Associate, you've been sulking in that workshop of yours for hours! As a fellow mafioso, I'm concerned. Why are you so upset?

Just take the breadsticks and get out.

I keep getting these fake "report" messages in my inbox. What gives?

Just wear their skin and nobody will know.

Why is sandbox still a lobby?

I'm so sick and tired of SJWs telling me i can't hump my garden gnomes.

What's the first thing you say when you match someone on tinder?

This is why we need epic mafia mods.

i want to BLANK your brains out...

blank my blank and blank you

send nudes

have you ever considered having an ounce of self-respect for once?

a live owl

When will Jamal win the universal election?

I may do a lot of things for a dollar but that isn't one of them.

Do you ever lick the ground to a beautiful sunset?

The planet Neptune.

What graffiti did you place outside the local mosque?

Sometimes, if the colour is right

Who did it with you last night while your spouse was out of town?

Praise the alcohol

What is one question you would like to ask if you misunderstood this thread?

Isn't it obvious? PrincessParfait must have done it again. υγυ

i do enjoy carrot soup, not as much as tomato soup.

what is the most gratifying experience you've had on this website?

do you enjoy carrot soup?

just be gentle with me, please

how was your amputation fetish experience?

only if the vegetables aren't soggy

How to carry a baby?

It was awkward at first but then I liked it.

I need help f*cking my exhaust pipe, know anyone who can help me with that?

I think you should put down the knife for starters

What's your first sensation after peeling a banana?


Not me personally, but maybe my third cousin can help you with that.

Where should I deliver this sofa?

I like how it feels on my nipple

so how are the frog legs?

directly up my butt

Can you stop jacking it in public?


Tastes like chicken

How would you feel about a dragon devouring you with a fork?

Never

Chances of quitting EpicMafia?

As long as it's with you <3

why is this drawer in your desk filled with plastic easter eggs and pictures of the giant crow from dark souls?

less than 1 in two million