Hey guys. It's been a while.
For those of you who don't know me, my name is Shadox. Formerly known as the angsty salty sunavah blotch ShadoNinjaX (whenever I look at that name I cringe now I s2g)
It's been about year since I've been in this lobby. I left a year ago due to my mental health deteriorating and a bout of long lasting depression. Survivor had been taking a toll on my body, physically and emotionally. That probably showed by how salty I got every game, blaming myself for being a bad player, thinking that everyone hated me, etc...
So I took a step back. Re-evaluated my life. Stopped playing survivor. Thought about how horrible my life had become due to this...addiction, for lack of a better term.
It was then that I realized how futile it was to be pissed after a game. It's just a fricking game, no one is holding a grudge against you, and we're all here to have fun. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that.
Since then, my mental health has improved. Life has been treating me better and depression hasn't been as prominent in my life. I am also trying my hardest to stop my salty tendancies.
The days of #SaltyShado are dead. No more "so much for a happy new year", no more making people feel bad.
To whoever had to put up with my horrible saltiness, and whoever felt responsible for me being the way I was, I sincerely apologize. I will do my best to repair anything I have damaged.
I want to leave you guys with this: don't let things escalate like I did. Step back if you're feeling stressed, or some tough crup is happening in your life. Your health is more important then some stupI'd online game that barely counts in the grand scheme of things.
If you're ever feeling stressed, people are there to talk. Most people will know how you feel. You'll feel a lot better when you vent to someone. And if someone comes to you to vent, don't be an as hole towards them. Actually listen to them. Who knows? You might just save a life.
To whoever read this far: thank you for taking the time to read this entire post. Once again, I am sorry for the way I acted a year ago, and will do my best to undo the mistakes I've made.
The path to redemption is long and winding, but the reward at the end is worth finding.
