, going to an international school, expecting to graduate soon. I'm in the process of applying to colleges, and am almost done, but I have a simple but really difficult question to answer....where should I go to college?

The reason why this is difficult is that my family will not be returning stateside should I choose to attend uni in the U.S. They will stay in Europe, I don't know how long but it will be a few years before they return, and they are very concerned about me being an ocean away as a freshman in college. This isn't like going from east to west coast - this is two different continents we're talking about, each with their own cultures, geo-political structures and societies. They want me to attend college in Europe, but as much as I love Europe, I'm ready to go home. Money won't be an issue, so I can go anywhere I want (in the U.S.) but I'll still be alone wherever I go. So while I'm excited to return, this big gap is starting to make me doubt and question my desire to return to America. I need imput from others already in college. I'll be so far from family, but I'll have the chance to start a new life back home fresh.

So....do I go home to the U.S., or stay with my family in Europe?

EDIT: I'd also like to clarify that I'm not some rich billionaire. My family and I are part of the middle class, so while I will be able afford to attend a reasonably price college (or the average) choosing where I go will still be a big decision because I won't be always able to afford to go home (for thanksgiving or christmas etc)

Should I stay in Europe, or go back to the U.S.?

Europe

United States

deletedalmost 11 years

Peta says

Empire says

Peta says

If Smorlicious's family or some other institution is paying his tuition for him, which appears to be the case, then this isn't relevant.

You literally quoted the part where I said "Although you said money is not an issue", excepting Smor. It was pointing out what I deemed bad advice in Flux's statements that DIDN'T apply to Smor.

Empire says

Don't do this.

And the education part, does, indeed, tackle something related to Smor.

deletedalmost 11 years

DrJackShephard says

Smorlicious says

I'm not spoiled. I''m not f-ing rich. I'm here only because my dad works for the U.S. government.

Why not have this discussion with your parents or close friends? Maybe other people in your situation? Disenchanted trolls on a mafia site are going to crab in a bucket you.

I already did, I want third party opinions as stated in the op

deletedalmost 11 years

Peta says

I'm talking about the support you receive from your family which is totally unlike what you're going on about

Alternatively, you are not really reading the post.

The point is that people rely very much on their family's support system, and the internationals as a whole are often extremely concerned about putting distance between them-not just Smor. In the case of the ones I know, the support system within the dorm itself has been a big help. Although it is not family support, it can still make you feel more at home and ease a lot of your fears.

Again, this probably does not apply to all dorms.

deletedalmost 11 years

just go to the best college regardless of location /end

deletedalmost 11 years

Peta says

Nope. College is a unique and awesome experience if you do it right and it's arguably the most important juncture of your life. If you make your decisions based on your subsequent career and wind up with a bad short-term experience then not only will you be unhappy in the present but you will likely have damaged your odds at a prosperous and pleasant future. You're not going to do well if you're miserable.

Yes, but in the scenario described in the OP, there will be many different elements that contribute to personal satisfaction. For instance, distance from family, worry of selecting incorrect location, peers, cultural norms, education standards, etc. The list is vast. I don't think that Smor will be completely satisfied no matter where he goes at this point, so there will always be a worry that misery will be prevalent in his daily schedule from time to time.

For this reason, the impetus is more focussed on his personal moral to separate his negative feelings from his positive ones, as neither of the options are COMPLETELY ideal. At this point, it's best to select whichever scenario will give him the better perspective and understanding that will be industrious towards the larger parts of his life, not to mention the fact that he will need to make the most of his studies. Ultimately, I'm sure that wherever he goes, he'll be able to replicate the humble experience that university can offer, as per your criteria of how idyllic it can be.

ling

almost 11 years

The advice that i wanted to say has been said a few times, but just keep in mind that if you choose to stay and even if you're perfectly happy, theres always going to be this niggling temptation to experience american colleges (at least that is for me)

ArieI

almost 11 years

Do you have any extended family that still live in the States? If you're worried about being far from your direct family, then it might be worth getting in touch with them, and maybe looking at colleges around there.

DrJackShephard

almost 11 years

Smorlicious says

I'm not spoiled. I''m not f-ing rich. I'm here only because my dad works for the U.S. government.

Why not have this discussion with your parents or close friends? Maybe other people in your situation? Disenchanted trolls on a mafia site are going to crab in a bucket you.

Peta

almost 11 years

Empire says

Peta says

If Smorlicious's family or some other institution is paying his tuition for him, which appears to be the case, then this isn't relevant.

You literally quoted the part where I said "Although you said money is not an issue", excepting Smor. It was pointing out what I deemed bad advice in Flux's statements that DIDN'T apply to Smor.

Empire says

Don't do this.

deletedalmost 11 years

Peta says

If Smorlicious's family or some other institution is paying his tuition for him, which appears to be the case, then this isn't relevant.

You literally quoted the part where I said "Although you said money is not an issue", excepting Smor. It was pointing out what I deemed bad advice in Flux's statements that DIDN'T apply to Smor.

Peta

almost 11 years

Empire says

At my college there's an extremely good support system and almost sense of family within the dorm, but I can see this not being the case elsewhere, particularly in larger and/or less social colleges. The internationals I've talked to have all voiced similar concerns as you in their concern as to the distance between them and their family, but they all are extremely happy here and have found more comfort than they expected. Again, I am not sure if this is the case elsewhere.

I'm talking about the support you receive from your family which is totally unlike what you're going on about

ColdLayer

almost 11 years

Get a loan = Money problem solved

deletedalmost 11 years

I'm not spoiled. I''m not f-ing rich. I'm here only because my dad works for the U.S. government.

Peta

almost 11 years

Empire says

Although you said money is not an issue lines like these are what get people crippling student debt.

If Smorlicious's family or some other institution is paying his tuition for him, which appears to be the case, then this isn't relevant.

deletedalmost 11 years

Peta says

I have several friends who came to the US for college from Europe or Asia and they loved it. It largely depends on how independent a person you are. I chose to go to a college that's less than a two-hour drive from home, so I never had to worry about long stretches on my own should I get homesick or need the support of my family. If you think that won't be an issue for you then there you have it. You'll still be able to return to Germany during long breaks.

Go with your gut.

At my college there's an extremely good support system and almost sense of family within the dorm, but I can see this not being the case elsewhere, particularly in larger and/or less social colleges. The internationals I've talked to have all voiced similar concerns as you in their concern as to the distance between them and their family, but they all are extremely happy here and have found more comfort than they expected. Again, I am not sure if this is the case elsewhere.

Honestly I'd gauge it based on how crippling your fear of being separated from your family is. If your entire life revolves around your family's support system to the extent that you cannot see yourself doing anything without them, then yeah that's going to be pretty challenging. If your fear is medium to low, just nervous about the prospect, with some doubt but not necessarily "I can't, no way" then I would personally say go for it and come to the US.

ColdLayer

almost 11 years

DrJackShephard says

"Spoiled kid can't decide which continent he wants to take a four year vacation on, more news at 11."

DrJackShephard

almost 11 years

"Spoiled kid can't decide which continent he wants to take a four year vacation on, more news at 11."

deletedalmost 11 years

Go with what will make you happy. I'd say the u.s but I don't get homesick. Also if you can afford any university in the u.s then I'm sure you can afford a plane ticket back to Europe for the month most colleges get off for winter break.

Peta

almost 11 years

Smorlicious17m 5s
Money won't be an issue,

DrJackShephard

almost 11 years

Why even bother with stressing yourself out over this if money isn't an issue? If it's strictly for the experience go with the choice that sounds like the most fun.

Peta

almost 11 years

Shut up forever Empire you're a freshman in college

deletedalmost 11 years

Well if we're going to bring affordability into this, America wins hands down. If we're going to talk quality, I think depending on where I go, Europe and America are equal.

Peta

almost 11 years

Harrold says

Flux says

Don't do what's going to benefit you professionally if it's really going to bother you.

It may be a great opportunity, but if you are not going to be happy during those years, I wouldn't go through with it.

Go where you feel safest and where you feel most satisfied. Forget about the money or the education for a second. Think of where you'll be happiest. That is where you go.

This is bad advice.

Your education only makes up for a very small part of your life. You may not find the satisfaction which Flux describes where you are studying, but it is such an insignificant time period that it does not matter.

Nope. College is a unique and awesome experience if you do it right and it's arguably the most important juncture of your life. If you make your decisions based on your subsequent career and wind up with a bad short-term experience then not only will you be unhappy in the present but you will likely have damaged your odds at a prosperous and pleasant future. You're not going to do well if you're miserable.

deletedalmost 11 years

American education lol

deletedalmost 11 years

Peta says

Flux is pretty much dead on

Not at this point in his life. Flux is dead on with regard to the grander picture.