How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
deletedover 8 years
Bebop: [to sandbox] The flight plan I just filed with the agency lists me, my mods, and Izzy here but only one of you! First one to talk gets to stay in my lobby! [grabs a hood] Bebop: Who paid you to grab Izzy? [No answer, the agent fires his gun away from the prisoner's head] Bebop: He didn't fly so good! [pulls the hood back into the plane] Bebop: Who wants to try next? [grabs another prisoner] CIA Agent: Tell me about Jimbei! Why does he wear the mask? A lot of loyalty, for a hired gun! Jimbei: Or perhaps he's wondering why someone would shoot a man, before throwing him out of a plane? Bebop: At least you can talk. Who are you? Jimbei: It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan. [Bebop removes the hood] Jimbei: No one cared who I was until I put on the mask. Bebop: If I pull that off, would you die? Jimbei: It would be extremely painful. Bebop: You're a big guy! Jimbei: For you. Bebop: Was getting caught part of your plan? Jimbei: Of course... Izzy refused our offer in favor of yours, we had to find out what he told you. Izzy: Nothing! I said nothing! Bebop: Well, congratulations! You got yourself caught! Now what's the next step in your master plan? Jimbei: Crashing this lobby... with no survivors!
I can only conclude that, using experimental physics, wood cannot be unchucked. On the other hand, I have utilized Statistical Physics by incorporating Quantum Field Theory, Brownian Motion, and Knot Theory to find what appears to be random intervals at which wood can be unchucked and therefore break comprehension of how wood is chucked in our universe. However, such ideas are only theoretical, and I must run more trials and observe the woodchuck in isolation and under various conditions to accurately portray wood chucked by a woodchuck. You can help my journey by donating money to my Patreon account.
Time (s) | Wood chucked (kg) | Notes 0 | 0 | Woodchuck prepares chuck 5 | 5.056 | W(t) is accurate; A = pi 19 | 9.25 | Still accurate 20 | 9.25 | Pauses to see hot female 18000 | 30.78 | Dusk approaches 18001 | 30.78 | Stops and falls asleep 54000 | 32.66 | He chucks in his sleep
After this the cycle continues. So there is a completely different equation when he is asleep. Where D(t) is when he is awake, I will count N(t) as wood chucked when he is asleep. So D(54000) = 32.66 = B*ln(36000)-B*ln(18000)+30.78 Solving, we get B = e, or Euler's number. W(t) has now turned into a piecewise function where W(t) = D(t) during the 14 hours of daylight and W(t) = N(t) for the 10 hours of rest. I modeled a statistical graph showing an approximate curve of an accurate representation of wood chucked over time. It appears that my hypothesis was correct: wood chucked does not decrease over time as wood chucked does not get unchucked; therefore, for each woodchuck, there is no maximum amount of wood chucked. However, there are intervals at which the rate shows maximums as are outlined by the concavity of W(t) according the 2nd Derivative Test. We can see that the woodchuck is least efficient when not chucking wood, such as when an attractive female woodchuck passes by or when it stop to transition from D(t) to N(t) in its rest formation.
In such a hypothetical scenario, let's consider 2 possible outcomes of great power:
1) The woodchuck would continue to chuck wood until it has reached a maximum capacity. Now, looking at a wood chucked vs time graph, we can see that time has a logarithmic relationship with chucked wood since wood chucks are at best efficiency when first chucking but over time slow down. This leads us to a function W(t) = Aln(t) where A is some natural non-zero constant based on the efficiency of the woodchuck. Differentiating the equating allows us to find the rate at with wood is chucked in respect to time: W'(t) = A/t . Since this function does not intersect with the t-axis, we can see that there is not a definite maximum capacity of wood to be chucked. However the limit as t approaches infinity becomes zero, and reaching infinity and beyond could potentially lead to a negative value, proving that maximum amount of wood chucked is found at infinite time.
The problem with this scenario is that the only objects in the system are the woodchuck and infinite wood. We must consider the rate at which wood is depleted from stock as well as the metabolic and psychological abilities of the respective physical and mental contents of the woodchuck. Woodchucks could only eat so much before getting weary or unable to fill their bodies with more wood. In such a case, I decided to run an experiment with several trials on the efficiency of the woodchuck as represented below. (For sake of time, I have briefed the results)
I promise that if I am the next owner of sandbox, I will run sandbox into the ground with a lack of caring, abuse my powers, mod my friends, and ban people who annoy me. A Wubat ownership is an ownership of honesty.
