onion thread

schutzekatzealmost 10 years ago

Everybody loves onion threads. Post here and I'll write a satirical The Onion article title about you.

It helps if I know you, but I'll probs come up with something based on your profile if I don't.

Poll
Fav pie
apple pie5
blueberry pie3
strawberry pie2
raspberry pie1
deletedalmost 10 years ago

i already know mine
xJuicyalmost 10 years ago
schutzekatze
xJuicy
I love onions.
"What initially seemed revolutional, adding onions to your juice seems only to provoke vomiting."
Thanks I feel like I can work with this.
deletedalmost 10 years ago
it's true.
schutzekatzealmost 10 years agoedited
mist
hi pal
"mist complains she can't get enough eboyfriends because Epicmafia profile customization is too frustrating and limited to perfect her profile aesthetic."
thecolonelalmost 10 years ago
This is my favorite thread
deletedalmost 10 years ago
hi pal
Sincerelyalmost 10 years ago
you misspelled shitpost
thecolonelalmost 10 years ago
Bravo
schutzekatzealmost 10 years agoedited
thecolonel
Lol!
expose
*volunteers*
"expose announces Ian is a perfect repacement for her as a mod, saying his shitpos- forum posting skills are absolutely fit for the position."
GuyFawkes85almost 10 years ago
schutzekatze
"GuyFawkes has announced he has a clear plan for how to fail in winning a trophy in the next comp round."
Lol, I even have a backup plan, if the first one seems to go bad :P
schutzekatzealmost 10 years ago
xJuicy
I love onions.
"What initially seemed revolutional, adding onions to your juice seems only to provoke vomiting."
xJuicyalmost 10 years ago
I love onions.
obhattonalmost 10 years ago
Go for it.

You know nothing about me, good luck.
schutzekatzealmost 10 years ago
Sincerely
schutzekatze
thecolonel
Accurate af.
tbh the only thing I know about you is that your name is Ian, lol, so gimme a sec.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
"EM is in shock after Sincerely forgot to apologize for winning a game.
She has also asked mods to ban her to let others know that she's sorry."
Sincerelyalmost 10 years ago
schutzekatze
thecolonel
Accurate af.
tbh the only thing I know about you is that your name is Ian, lol, so gimme a sec.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
schutzekatzealmost 10 years ago
trolleyz
im nervous cause i prefer blueberry pies too...
"denial's psychologist says his therapy was successful after he finally complimented another EM user."
exposealmost 10 years ago
*volunteers*
trolleyzalmost 10 years ago
im nervous cause i prefer blueberry pies too...
deletedalmost 10 years ago
hi
thecolonelalmost 10 years ago
0 for 1 there
schutzekatzealmost 10 years ago
thecolonel
Accurate af.
tbh the only thing I know about you is that your name is Ian, lol, so gimme a sec.
schutzekatzealmost 10 years ago
Japter
hi
"Cambridge university expelled a student after he falsely claimed he studies there to get a prominent position on Epicmafia."
schutzekatzealmost 10 years ago
Rutab
none of the pies
"rutab experiencing a mental breakdown after learning his soulcow is not on Epicmafia."
thecolonelalmost 10 years ago
Accurate af.
schutzekatzealmost 10 years ago
I'm writing in the order I come up with them.