I wish you much success. This twitter page seems more successful than the last but is no less amusing.

I thought I saw my cat mating with himself but it turned out he was just doing regular maintenance on his nether regions.

I tremble and weep, I am sore afraid for what days may come to pass.

I dreamed about a lion but it turned out my cat was just mauling my face :(

YESSSSSSSSSS I shall soon be eviscerated by one of these beasts. And then everyone gets what's coming to them, especially me.

APRIL FOOLS It's actually DACHORANDOOOOOO

I've ridden camels, horses, ponies, cows, and briefly considered an ostrich. There's a place nearby called DACHOLANDOOOO where you can do it.

I expect you could feed a lot of it to elephants instead. They'll soon be extinct and PRESTO! No evidence!

APRIL FOOLS I have nothing to live up to.

DAMMIT. Now my reputation is ruined :(

YOU GOT ME I WAS FOOLED

In what kind? Money? Time? Elephants?!

Two things:
1. I have ridden on an elephant.
2. I am pretty sure I waste more time than you.

A challenge!

DOUBLE APRIL FOOLS Seriously, I'll just leave it here. I hope you become famous someday.

APRIL FOOLS

This is sensible advice--in the future I will just leave my questions here instead of trying to work it out on my own.

APRIL FOOLS No one is capable of more sloth than I.

Okay, well, I'm not sleeping either, considering it's 4:30 in the afternoon.

APRIL FOOLS Clearly at one time I had to accept their offers of tribute.

How do we get rid of the 660-odd other people? I woke up one day and they were there.