Myths

ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS
1
Supreme Sluglord
married to 
 
28,612
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i'll be off for awhile, too busy with lame 'real life'


if you don't know the sheet story, here it is:

This past Summer, I was on a vacation with my family, taking a road trip to all of my friends' houses. Towards the middle of our trip, we took a side trip to visit one of my mom's friends.

I had to sleep on the hostess' kids' bed, they were away at camp for a week. That particular night was the supposed "Hottest Night Of The Summer." I believe it was about 105 Degrees Fahrenheit, and I had a hard time sleeping.

I remember waking up around 4 AM, and I thought I would watch a movie, that would put me to sleep. I chose to watch Into The Woods, as I really liked that movie. It has Anna Kendrick in it, and if you don't know, that's like my idol/celebcrush/future-marital-partner-even-though-there's-a-12-year-age-gap.

I fell asleep about 15 minutes into the movie, and if I remember correctly, I start dreaming about Anna. We're just on a date, she orders a glass of Chardonnay, I go for Merlot. I wanna show her I'm a classy guy. Suddenly, she's booty-naked on my bed, and we start making out and the works.

I feel a warmth in my pants subconsciously, and before you can even say "acapella," an explosion of liquid love oozes all over some random kids' sheets. They're totally drenched.

I wake up in sheer horror. It's about 6 AM, and I go and take a shower to clean myself up. By the time I get back, the sheets are semi-dry. Naturally, I do the logical thing and go on EpicMafia to ask the people of SandBox what I should do. Someone suggests I clean them up using Bleach. I go back up to the bathroom and look for what I think is Bleach.

It was Windex, a window cleaner.

The sheets turn a putrid shade of yellow-brown, and I just flip out. It was about this time when my brain completely turned off, so I just ball up the sheets, go down to the basement, and stuff them in the freezer with all of their meat and ice cream.

And for all I know, that's still where my cum-stained, window cleaner sheets are.


Quick Rundown:

  • Username: Myths
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: US
  • Hobbies: films, board games, ukulele
  • Been Active EM User: too long

Favorites

  • Color: Baby Blue
  • Video Game: Stanley Parable
  • Board Game: The Resistance or Tokaido
  • TV Show: House M.D. or The Office
  • Films: National Treasure, The Worlds End, The Visit

hit me up on steam @ Myths

i play BL2, Garry's Mod, Double Action Boogaloo and TF2 with the occasional Stanley Parable


http://imgur.com/c7htlcI

Stickers

Questions

almost 9 years
i can't invite you to be a sandboxer if you keep joining other families whenever i go to add you
eggs
deletedalmost 9 years
omfg red velvet cake sounds hella bomb right now
allahu snackbar
anonymousabout 9 years
Do you even Labyrinth?
You remind me of the babe!
anonymousabout 9 years
What babe?
The babe with the power!
anonymousabout 9 years
What power?
The power of voodoo!

Achievements

20 / 20Super Sleuth!
12 / 20He's Batman
12 / 25Explosion!
11 / 20I'm Miller, I Swear!
6 / 20Clint Eastwood

Created Setups

over 5 years
hi old pal!!
deletedover 8 years
Are you alive?
deletedover 8 years
hi pal i miss talking to u
deletedover 8 years
dude anna k is overrated as FUUUCKKK
deletedover 8 years
i know
almost 9 years
thats me laddy
almost 9 years
Hey u ever get my msg? Sry if u already found someone thou!
almost 9 years
I have passed the request to the other family members.
almost 9 years
my account is compromised smart one
almost 9 years
Tks for the chess tournament k+
almost 9 years
deletedalmost 9 years
erm i self deleted
almost 9 years
Wait you're not banned ok
almost 9 years
Suck.....................
deletedalmost 9 years
|-/ clique
deletedalmost 9 years
omg wow god bless you you rock!! <3 <3
almost 9 years
it's the future x
deletedabout 9 years
You're back!!##!!!!!
deletedabout 9 years
stop interacting w/ me
deletedabout 9 years
VERY GOOD PROFILE SONG