How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!

When chemists die, they barium.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.