also don't post it on epicmafia
deletedabout 9 years
i get drunk and send weird snapchats and tinder pickup lines togirls all the time and the weird is that most of them work lolz im pretty thrashed right now but im pnwnig mafia
oksus i'm sure you are just dumb because of your age, but please find a new drug dealer that doesn't leave evidence of him dealing
[19/09/2015 5:39:10 PM] Matthew ~: I’m a man wh ore
[24/09/2015 9:15:48 AM] Matthew ~: foreign girls call me sexy
[24/09/2015 9:15:51 AM] Matthew ~: white girls give me becky
deletedabout 9 years
"Yo David I have like .6 of M that im tryna get rid off"
"yeah they say if you chew it mite help"
"Haha hell no. I'm way more Karlie than Kendall."
deletedabout 9 years
"i hooked u up with 2 chicks they're prob catfishes"
deletedabout 9 years
"when ur naked flashing guys, duhhh"
deletedabout 9 years
" Cake ! . "
"Someone in my class is doing the mimic octopus for their project do u know any good websites or books that would have good info"
"can you help us with the tv ? something weird happened to it - mom"
the batteries in the remote died and she couldnt figure that out
"Taco tuesday Taco tuesday Taco tuesday Taco tuesday Taco tuesday, and it's cinco de mayo so now we can say we're cultured"
deletedabout 9 years
'' On friday I back to my house with a bag of hot dog, how i find this baf? no idea''- Drunk brazilian em player.
these are some weird texts!
"Yeah bebe. You can just leave em on and dont' even have to change songs. Just spin and grin. How's the new casa?"
"dinner is ready, before you come up, turn the water boiler on and change the mouse traps. -mom"
"If you all have guests I am about to send tow truck out.... Have no more spaces. Have them move across the street."
"hope y'all had a great weekend, i hope this week is a super week miss ya . Love pops"
I don't have any friends to text, so :(
"hope the exam went good. love pops"
