I've been lying.

I've lied to all of you for almost 2 years now. Those of you that I knew as friends, that I knew as the people I could trust.

But in the end, I couldn't even trust myself.

2 years ago, when I was 11, I made an account on EpicMafia. I thought it would be fun, that I could have a place to hang out and enjoy a game I liked at the time. It ended up destroying me.

I knew when I had signed up that you had to be 13. I didn't care. I wanted to be the best player the site had ever seen.

And then I found Survivor Lobby. I found a document that contained all these wonderful games. I found a thriving community in August of 2016, a community that accepted me and thought I was cool. I played in one of Goldd96's morning games, and placed pretty well, and people thought I wasn't new. It was everything I had been looking for. People thought I was good at Survivor and Big Brother. And I liked it. I liked the attention.

I made a new persona to boost my ego. I was a 16-year old kid living in Georgia with a girlfriend. I had everything I needed, and Survivor Lobby was just an afterthought. Using the persona, I made new friends. I won games. I made more friends. I was gifted tokens by Nattless, who didn't know yet what a fake I was.

Over time, though, things caught up with me. Lying on a daily basis doing something I loved really broke my heart. I made myself a more and more unlikeable person, just because I was Justin. I was the guy who didn't give a crap what you said or thought about me. I was Jabzz.

In the words of Voice, "I would rather die than be Jabzz."

I made myself more and more of a jerk. I craved attention, because that was the one thing I needed as a 12-year old. To get more attention, I made a post in March saying I would quit. Almost nobody gave me the attention I wanted.After almost 2 months of delaying it, I self-deleted.

But I couldn't stay away. Of course I couldn't. I was too addicted to this site and its ideals. I still thought I was the best, but this time I was going to remake a new account. I was going to forget the annoying, attention-craving jerk that was Jabzz.

I created Dared in July of 2017. I was 13. I was a new person this time, one that would be better than ever before. However, this new account still made me lie. This time, I was Red. I kept the knowledge I gained before on Jabzz, and kept denying that I was an alt. At one point, I altslipped and people began to suspect. Began to know that I was a fake. So I quit and hid from the truth. I didn't want to out and embarrass myself.

And then I came back. I saw how wonderful EpicMafia was again. I met more and more people. I wanted to stay here more, and I became addicted once again.

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I didn't want to hide any longer, I guess. Lying is tiresome, and I know someone was going to find out anyway. But when I saw yousef's post, and I saw the support that he got, I wasn't afraid of hiding anymore.

I'm facing the sad, wretched legacy that I left behind as Jabzz. The attention I wanted. Everything I've done to lie and wrong everyone. I'm so sorry to everyone who had to sit and believe my lies.

arisuu, Nicol, Nattless, 100GOD, cinnanie, xPooky, ImDory, karthikbk, JohnBatman, and all of April Fam.

I'm sorry.

I'm Justin, I'm 13, and I live in Georgia.

yousef, thank you so much for making me do this. you're awesome :)