It was getting late, so as I did every day, I decided it was time to log off of EpicMafia. I scrolled down to see the last comment made by The Artist Formerly Known By Plissken, praising The Greatest Day. Crying inside, I wished so hard to be enlightened like Plissken was, for I was a sinful user and so desperately needed Jamal's enlightenment.

Disgusted by myself, I shut down my computer and collapsed onto my bed, exhausted from my rough day and my failure to gain enlightenment. I thought to myself, "Jamal Tiberius Marley... wherever you are... please help me..."

Suddenly, with a gust of heavenly air, my windows flew open, and Jamal swooped in, wearing a fine, regal coat and jet-black latex trousers. I can still remember the gold buttons upon the crimson cloth so vividly in my mind.

"Pathetic user, why do you summon me?" Jamal asked aggressively, "I am very busy and may not be able to solve your problems tonight."

I got on all fours and bowed to my lord instinctively. Jamal's piercing gaze elicited a strange, warm feeling in my entire body, and I felt my forehead become moist. "I-I seek enlightenment, my lord," I stammered.

"I see you are ready..." he said, gazing the moisture spread. "Very well, I will show you enlightenment, user." I noticed a bulge forming between my lord's legs, pulsating.

Jamal reached into his trousers and revealed a long, hard, thick, pulsating scroll. "This, user, is the Scroll of Enlightenment. Can you see the enlightenment pulsating out of it, my child?" he questioned.

I nodded in amazement, already affected by some sort of trance. Jamal remained silent as he strutted closer to me. In a much more soothing voice, he murmured, "Relax, child. It may seem uncomfortable at first, but once you get the enlightenment inside you, you will enjoy it."

Jamal placed his pulsating scroll onto my very moist forehead. I asked, "My lord, may I put my arms around your shoulders?" "Yes, my divine child", he replied. Jamal summoned a celestial hammer to strike one end of the scroll, while the other end would be pounded into my body.

I wrapped my arms and legs around Jamal's body as he began the penetration of the enlightenment. First he kissed me on the lips. Then the scroll slowly inserted itself into me. It did feel a bit uncomfortable and daunting in the beginning as I felt my life was changing before my eyes. However, I kept my gaze straight at Jamal's brilliant blue eyes.

When the scroll was halfway in, the pressure of the large scroll inside me was building up and I whimpered a little bit in discomfort. Jamal then removed the scroll, and I felt a longing to be filled up with the enlightened scroll once again. "Put it back in," I pleaded. Silently, Jamal started hammering the scroll back into me. This time, the insertion felt much more pleasurable, and all of my nerves were reacting to the feeling of enlightenment well.

I felt pressure building up again in my moist area, but this time, I stayed silent and let Jamal continue pounding. Suddenly, the pressure built up so much that I couldn't breathe. My entire body was tingling with enlightenment, as I wondered what was happening to me. I felt my skin flush to a deep red color, and I started gasping for breath. Jamal sensed this change, and said in a smooth but godly voice, "Do you repent for your sins? If you do truly seek enlightenment, you must repent. Expel all of your sins."

At this point, I could not move, so instead of nodding, I let out a low whimper which quickly turned into a shriek. My entire body was full of spasms, and it felt numb after they subsided. After that point, I was paralyzed and full of pleasure and enlightenment.

It seemed like eternity when Jamal started pounding faster. "Almost there, child" he grunted. I felt the spasms coming back. With a mighty bellow, Jamal struck the last blow and the enlightenment flowed through me. Slowly, he retracted the now soft but still pulsating scroll. He closed my eyes, kissed me, and flew off.