As I sit studying, for the 100th time, my notes for my big exam, I am pleasantly surprised by an individual that I had not seen for some time. They were waiting to speak in a classroom that they had been in just a few years ago. This same person is the one that encouraged me to pursue the course of study that I will be graduating from this year. She was dressed professionally and related that the professor had contacted her and asked her to speak to their classes today on how the degree is relevant today. She has had background in working for private firms as well as jurisdictions and is going well in her career.

I had first met her as a new student at the University. We had two classes together that year and were often in the same team for group projects. Our latest group actually was conducting a social experiment, facilitating the game "werewolf" with a group of students. Afterwards, she spoke about Epic Mafia and how messed up the social aspect of the online sites get after a short time. I sat with her as she showed me the site and the forums of EM. She mentioned that it is the ultimate social experience that someone should study in comparison to other sites. I mused whether it should be a study of online bullying, online personality disorders, the effects of online activities on the behavior, or how online behavior affects our society as a whole. She offered to give me the account to play the game/observe the behaviors on the site, having me promise that I would not be a part of the problem. Enough on that.

The professor came out and greeted my friend, letting her know that she would be ready for her in 10 minutes. As the professor walked away, I asked my friend if I could do a short interview with her. She offered to take me to lunch after the first class that she spoke in and during that time I could ask as many questions as I wanted.

While I am not posting the full interview, I found it a very interesting time. Below are parts of the conversation that I had with "Friend" at spaghetti factory.

Me: So tell me why you chose to play on Epic Mafia and what was your initial impressions?

Friend: I was originally introduced to the site by another player very early on in the site's starting year. I was taking a lot of psychology courses at that time and found it an interesting study on interactions of an online community. I discovered that many individuals on the site were teen to college age or above. As time passed, it was like some "grew up " (or didn't at all) in an online community that allowed for their anonymity to form their online alter egos that most likely affected them in real life as well. They became increasingly aggressive online and thrived in the group mentality.

(She then handed me a box that she had carried in with 3 notebooks of print outs, journals and data from this site. )

Me: Wow you really took notes and journaled about this site? This is a lot of stuff. I see that you have predictions on some of the long time players and other individuals on the site.

Friend: They were somewhat in jest but were drawn from the most recent conclusions on online identities, behavior and the like.

Me: Let's turn to your time on the site. You ticked the main "group" on EM off quite a bit. There has been a lot of posting, even recently, about you fashioning the censoring. Is that true? Why do people still care?

Friend: Oh my gosh that's funny. I was not even the main person on that. I'm shocked the main person hasn't owned up to it. No, I said I wasn't interested in doing that and that I can maybe find a list from another website or something. That was the extent, I didn't edit it, add to it or anything like that because I didn't care. Why do people care now? Some people are probably still mentioning it because it is their way of staying a part of the "crowd/gang/community" so they find idiotic reasons that are just generally accepted. It's quite immature and idiotic but don't worry about that, they don't need help making themselves look petty. You have to remember that people like that are usually finding outlets for their lack in real life.

Me: What happened with the whole mod thing?

Friend: (laughing again) I just wanted to be a mod for a short while then I would just quit. I was tired of the game and the toxic community. People were building their lives around their "social interaction of alter egos." I had no desire to remain. I left the site when I wanted to leave it. I was seeing people that were carrying on in such a delusional manner as to their "importance" on an online website that I was certain they were just as delusional when they were not in front of a computer.

Me: So what happened in that accident that they keep referencing? Were you really hurt?

Friend: Seriously. They're still referencing it? I'm not going to really talk further about that, you and I have discussed it before, I don't care to put the details of that in your interview. It was an auto accident where I was a passenger. I was seriously injured, yes,and I don't care to explain anything further as it really doesn't matter. The same is the fact about my friend that passed away. It doesn't matter. There will always be the immature few that continue on about things like that because it was a remnant of what brought them to the group mentality, so they use it like a membership card. Don't give it your time of day. Ever.

Me: Ok, well, you just answered my next question. So, was it difficult for you to delete your account? What were you thinking?

Friend: No, not at all. I was very intentional on the time that I chose. I chose the date that I did for a reason that does not matter. The people that I had befriended during my time there already were able to contact me, so it was not a big deal. What was I thinking? Hmmm........I guess just thought, "Yay, it's finally time."

Me: Have your thought about going back?

Friend: Ew. No. Why? There are a couple of people I would like to know what they are up to because they were nice or whatever.

Me: Do you have anything to say to people on EM?

Friend: Not really. LIke I said, the ones that matter I am still in contact with. I will say this, I guess. Find a healthy balance in your life. Seek out your identity in your strengths offline. If you spend so much time in online communities that it is the place you seek your affirmations and fulfillment, then you need to take a step back and grow up. Online communities are great for entertainment but it is important to interact face to face and grow yourself as an individual.

Me: Thank you for meeting with me.

Friend: No problem, hey, do you still go on EM much?

Me: Very rarely. The site has little activity.

Friend: You know, if you post anything on this, the crazies will come out of the woodwork right?

Me: Yeah, I know. (I laugh and we both finish our salads and breadsticks.)

So, that was the main points in our interview. What did I find as I briefly skimmed the volumes she had given me? That while there are some delusional individuals, there were also some that were seeking healthy lives outside of the website. The website was just a means of recreation for them. These people have gone on to finish college, have relationships and great jobs. I have yet to fully go through the material but thought it would be fun to post this thread.