Here's something I do know about myself. Do you know why I surround myself with all these personas? Well, believe it or not, I know. Yes, the stupid teenager knows something about their own mind.
I do things like this because it's so much easier than being myself and being exposed to all the bullsh*t around me. If I'm someone else, I can pretend... I can just pretend I'm safe. Unfortunately, safety is only a temporary illusion, as I've been shown time and time again.
"verum, are you ok?" i'm f*cking awful, thanks for not asking. i've been this way for months. i'm malfunctioning. go away. crumble to dust, for all i care
anyway, can i just f*cking scream for a moment? sh*t's been hard, and i have no idea why i keep coming back here and hoping i'll be taken seriously like some people are
guess everyone was right. i don't deserve to be treated like a person. i'm a joke
hahahahahahahha looks like verumbark finally snapped huh? lets all laugh together. whats wrong verum is it that time of the month again :) yeah lets keep being dismissive and saying the same things ad nauseum to hide the fact that were all just a bunch of overgrown playground bullies that sounds like such a good plan h ahh hah hahhaha
next time i get tired enough to write that kind of sh*t, i'll probably just go to sleep
deletedover 7 years
He never slept; the camera stared unblinkingly at him in the stranger’s absence, and the cold filling the room made his hair stand on end. Sitting in a pool of his own blood, he couldn’t close his eyes. His captor found him crying when they returned, and they asked him in that same taunting voice what was wrong, as if they didn’t know at all. The feeling of their gloved palm on his cheek sent a chill shooting through his bloodstream. They pointed out as they held it there how freezing he felt. Then they took out a hammer and drill and went to work on him again until his agony grew so intense that he was no longer aware of the cracking of his bones. He sat, limp and drained of energy, through every fresh pulse of pain, and he hardly even noticed when they stopped. His throat burned from screaming. His vision blurred. He felt the prick of a needle in his arm, and with a weak whimper, he lost consciousness.
deletedover 7 years
Oh, yikes, I've written some... kinda violent stuff before. Nice...?
deletedover 7 years
> "Let's start with the more casual items, then," they said slyly, taking out a box of assorted gourmet candies. "If sweets aren't your thing, I brought chips as a backup snack... although, if I may be so bold, you're still by far the most delicious thing in this room." They had to hold back a giggle. This was so unlike them, and they knew it, but it had greatly improved their mental state to have someone they could be vulnerable with. Him being so charming didn't hurt, either.
im just gonna post random writing stuff i find here too
deletedover 7 years
Siiiigh... gosh, I've been in such a funk lately. It might be the sleep schedule, might be school stuff, might even have something to do with this... place... but whatever it is, I wish it'd go away. I prefer being happy to being glum all the time. :/
