So I held off making one of these for a long time because I figured no one really cared about my personal musings and stuff.
At this point though I'm on my last legs on this site. I'm stepping down from hosting EMBB after this season, I've long stopped playing and hosting actual EM games, so in a couple months I'll probably basically be hovering around on Skype occasionally for anyone who wants to talk to me and that's pretty much it.
So I wanted to make a thread just to give some opinions and advice on stuff that's important to me - hopefully it doesn't come across as me being condescending and a know it all as usual.
And yeah I'll do a game mode. Let me know if you want to be added.
The only thing I'll say is that I think people have to be careful with insinuations - if you think someone is insinuating something you should always try your best to get clarity and make a judgment from there.
Varner, and you can obviously take what he says with a grain of salt so this may or may not have been the truth, I believe is on record saying that he believed Zeke was fully out in his real life and was just hiding the fact as a game advantage. Even if that were true what he did was still repulsive, but for me personally that's easier to believe than someone who was a gay male and in the closet in his first season at least from the perspective of the audience who did not get any indication in that season that Varner was gay, would claim that being in the closet as a transgendered person makes you deceptive.
That said I do understand what you're saying and I definitely know that's a sore spot and I understand the initial anger and offense, I just think people need to tread lightly with insinuations, especially when they don't have the opportunity to clarify it for themselves.
deletedover 6 years
i agree with most of what you said though it's just that case specifically that i feel like i can understand why it would resonate for transgender people
deletedover 6 years
i kind of disagree with you here -- if it was a different part of his life that zeke hadn't mentioned i don't think jeff would've tried to use it as a way to frame zeke as being untrustworthy; it was BECAUSE he was transgender and that's where the issue lies to me. he insinuated that transgender people should have to tell people that they're transgender or they're liars (which is a deeply troubling perspective to have). and that's why it felt like an attack on transgender people as a whole; transgender people regularly have to deal with being accused of being liars or fake men/women, especially in the dating world, so it resonated with a lot of people when jeff associated being transgender and not telling people about it with being dishonest. i don't think i'm explaining this very well but the mindset of "you need to tell people you're trans or you're fooling them into thinking you're a REAL man/woman" is INCREDIBLY prevalent and incredibly harmful so i can see why it would be a soft spot for some people for jeff to act like him hiding that is a sin.
To clarify, I’m not talking about things like affirmative action or Black Lives Matter or anything like that. Affirmative Action was meant to try to correct the class differences and open opportunities that wouldn’t otherwise be there for African Americans and other nationalities in the future, it wasn’t just about making reparations for the past. And Black Lives Matter is also about the future, these are men and woman who are scared of police officers and don’t trust that they won’t suffer the same fate, so they are trying to change the mentality and protect themselves.
To use a personal example, I am a gay male. And that aspect of my life has not been easy. But I also don’t exist in the 1940s when people would get arrested for homosexual acts. And me trying to claim sympathy for things that happened to gay people 10, 20, 30, 50 years ago – that’s not fair. Because they didn’t happen to ME. I’ve never suffered anything because of the treatment of gay males in the 50s. So let’s not act like I should get some sort of ancillary benefits just because I happen to share qualities with a group of people who were horribly mistreated in the past.
Please let me know where you disagree with me, I do want to work out all or any misunderstandings with what I’m saying.
Okay guys I want to talk about something a little more controversial - present day application of historical oppression.
I don't like it when people are like "I deserve this and this benefit because this group of people that shared the same qualities as me were oppressed X many years ago." Or more generally, associating yourself as sharing the persecution that another person experienced because they share some same quality as you.
For an example, in Survivor Season 34 a transgender person was publically outed, and there was an outcry from much of the transgender community stated they had been attacked personally. And yes everyone should stand behind someone who had went through something horrible and taking offense on their behalf is well and good, but that's different than sharing the persecution that another person suffered. And yes there were further circumstances there, as Jeff Varner had tried to use Zeke's closeted transgender nature to show that he wasn't trustworthy because he was hiding something from his tribe, which is gross. But to say by accusing Zeke of being untrustworthy is accusing all transgendered people of being untrustworthy is a stretch. I don’t like it when other people try to make themselves the victims of something suffered by someone else. It minimizes the experiences of that person or group of people, by putting yourself on the level of those people despite never suffering anything like what they did.
(1/2)
deletedover 6 years
2 days late but don’t feel bad bud. I got 9th in a really bad ORG hosted by some really good people. Feels bad man but that doesn’t mean you’re average! You’re awesome Scott, don’t forget it!!! Hope all is well <3
hey Scott! I remember Zarfot's answer in EMBB too. I know this is a day late but I really agree with what you said about sexuality, but I do think that if people feel the need to put a label on themselves for the moment, they definitely should if that's what they want to do in the moment. I agree that the more important part is that people know it's okay to re-evaluate themselves and feel like just because they said they're X sexuality, doesn't mean in 6 months time they can't identify with X sexuality -- like you said! I actually called myself a lesbian when I was thirteen through sixteen and was pretty adamant about it being a sure-fire never changing thing, but since I was sixteen I've liked the term bisexual better for myself.
Mostly that part is what I think differs for me, in which maybe they're not saying they'll never feel sexual attraction, but right now they don't and it's the closest and/or most accurate word to describe their feelings?
I hope you're doing well and I'm glad you started a thread. ♥
If Embiid stays healthy, sure! I don't really believe in the Pistons very much and I wouldn't be surprised if Oladipo drops off a cliff and Indiana goes into the tank as well.
Buy! They do this every year to some extent (though this is obviously worse than most years) and this definitely has a bit of rock bottom feel to it that they're going to get up out of.
I'm not saying they're a lock to make the Finals but right now they're not even playing like a playoff team, they'll still be at least in the Eastern Conference Finals when it's all said and done.
(This is both my honest opinion and an honest attempt at a reverse jinx)
And this is where you ask – “well Scott, why does it matter whether I label myself at a young age or not?” Well, that brings me back to the other part of what Zarfot says, that he’s always open to new experiences. And that’s why it’s important, because by labelling yourself in a rush to make sure you have a label you can shut the door on experiences you may have otherwise. You could decide, “yes I’m a gay male” and then a year later a girl you’re really into comes into the picture but you don’t let anything happen with it, because you’ve already determined you’re gay and don’t want girls. You may decide “I’m a male to female transgender” but then realize that there is certain male aspects of yourself you really like but you let them go anyways because you want to fit with the label.
Give yourself time to develop, give yourself time to learn about yourself. The time between puberty and 16 years old isn’t very long, that isn’t a very big sample size to say “oh yeah this is definitely what I am” and sometimes you do know right away and that’s cool too if it’s really obvious to you, but as I said don’t just slap a label on yourself because it’s uncomfortable not having one. (And on a related note, I don’t want to hear 15 and 16 year olds saying “Oh, I’m asexual”. That may turn out to be the case, but sexuality can develop very slowly in some people so cool your jets on that. If you aren’t old enough to drive by yourself, you aren’t old enough to say you’ll never feel sexual attraction.)
Okay so the idea for this post stems from a Zarfot answer to his EMBB "personal question" task. Zarfot was asked by Tucker "Is it true you're bisexual?" Zarfot's answer was basically "I don't like labels very much but I'm always open to new experiences." Of course, me being the label stereotyping plebe that I am just thought, "okay he's bicurious" and moved on.
But I do think Zarfot hit on something important, especially for teenagers growing up and developing. As the world gets less and less heteronormative, there becomes this rush for 15 and 16 year olds to figure out what they are. Are they gay, are they bi? This can extend to gender identity as well, do they feel like they're a man or a woman?
The point of this post is really that there's no need to rush to slap a label on yourself, your sexuality, or your identity. Some people are sensitive about the fact that they aren't sure what they are, and it's so natural to want to find out things about yourself as quickly as possible - try to identify what career you're going to have or how many kids you want. And it's kind of terrifying not knowing what your future holds, will you date men or women, will you consider yourself male or female? But you don't need to force it. You don't NEED to declare yourself one thing or another, no matter how much pressure there is from either within yourself out of your need to know or from those around trying to get an answer out of you.
