All rise. The Sandbox Court, is now in session, the Honorable Judge Parudoks presiding. Members of the Jury, your duty today will be to determine whether Pineapple is a suitable topping to be placed on pizza. This court case will last from May 7th to May 13th
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Pineapples should not be allowed on pizza, and it can be scientifically proven. Mr. Miller, you have stated that cantaloupe is often placed with pizza, and you state that because both cantaloupes and pineapples are fruit, pineapples should be allowed upon pizza. However, this is not logically sound. The pH of melons such as cantaloupe are on average 6.1, while the pH of tomato sauce is on average 5.7, tomato sauce being the main constituent of the pizza whole. These two objects naturally work together with the small pH difference and thus are viable as a combined food substance. However, pineapples on average have a pH of 3.71. This difference in pH between tomato sauce and pineapple is massive, and thus creates a disgusting and unpleasant food experience. Because of this large pH difference, the two do not work as a combined food substance and because of this should not be placed together.
With the permission of the honorable Parudouks, I would like to cross-examine the testimony of TennisBallBFDI2.
So are tomatoes--yet nobody bats an eye at those. More directly, cantaloupe and proscuitto is a popular pizza combination in Italy (1). How can one claim with any credibility that the Italians--the inventors the pizza--are wrong to put their preferred fruit on pizza? A food cannot be precluded from being a valid pizza topping simply because it is a fruit.
Regular Mozzarella cheese is 60% water (2). It is jiggly and soggy to touch. Should we prevent others from putting Mozzarella on pizzas?
Both tomatoes (3) and bell peppers (4) have over 90% water content. Should we restrict others from putting tomatoes and bell peppers on their pizzas?
If the pineapple were grilled before it were put on the pizza, would you change your view? Pineapple is one of the easiest fruits to grill. Doing so would also decrease its high water content quite a bit.
My name is Adam and I am here to tell you why you should pineapple on pizza guilty of ruining tastebuds.
My first thing is this, A nice and freshly baked pizza is very warm. A pineapple ring is very slimy, and unappealing to some tastebuds as the hot and cool do not mix.
Pineapple is a fruit. Pineapple is a watery fruit. If you take one bite of it and your pizza all that great tasting flavor of the pizza gets ruined by the flopping ring of pineapple.
Pizza and Pineapple do not mix. People of the Jury, when I was a young boy, I would almost always eat pizza. I tried hawaiian pizza once, I almost regurgitated it back up. A young boy people.
We will try to convince you to vote guilty of all charges. Thank You
deletedover 7 years
To the dearest debaters, I must accept pineapple on pizza as a legitimate topping. Aside from it being an edible food, without a doubt this is creating an intensely unhealthy society that we live in. You see, my argument for pineapple pizza is routed in that people are allowed to eat what they want and express themselves how they want as long as it does not harm others, and this does not harm others. I feel that it is harmful to reject this as a topping because it tries to force onto other people on what they can and cannot eat.
I will bring up a story, however outside the realms of pineapple pizza it is to create a point. When I was 10 years old I listened to some silly music, and my dad commented on how it sounded 'dumb'. Now granted, the music you enjoy is all based on your taste, but no matter the music I listen to I always have earbuds in because I feel that I will be secretly judged no matter the tunes I groove too.
Now bringing this back to pizza.
Banning pineapple creates a harmful society where people are afraid on what to eat and what not to eat- the choice is up to you, but I fear that there will be NO acceptable toppings, instead of ALL acceptable toppings. We must end this shame culture before grows.
It was exquisite. The salty savoriness of the bacon and fire of the jalapeño was perfectly counteracted by the sweet, tangy pineapple, flooding my mouth with a sensation never before experienced. The tomato and cheese base was the platform for these three players to dance upon, flirting and tantalizing the other with intriguing couples. I cannot think of three other flavors that could more perfectly balance each other. I finished three-quarters of that pizza on one sitting, and guarded the rest of the treasure in the fridge until I could finish it for lunch tomorrow. I will forever cherish the valuable lessons I learned from the PB&J pizza that evening.
Without that pineapple, the whole balance of the PB&J pizza would be thrown into complete and utter disarray. Because of the pineapple, I was treated to one of the most exquisite pizza experiences of my life. I cannot in good conscience allow people to continue laboring under the delusion that pineapple has no place on pizza.
Friends—lay down your arms. Let us join together as pizza-loving brothers committed to securing the freedom to choose the best toppings for all of us. Let us broaden our horizons, accept one another, and end this war on pineapple once and for all.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I have a personal story I would like to share.
One evening not so long ago, I was pressing through the middle of enduring a busy period of the semester. Starved from the weight of midterms and with little energy to cook, I remembered I had a coupon for a three-topping Pizza Hut pizza. Surely, I thought, this would be an excellent way to lift my spirits. But what toppings to choose?
An idea sprang into my head. I had heard in the past of a topping combination so unorthodox, so idiosyncratic, so… well… MYTHOLOGICAL that deeply intrigued me. Even the name gave me pause. It was called the PB&J Pizza, after its toppings: pineapple, bacon, and jalapeño.
The idea soon settled in my mind, and I decided that I had to experience this strange amalgamation. I placed my order, but as I did so I could only wonder what those who were baking the pizza several miles away were thinking. When I arrived at the store, I confirmed to the cashier that, yes, I was the one who asked for a pineapple/bacon/jalapeño pizza. Even as I swiped my card I wondered if she was silently judging me for overstepping the bounds of socially acceptable pizza norms.
With the PB&J pizza in hand, I drove home questioning my decision. Had I made a massive mistake? I don’t even LIKE jalapeños and pineapple all that much anyways. Would my roommates help me finish if I could not stomach this concoction? Or would half of the pizza simply end up in the trash?
Several minutes later, I sat at the table with the box open, the aroma of melted cheese and fruit filling the apartment. With apprehension, I bit into my first slice of PB&J pizza. Words cannot completely describe my experience, but I would be doing the world a massive disservice if I did attempt to voice what I felt for the next ten minutes.
Pineapple vs Pizza
