Taking what said to me to heart when I was a kid, and not telling an adult. I believed I was everything they said I was, and I never fought back. I got punched, kicked, thrown down a hill and had my arm broken, stabbed with pencils, had stuff thrown at me, etc. Got called fat, stupid, ugly, gay, , girl, gross, pathetic, loser, , queer, etc.
I thought I was some kind of monster. I looked in the mirror when I was in Elementary school and Junior High and thought I was a huge disgusting beast that must have weighed 500 pounds. But in reality I was actually normal sized, and I was a cute kid. I hated myself and because I didn't want anyone to find out I really WAS gay I kept my torment to myself and passed it off as general bullying.
If I had the courage to come out then and tell my parents what I was going through, my life would have certainly been completely different. I'd probably be a completely different person. But the past is the past, and things were different in the 90s. Kids today have no idea how hard it was 20 years ago. There weren't any gay/straight alliances back then. If you told anyone you were gay, you risked getting put into ex-gay therapy or being completely disowned by your family. There weren't any gay people on TV (until Ellen, and she got tons of death threats and her show got cancelled). Nobody even talked about homosexuality unless it was some controversy on the news (and gay people were shown as freaks and sexual deviants - yes, literally), and even then - kids were shielded from it and nobody dared talk about "the gays" around them. So I forgive young Mikey for not having that courage. I got dealt a really hand in a really decade. So while I regret not standing up for myself, I also realize the reality of the situation and that I have to learn to stop holding onto that regret.
Sadly we live in a world were people fail to understand that we're connected and that we're all in this journey together, but that's just me, fantasizing about how things should be.
Another question for you Mikey: What's your biggest regret in life?
6) Why do you feel the need to tell everyone that you're gay, including the pink text and your profile? I've gotten quite a bit of oppression and discrimination here for being gay. Not to mention, I went through some pretty horrific bullying as a kid up until I was in my last year of high school. I find power in being openly gay now and being proud of that. I like pushing homophobes' buttons and making them uncomfortable. Straight people who are comfortable with their sexuality don't care about anything I say or about the gifs or avatars I use. It's the people who have repressed feelings and insecurities who lash out at me or complain to the mods like I've assaulted them by existing. Being silent and catering to bigots only hurts the gay rights movement. There are people here who have actually apologized to me later on, and said they thought about what they said and regretted it. Being out and proud also makes it easier for other people to be themselves and not feel alone. As for my text, it's not pink because I'm gay. It's pink because I like the color pink. My hair is pink in real life (has been for years). Pink is just a color. Colors don't have a gender. If you look at the color pink and don't think it's awesome, then that's just your opinion.
Nobody answered in a day so I gave up on checking. But I'll answer now:
1) Why am I running an AMA? Because I want you guys to know more about me. I'm a transparent person (and for a long time my avatar was my actual face).
2) What fuels your pro-tier mafia play? Sarcastic question is sarcastic, but I can say that my alt has a very good winrate and nobody knows that it's me. That means that my winrate as MikeyRu is related to my persona and that people n1 me and scumread me based on their own personal bias against me, so it's harder for me as MikeyRu.
3) Best brand of water-based lube? My favorite is Swiss Navy.
4) Can you name 3 people you like and respect from this website? Yup. betmen, DorothyZbornak, and shlapdatbass.
5) Am I gay? If you have to ask that question, you at least aren't straight, so that should narrow it down for you.
