do you think it's okay for adults (say 20+) to date 16 year olds even if somewhere where they live the age of consent is 16? or is still creepy and wrong because they're still technically a child?
please be respectful of the topic and the people discussing it
my gut reaction is that it feels wrong. at face value it sounds sketchy... but i would want to know about the particulars of that specific relationship. i can't conclude that there is foul play going on just because of the age difference, but i would definitely suspect it. i don't have an issue with the age difference itself, its the exploitative nature that these types of relationships usually have
the only reason why i would say it's not ok is due to the inappropriate power dynamic that exists in the relationship. it is likely that the older person is taking advantage of the younger person, although this might not always be the case. i suppose in an ideal situation where there is complete consent from both parties, i would have no issue with it.
1. i would question the intentions/motivations of an adult who seeks to date people who are underage 2. due to the power dynamic that would exist in the relationship, it is not easy to tell if there is genuine consent, or if someone is being taken advantage of.
so, is it okay? probably not. but there may be some fringe cases where there is complete consent and no one is harmed
that's exactly why i wanted to talk about this issue. there were a lot of times where everyone would freak out when they hear about an adult dating a 16 y.o teen. so it's really a judgement call. and we all haven't really had a chance to have a public discussion about it. it is pretty essential bc it often happens online. not to mention people in ldr tend to exchange nudes.
lot of youngsters don't see the problems of dating adults. i don't think they are informed enough to know when to back off or how to protect themselves. you know, red flags to watch out for. i personally think 20 is a little old for a 16 year old girl but they will find a way no matter what. if you're 16 and are interested in dating a person who happens to be an adult, please make INFORMED decisions and you should be supervised by your parents AND you shouldn't get sexual with that person. if you might be pressured into something you aren't ready for then you should wait to date.
a lot of times young girls don't realize they are being groomed until they've been groomed. i've recently come to terms that i was in a very damaging relationship with someone much older than me who groomed me and it's very easy to fall prey to it when you are vulnerable and in a bad place.
i like the idea to preach love to everyone but a lot of times older men dating teenagers are taking advantage whether they know it or not. going off of what cita said, it's very hard to consent to a man in their 20s when you are still a teenager. they might think they are consenting but they arent.
hopefully this thread can say civilized and be used to educate others about this, because it is a real issue and it's romanticized a lot in my opinion
even if it's legal, it's still predatory. there's a giant power/experience imbalance between a 16 and 20 year old, and in many cases when people opt for 'barely legal' it's just an easy compromise on legitimately illegal and harmful fantasies. i don't see why 16 can't be the age of consent but i think there should be a romeo and juliet law protecting them from people eighteen and up.
Difference is huge between 16 and 18 but I do not see anything wrong honestly with dating, and not extreme activities... I think at 16, they are still a child but their brains are already mature enough to process these types of decisions...
Someone who is 16 still asks their parents if it's okay to go to Wendy's with their friends at 9 PM and if you're over 20 years old and think it's okay to romantically be involved with that person then I am disgusted
deletedover 5 years
the difference between a 16 year old and a 20 year old is so drastic that it is predatory
the difference between a 16 and a 20 year old is immense wym... you don't magically MATURE overnight, but it's a gradual process. there's no problem with say, an 18 and a 20 year old dating but there absolutely is where one of them is a sophomore in college and the other is a sophomore in high school.
As long as it's withing the law, I see nothing wrong with it. It's not like you magically become an adult overnight when you turn 18 and difference between a 20 year old and a 16 year old in most cases is not that big mentality wise. As long as both sides consent and it is not against the law.
