Epicmafia

kub i sl0n's book of emlore

over 7 years

1986. December. Somewhere, Siberia. A door opens, displacing last night's coat of snow. A villager walks out and into the village square where the governor is taking votes. "I know who it is," he thinks, "the filthy scum."

Welcome to kub i sl0n's book of emlore. Ask any questions relating to epicmafia lore and we'll read you the definitive canonical history of epicmafia.

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As slavyanskiy, I can verify the legitimacy of all lore contained herein and approve of kub i sl0n's definitive book of emlore and canonical history. Siberia is a cold place just like my insides.

deletedover 7 years

When a bride proposes to a lover who is in love with someone else, and they accept the proposal...why doesn't the lover become a hooker?

poptartfart

over 7 years

what make the insane cop finally lose his marbles

jingahegami

over 7 years

sl0nderman says

jingahegami says

why does mechanic exist

Why do you exist nerd

i ask myself that question daily

sl0nderman

over 7 years

jingahegami says

why does mechanic exist

Why do you exist nerd

jingahegami

over 7 years

why does mechanic exist

frigrat

over 7 years

Why do people hate noavis?

LekkuLover

over 7 years

why are gallis necks so strong

Ben

over 7 years

what is lover and Heartbreakers relationship like

Associate

over 7 years

How did I fashion the perfect weapon, able to kill all except those I hold dear?

Platypops

over 7 years

why do zombies not talk during meetings but can during the day?

cub

over 7 years

FilthyLawn says

How does the driver confuse people on who they're targetting by merely driving people to different locations?

Remember this happens at night when it's dark and hard to see. In fact, all night visits are carried out by memory alone. The Driver takes advantage of this by offering everyone in the village a ride with a 99% chance of reaching their destination. The other 1% will be sent somewhere else since the Driver is bought by mafia.

cub

over 7 years

Christopherzilla says

What's up with the bride? How can she just propose to someone and expect them to accept it willy nilly? Does she wear the dress everywhere?

Arranged marriage is tradition in Somewhere, Siberia. It is arranged by the bride in her head before proposing. You can tell when a woman is about to propose to a random stranger when she quits her job and starts wearing a wedding gown around the village. Really, it's the groom's fault for not seeing it coming.

As with all arranged marriages, it is illegal to refuse and punishable by death. Whether you're mafia is irrelevant, town has to maintain its own law.

FilthyLawn

over 7 years

How is a treestump able to grow into a full tree in just one night? And how are they able to talk? Also why can't they vote?

FilthyLawn

over 7 years

How does the driver confuse people on who they're targetting by merely driving people to different locations?

Christopherzilla

over 7 years

What's up with the bride? How can she just propose to someone and expect them to accept it willy nilly? Does she wear the dress everywhere?

cub

over 7 years

Christopherzilla says

How did a penguins, monkeys, and butterflies get the right to vote in town meetings?

Siberian penguins are very clever. Among activities like mating randomly and dropping hints to random villagers, they're also known to pick up voting slips from previous meetings and turn them in whilst town is bickering.

Monkeys mimic the voting process as they're known to do and likewise vote when no one is looking.

As for butterflies, tales have it they're a sign from nature. When a butterfly lands on someone, it's counted as a vote for that person.

Negra

over 7 years

Christopherzilla says

How did a penguins, monkeys, and butterflies get the right to vote in town meetings?

the same way woman did

Christopherzilla

over 7 years

How did a penguins, monkeys, and butterflies get the right to vote in town meetings?

Bebop

over 7 years

the link is actually https://epicmafia.com/user/logout

Negra

over 7 years