"And that is why I think Shacky is innocent," I said as I laid down my stack of papers on my desk. Well, I didn't really do that, but I did the internet equivalent of it, whatever that may be.

"He cheated with lolwot," they'd say. These fools... They merely wanted to stir drama for their own enjoyment. Little did they know how it could destroy the lives, or at least the e-lives, of those who were at the receiving end of their blade, made of mean words on a forum. They wanted to believe any rumor they could, destroy whoever they didn't like with whatever fictitious info they insisted was reality.

When his name was cleared, I felt good. The plan was going well. I had won a bronze trophy, become an integral part of the community for my vast knowledge in setups and alternative thinking methods. A thought leader? Yes, I think such an esteemed title was worthy of me.

I was the leader of a family of who my minions. Young, aspiring competitive mafia players with thoughts. They broke the mold. They were like me, but naive. Verdant, moldable, and certainly did not know my true self. They did not know the lols within.

But enough about that. The forums suspected nothing. My first major milestone was in striking distance: moderation.

"I guess there isn't much choice, the people really like him."

"I don't have a good feeling about this, there's something off."

"You know he will take it really seriously, when in reality there isn't anything special about it."

"The past few hires have been duds, we need someone that might actually be decent instead of just modding our friends or underage girls."

"Yeah I guess. Frick it, let's mod Arcbell."

And so it began.

There were parades in the street. The peoples' choice, me, Arcbell... Yes, it felt so nice. To be wanted, on the internet. Slowly the changes would be made.

I worked tirelessly creating bin after bin after bin, proving and disproving cheating cases. But there was one who eluded me. He would cheat in such a way that it was impossible to detect. I even said it was the most ethical run I had ever seen, and quite frankly I loved getting into the numbers on this, and his were so even across the board - it couldn't have been cheating in the normal paradigm.

When I found out he cheated, I was crushed. But I wanted to learn more.

He was one of my mentees, a member of my family. Someone who I had trusted. He was excommunicated, ousted, burned at the stake. But like a starfish, he regenerated, and did it again, and again and again. It was truly masterful how he bobbed and weaved like a boxer, cheating for trophies and fixing rounds so that people he liked would win. He even did it to impress girls. This impressed me even, and heck, I'm a dude!

Despite his skill, he could never moderate the site. He was too dishonest, too sneaky, but his skill was beyond compare, and his passion for the site rivaled my own. Because he had cheated he was no longer eligible to moderate? This was put in place by the bureaucratic mods of yore who wanted to keep power centralized for themselves... They treated past cheaters like 2nd class citizens.

I wanted to use them... But it would take time to build the community's trust.

He was like me in a lot of ways. We understood each other on a level I failed to be on with many. He too had another identity. While he did not know my true form, I knew his.

lol

But anyway, let's keep moving...

There was one thing I had to do to fully cement myself as a member of the community - a romantic interest, otherwise known as the elusive "ebabe". I needed one. And I had just the muse.

The way she typed on skype, her multi-line responses to my quips and qualms and other words beginning with q. Her purple in-game font and flowery verbosity in her speech patterns in game when she rolled mafia. she was the one, for me. Or at least the one for this character I had made. I almost made my name Nathan, but decided on Robert. Yes, Robert was a good boy's name.

I tried to convince my true self that i was meant to be a loner, that love would be a weakness, but her profile background and song were alluring... I couldn't keep away. She too had been a mod once, twice, mayhaps three times. But she was more than just a mod. She was the one.

"oh robert," she'd giggle, online. Or rather, at least I thought she giggled. Yes, let's say she giggled, on the internet. Easy enough to make that distinction.

We became close, and closer, and closer still. We went from being two strangers in a skype chat with mutual e-friends to chatting in a private skype on the reg, to even voice and video calling while fully clothed. I knew nudity was soon, but I didn't want to stray from my real goals. This was all part of my facade. I still had a mission.

"are you sure you don't want to spend the night?" she'd ask me at 3 AM my time, 2 AM her time. I'm not really sure what that entailed considering we were both fully clothed in our own homes in different countries, but it made me feel dizzy with excitement. the kind of dizziness you only get from a cute girl on the internet, if you know what that feels like i mean. Soon I would make all of my enemies dazed, but not in this kind of fashion. No, it'd be inappropriate for me to do such a thing. But to ruin their e-reputations and take power for myself? Yes, this was totally reasonable and something all normal people like to do.

Phase 1 had been accomplished with smashing success. I was modded, I was in love, and I was in a position to make serious waves. All of my experiences had given me ideas on how to proceed further. I had sewn the seeds, and soon it would be time to harvest.

Patience would be key, but I knew something was about to happen that wouldn't take too long to bring to fruition. Yes, if my LYLO/MYLO hammer rate of 63.6% taught me anything, it's that I was right 63.6% of the time, and I think this was one of those times.