But see, I feel like you're painting it too black and white. 4 year olds are rarely capable of telling you exactly what they know about themselves. How are you sure a 4 year old has "done his/hear homework" onto thinking about their gender, what their feeling, and the implications of changing genders?
I feel the reason the decision should be scrutinized is precisely because of the implications for the child. By deviating from the default, you are often ostracized and bullied as a kid. It's sad, but often a reality. If you are in a gray area and uncertain your kid is transgender, then why force that situation upon them when they may not have thought it through.
Consider this scenario: What if your 4 year old tells you that they are certain they want to be home schooled? How do you know they have actually thought through all the implications of being home schooled versus they just heard you get to hang out at home all day and that sounds kinda cool. I'm sure most parents would not make this decision based solely on the child's recommendation because they don't see their kid as being fully rational and aware yet. Of course, any good parent would investigate why their kid is asking to be home schooled, just as I suspect any parent would investigate why their child has told them they think they may be the opposite gender. I guess the question is at what age or through what actions taken by the child should you, as the parent, make the decision to recognize the child as transgender in how you raise them and in how the school treats them as well?
At what age can you make the determination that you're not transgender? Most cis children, and most cis adults as well, have probably put absolutely zero thought into whether they might actually be another gender, whether their current gender is really the best thing for them, and whether they're really prepared to allow their body to continue irreversibly masculinizing or feminizing itself.
Trans people put a lot of thought into these questions - particularly a child precocious enough to be able to articulate what she's experiencing at such an early age.
So why exactly is it that we would put any more stock in how cis people feel about their genders, when trans people are the ones who've actually done their homework on it all?
Cis people just stumble into their genders, merely because being cis is common. They just happen to be right about their gender, not thanks to any effort on their part.
Why is it that we're so prepared to accept that all children are cis and straight by default, yet when a child declares they're trans or gay, this somehow requires some higher standard of proof? What makes you so sure any child knows they're cis or straight?
Letting yourself develop in a certain gendered way without social or medical changes is just as much of a choice as transitioning; it's not any less deserving of scrutiny as a decision merely because it's the default that happens without any conscious intervention.
deletedalmost 9 years
What the hell did you take to think of something like this
deletedalmost 9 years
There is no option for the parents to say their baby hasn't identified itself yet
