That's hot.

I tried to make friends again later

it was awful
They put laxatives in my pizza
and caught me checking my to see if I was myself
I thought that really was the end

One day I met the guy who did that
and I was making his pizza
I said kill me
for sake

I was making this guys pizza
and he was like terrified
possibly because I was holding a butcher knife at the time
but he missed the point

I don't hate him for lying to me about "dominos new chocolate pizza"

Thx.

Simurgh30: You know what else I hate? Food
Why can't I replace my organs with robot parts? Pooping is disgusting and I just get fatter every time I eat.

Yeah well If I wasn't here I'd be staring at the ceiling thinking this

I would be down for a thing that let me pour drinks for people over the internet

what if that happens
what if

In the future I will be able to make exotic ramen and 3d print it directly to strangers on the internet

You know what I tried today

Simurgh30: Hey,
So I have an issue.
I need to find a way to not need the internet anymore, like no internet.
Kind of like how I've done with TV.
I want to find a way to get rid of my cell phone, laptop, all that stuff.
Like in 5 years the internet is gonna be , like totally unusable.
I just want to rip the bandaid off now.
I also did this with video games, unless you count EM.
I recognized several years ago that video games were turning to and ran far away, now I can watch people cry about lootboxes without having to suffer myself.

Sportsfan666: damn u gay

Simurgh30: I've wonder if Im like a percent gay, But I really can't jack it to dudes…not even traps.
I did try for the sake of science… I really think I could have turned out gay though.
I had a backstreet boys phases, and spice girls.
One time I was like "Dad why didn't you say something about how gay I seemed"

Sportsfan666: I fap exclusively to leaked EM nudes

Jagoff: so never

Simurgh30:
And I was expecting him to say something like "well I was wise and decided to let you be you and hey you turned out alright"
But thats not what he said.
He said, "Son, you know your mother was doing drugs and alcohol when she was pregnant with you right? I figured it was because of that.
It was kind of harsh. But he probably wasn't wrong.
I asked my mom how she met my dad
And she said she used to have this really intense social anxiety.
So one day she decided that she was going to try and get over it by using LSD before going to a party.
She wound up talking to a guy while tripping out of her mind for 5 hours.
That guy turned out to be my dad.
So like, in a sense, I exist because of LSD.
And I was like, “who is Michael? Why did you name me Michael?”
“Oh he was a friend of your mother's from alcoholics anonymous”
It kind of all lines up
There never is going to be a game is there