Just arrived home from an interview. Nailed it. I was taller and better dressed than not only every other candidate but also the interviewer himself. Enough of that though. The real reason for this thread is to tell you about this promiscuous SHE-DEVIL that made some forward advances upon me as I waited.
Our affair started as I sat in office lounge awaiting my interview. She glanced up from her magazine to scan the room. Her head remained still as her eyes slowly panned the area before meeting my own, pausing only for a moment before continuing their sweep. That was enough.
Without skipping a beat, she asked me where I went to school. I obliged her thinly veiled request for conversation and replied.
She smiled. I smiled. We smiled.
With her demeanor getting more and more relaxed she pried more, questioning my preferred liquor among other tastes. She jokingly commented that I must bed all the ladies at parties. Kind of weird.
She laughed. I laughed. We laughed.
Her phone rang. She motioned for me to head into the interview room. As I walked past her she grabbed my as's. Not just a light touch or feel, full crab-claw grip. I was immobilized. I looked her up and down, noticing how her Black-Label pant suit had no wrinkles or creases on it. She released her grip as my gaze reached hers. Her other hand dropping a business card into my chest pocket.
She smiled. I was stunned. We parted.
I knocked the interview out of the park and ducked out of the office through the back fire escape to avoid any further confrontation.
To celebrate I sat in my kitchen air boxing while listening to the Pandora Top Thumb Hundred 2017 playlist. I punched the air to the beat and took giant swigs of Jim Beam mixed with whole milk between each song. F'ucking disgusting.
It was right before the bass drop of Post Malone’s hit song Rockstar that I remembered the business card that was hidden away in my pocket. I pulled it out and read the thin yet distinctly feminine handwriting of what was obviously her phone number.
I haven’t been laid in about 6 years so I’m hoping to not mess this thing up. Normally I’d just lay in bed and fantasize about wrapping some stockings around her throat and choking her out, but I think that this time I’ve got a real chance of getting someplace. I’d also like to add that if it comes down to choosing between some as's or the job I’d take the as's any day. I’ve got other offers.
Anyway, what should my plan of action be here?
