3. You buy a helicopter and have quite the joyful time giving away your money. However, Lucid somehow remembered you beating him up and taking his money, even though you figured he was dead. Lucid is out for revenge, and hires an army to shoot a missile at your helicopter. You are royally screwed...or are you? The missile is firing at you, what do you do?

1. Move juuuuust a little bit to the left where the missile is not going to hit you.
2. Throw the remaining money at the missile in hopes of stopping the missile from hitting your helicopter.
3. Jump at the missile in hopes of sacrificing yourself to save the money and the helicopter.

2. The deal seemed very tempting (Because you were in search for the all-father anyway) and you almost decided to pay this cheapskate $39.95 for what may be a rip-off. Instead your brilliant mind concocts a brilliant plan, you would decline his offer, rob him, and come back the next day to pay him with his own money. He wouldn't remember! You proceed to beat that little cheapskate up and rob his money. Apparently he was carrying $1,000,000,000. You are now rich! You leave him on the ground bleeding and walk away. What do you do at night to wait for the next day?

1. Find a 5 star hotel and celebrate your new billionaire status.
2. Find a stripper bar and celebrate your new billionaire status.
3. Buy a helicopter and throw from the air half of your money to everyone till daytime.

1. In a sudden moment of clarity, your past life and experiences, before your arrival in hell, come back to you. You realize how totalitarian Kino in your lifetime was. Comparisons with Adolf Hitler were made and because of this sudden epiphany, you accept the change and go about your merry way with your breakfast. After consuming your food swiftly and with the most vigor, you come upon a soothsayer who says he can talk to Lucid, the all-father, to bring you back to life, once again. What do you do?

1. Accept his offer, for 4 payments of $39.95 he will bring you to Lucid.
2. Decline his offer, and rob him.
3. Decline his offer and leave.

3) Grab her hand and profess your love.

She's just so beautiful, and you can't help yourself. She looks at you in disgust, and shows you her wedding ring. Heartbroken, you vow to win her heart.

What do you do?

1) Realise this is really stupid
2) Propose
3) Walk away

(continued)

Regardless, she registers your order, punches out a receipt, and hands you the change. In this moment, when she is giving you your money, her hand briefly touches yours, and an immense ecstasy is felt throughout your whole body. Never has this happened to you, the simplest touch from the simplest woman has given you the most complex thoughts and the most complex emotions. Perhaps, despite all of her wrongs, all of the wrongs of this purgatory, she is, after all, right for you. This matter is not something you can ponder on, think about, or reconsider. This matter is a fact, and you understand this instantly, faster than the coins dropping from her palm into yours.

With this infatuation in mind, you:

1. say, "Hi, my name is ______!"
2. say, "Oh please, keep the change!"
3. grab her hand and profess your love.
4. run away from your heart and from the cafe.

2. You realize that you are in an afterlife reserved for those who have killed themselves in their former lives. Everything in this place, this limbo, seems bleak and humorless. Even the colors of this place are saturated so that it looks worse than it should be. Without further ado, you head to a nearby roadside cafe, which you spotted when you had awoken in this purgatory. In the cafe, everything appears as they should be, the waitress serving those who are waiting, tired and dirty men eating their tired and dirty breakfast, and the cashier accepting orders and cash.

You head towards the cashier, who looks vaguely similar to Kino, the once Queen of the residence of your prior life. You are puzzled but not phased, and proceed to order a meal. Today, you are eating bacon and eggs with prune juice, a warrior's breakfast. As the order is given, you see in the cashier's undersaturated eyes that this truly is a dead and dreary place. She takes your order with a seamless and well practiced monotone voice, as if she has been doing this for years.

In your heart, you begin to feel a concern for her. She is not remarkably attractive, as is the circumstance of this purgatory. She is not particularly interesting, as a result of her lack of expression, yet in the midst of your body and soul, you feel a longing for her. Perhaps she reminds you of Kino, your once Queen? Perhaps you are dry, emotionally and romantically, and have attached yourself to the first moderately adequate person you've found? Perhaps, despite her blandness and commonalities, such features are what you desire?

(see next post)

4) You look at the mangled lion's body and feel a twinge of remorse for this waste of life. This triggers a flashback of all the people you've killed in the name of the queen. You put the gun in your mouth and fire. Looks like you were in a dream when you died, cuz now its LIMBOOOOO. What do you do.

1) Build a castle and live life there
2) Search for humans in limbo
3) Try and kill yourself again

(Pls get the inception reference)

1. As you walk down the ever long yellow brick road, hallucinating mystical sights and sounds, tasting things in your mouth you've never tasted before, you begin to see an aging lion, slow and weak, limping towards you. You ask the lion what he's doing here and he says that because he lacked a warrior's courage, he had fled from battle and abandoned his comrades in arms. This cowardice was something you could not tolerate, as you had once been in the foxholes and had once breathed and bled with your fellow countrymen. In an instant, it became clear to you that illusion or not, the weakness shown by the cowardly lion was unacceptable to you, unacceptable to your country, and unacceptable to the eyes of the Gods. Without a moment's breath, you draw your pistol and put a round between the lion's eyes, killing him as swiftly as you had reacted to his treachery. Satisfied with the duty you have fulfilled in the name of Queen and country, you:

1. Continue walking down the yellow brick road
2. Deviate from the yellow brick road into the Spooky Forest
3. Stop and deface the lion's corpse
4. Stop and contemplate your murderous actions as of late

1) You ask the locals how to go home and they give you a little cocaine to show you the way. Suddenly a small dog appears next to you and it tells you that you both aren't in Kansas anymore. You suddenly see a yellow brick road and you decide to walk along it. About a mile down the road you run into a weak lion that cries alot, you:

1: Shoot that b!tch in the face
2: Shoot that b!tch in the back of the head

2. Thinking quick and rationally, you decide to depart from the tornado as soon as you are able. However, due to the tornado's immense power, you are still far removed from where you once were. You find yourself inside a destroyed but empty barn. Upon leaving the barn, you discover a body that had been crushed by the barn! A shriek can be heard from afar and soon a group of persons has descended on you, clamoring about the death of the wicked witch. This event is completely unknown to you, as the only thought on your mind is how to return home. What do you do?

1. Ask the locals how to go home (enter the Yellow Brick road)
2. Scream in terror and run in a random direction (enter the Spooky Forrest)
3. Dance and jive with the locals to try to forget about home

3. You begin to follow he-man around. He steadily becomes more and more annoyed, because although he is the lovely creator of the song. He does not want it sung into his face for 10 hours, just as he is about to tell you to frick off, a freak lightening storm starts to happen. Next thing you know you are sucked into a tornado. As you travel through you notice you are moving at a lightening like speed and are in the country. Do you...

1) Stay in the tornado and hope it doesnt spit you out at 2000 ft in the air.

2) Hop out of the tornado once it starts to tear a nearby barn (bc the tornado will slow down giving u the chance to hop)

4. You think to yourself "samurai swords are for weebs. fck weebs." You charge Skeletor, who frantically tries to shoot you down. However Skeletor, being a skeleton, cannot properly support the weight of the pistol, and his bullets thud harmlessly into the ground at your feet. You'd be more worried for your safety if he were aiming for a bird in the sky. Suddenly He-Man bursts onto the scene, dragging behind him Snarff from the Thundercats, clad in a full bondage outfit. You question not He-Man's intentions with the little cat-man (nor where he got a bondage outfit that fit a cat), but are grateful when He-Man lightly taps Skeletor on the shoulder, causing him to collapse into a heap of bones.
WHAT DO

1. Join He-Man and Snarff in their kinky adventure
2. Hide behind a bush before He-Man turns his rapey gaze on you.
3. Follow He-Man around while playing the "heyeyeyey" meme song for 10 hours.

dat 8 minute "ninja"

DAMMIT CLUE NINJA'D ME MINE WAS SO MUCH BETTER TOO

3. You take that bullet to the face like a b!tch. But it turns out you have regeneration powers like motherfcking Deadpool. To your left you see a fcking samurai sword. To your right you see another fcking samurai sword. You:

1.Take the sword to your left
2.Take the sword to your right
3.Take both swords
4.Take on that spooky skeleton like a bad@ss with only your fists

3. Tombmaster Skeletor draws its pistols and fires wildly at you. How do you react?

1. Stand idly by
2. Duck for cover
3. Attempt to make contact with a bullet

1. you enter the gravestone. OH NO ITS A SPOOKY SCAREY SKELTON! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMOGMOGMGGMOMOGMOGM WHERE DO I GO

1 - sudoku

2 - talk to skelleton

3 - THEY SHOOTIN THEY SHOOTIN

2. As you enter into the graveyard you notice a gravestone different from the others, it has a sort of ethereal glow to it. As you approach you see these words carved into the surface "If you enter further do beware, with a wish comes a price you'll have to be willing to spare." You decide...

1) To continue into the graveyard to discover what it is the stone is talking about.
2) turn around and but you are no longer at the 3 paths
3) look at other gravestones around you

1. It is a wisps leading you to your destiny. The wisps lead you down 3 paths. One goes to castle ruins. THe other leads you down to a graveyard. The last leads you into farm.
1. Go to the castle ruins
2. Go to the graveyard
3. Go to farm.
4. Sit there and slide your butt in circles cuz you can't make a decision.

3. You seek Lucid, the all-father in search of many answers. As you pray to him, begging to find him a bright green figure appears in front of you. It is unclear to you who this person or deity is, as his majestic glow is too strong for your eyes to handle. You:

1. Confront the light in hopes of it being Lucid.
2. Walk away, trying to finding Lucid elsewhere.

3. The circumstances of your revival, from the ghoulish circumstance of hell to your present corporeal form, was not clear to you upon your release from the gates of hell. What they, in particular, did not tell you was that you had an inhuman hunger for flesh. This was the consequence of your new life, and it only became apparent now, after you've murdered Forrest Gump and discovered the little girl spying on you and your actions. In this moment of hunger, uncontrollable and dangerous hunger, you lash out and consume her. Her young blood fills your veins with the primordial energy you require to sustain your new take on life. Satisfied with this meal, you:

1. Go to Chris's house to take vengeance
2. Go to Hood's house to seek refuge
3. Seek Lucid, the all-father, for guidance

2. You decide to inflict the ultimate humiliation upon your fallen foe. You grab a sharpie and squiggle little doodles on his face in the style of Jigglypuff when someone falls asleep during one of her performances. Satisfied, you turn to leave, only to find a little girl staring at you with a terrified look on her face.
What do you do?

1. Explain to her that this is how the world works, and that she'd better get a head start if she wants to make it in this life. Spiderman works in mysterious ways.
2. Walk away like nothing happened, whistling Jigglypuff's sleep melody.
3. FCKING EAT HER

3. Forrest Gump, being Forrest Gump, does not remember you, but you remember it like it was yesterday. The day Forrest Gump shot and killed your parents was a day that would live in infamy in your heart. On that day, you swore vengeance on those who have committed that terrible crime and today will be the day your oath is kept. You shove the box of chocolates out of his hands and while he is distracted by this act, you fulfill the pact that you have made and end his wretched life. In a fit of irony, you utter his immortal quote, "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." After this dance with death, you:

1. Drag his body to an alleyway for hiding
2. Proceed to deface his body as an act of final vengeance
3. Run away from the scene immediately

3. You run out the door while your parents call the police on you. While you are running you meet Forrest Gump who is also running. You:

1.Tell him "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get," and go on your way
2.Trip him and tell him "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get," and go on your way
3.Kill him and think about your favorite quote,"life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."

1) You roam the land in search of virgins to sacrifice, but it seems that bdog has reached them before you ;) . You end up sacrificing the only virgin you can find a.k.a your sister. Eh she was ungrateful anyways. Your parents come home and discover the corpse, what do you do?

1) Say it was a serial killer
2) Claim she commited suicide
3) Run