Back to Community

bad advice column

quasimodo
about 5 years

hello i need some questions to answer in my bad advice column on this websites world famous weekly news update. very important that i do well because i cannot blow this. i need this job to survive. i need to feed my 11 children, 2 wives, 3 cats and 5 dogs.

please privately message your questions to me, to keep it anonymous. you can make your own pseudonym or ill make one for you, its up to you. the world is your oyster.

sincerely, quasimodo.

quasimodo
about 5 years

coolkidrox123 says

I cant read, can you give me advice on how to read better?


Step one is you need to have functioning eyes or finger tips. Ears if you count audio books as reading. Good luck!
quasimodo
about 5 years

torikate says

Recommend a movie?


Mac and Me. Good luck!
quasimodo
about 5 years

shayneismyname says

How to relieve constipation?


Have you ever heard of green beans? Eat some and then drink maybe like 7 cups of coffee. Then after you've done this, enter the ocean. Release. Good luck!
quasimodo
about 5 years

artim says

should i go vegan


What level of vegan would you attempt? Try being a level 2.5 vegan for a couple days and see how it works out. If you commit to full level 17 veganism and fail even one time, if even one speck of human-related products touches your being, you're thrown in jail and tried for murder. It's a big commitment. Try it out. Good luck!
quasimodo
about 5 years

rigby says

why do my thing go up.............

why me



Is it possible you are currently suffocating? Seek a doctor immediately. Ask the doctor if its cool. Good luck!
quasimodo
about 5 years

noshi says

how 2 fix sleep schedule it keeps reverting back to bad times no matter how hard i try it's like my default now


The best solution is to stay awake for 1 week straight. Do not sleep for 7 days. Be awake for 168 hours. See what happens next. Good luck!
quasimodo
about 5 years

hikineet says

i have a hard time cooking. everytime i try to boil water, i burn it and my stove explodes. what am i doing wrong???


Have you checked to make sure your refrigerator is running? Also next time you boil water, make sure there is water in the pot. I sometimes forget and have to buy a new house every time. Good luck!
quasimodo
about 5 years

PeePoop says

egg


I think the answer you are looking for is chicken or egg first? and the answer is both. Good luck!
quasimodo
about 5 years

coolkidrox123 says

Sir I struggle doing my uni work . can you give me advice on how to stop procrastinating?


The easiest solution is to drop out. Good luck!
quasimodo
about 5 years
I will answer the questions in this forum now, in this forum, because i am here in this forum, and answering questions.
quasimodo
about 5 years
Thank you for all your questions. You may continue to send them. Just be aware that I may not be able to answer them all at once. If you need immediate advice please contact Barack Obama on twitter.
coolkidrox123
about 5 years
I cant read, can you give me advice on how to read better?
quasimodo
about 5 years
no one here can even read its supposed to be anonymous now everyone will know your shame
torikate
about 5 years
Recommend a movie?
shayneismyname
about 5 years
How to relieve constipation?
artim
about 5 years
should i go vegan
coolkidrox123
about 5 years

rigby says

why do my thing go up.............

why me


FRY ME
rigby
about 5 years
why do my thing go up.............

why me
noshi
about 5 years
how 2 fix sleep schedule it keeps reverting back to bad times no matter how hard i try it's like my default now
hikineet
about 5 years
i have a hard time cooking. everytime i try to boil water, i burn it and my stove explodes. what am i doing wrong???
PeePoop
about 5 years
egg
quasimodo
about 5 years
its my first edition
coolkidrox123
about 5 years
*Second xd
quasimodo
about 5 years
Thank you for your submission. I look forward to answering your question in the first edition of the epicmafia weekly bulletin.
coolkidrox123
about 5 years
Sir I struggle doing my uni work . can you give me advice on how to stop procrastinating?