ok i think i'm gonna fulfill my new years resolution and leave this website OFFICIALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cya losers =)
ok i'm kinda busy with real life so sorry for the inactivity sdjaiofqew but to those who care don't worry i'm having tons of fun (i'm spending too much though.)
i'm too lost in life .. i don't have any interests or in-depth ambitious .. idealism is such a ridiculous trait of mine that i need to drop. the future is filled with haze, i don't have a clear and radiant path ahead of me. somebody help .. i feel so ridiculously empty today.
today was a very happy day 4 me, but it ended off really sad =(. i cant believe jonghyun committed suicide .. depression really is a scary thing huh. =((
i'm so shook i got top 3 for my entire cohort SDJFIOWE like what the shttttt my calc was good I CAN"T BELIEVE IT SDFJOIWEJFIEOW but i'm super sad because i'm probably leaving my friends behind to pursue a higher education and it sucks =( sadfoiwqejfqowe it's making me super sad .. like i love my classmates they're irreplaceable and are so dear to my heart i can't bare to leave them ..
asdjoiqwfwe funny story i used to wear them for school like for 2 years straight but they tore so fast because my dumbass realized those shoes aren't meant for cardiovascular activities and i had to constantly buy them.
erm i think they're ok?? they look vintage somewhat
I'm not a conformist on the idea that there's no god or any other spiritual being, but I'm not going to let that affect how I live my life. When I was young the thought of death and afterlife really scared the heck out of me, I mean my last anxiety attack about it was about a year back exactly and it terrified the heck out of me. I realized instead of seeking for the truth, I sought after answers that satisfied or made me feel comfortable, which caused my disillusionment towards the subject of death as I realized I could never be accepted with the truth. I used to be a Christian BOY, can you BELIEVE THAT? But I was disgusted with the fakeness and delusion that Christianity bought, and I realized I wasn't contented with that reality because I knew it didn't fit with my style of living. A huge trigger event for my shift away from Christianity was my Grandmother's death, which made me realize that praying was really literally useless. Anyways, now I'm feeling better regarding the subject of death and how I live!! Thanks to my mom. Something unexpected came out of talking to my uneducated mother about the subject of death and religion, and she came up with the best answer ever. She said: “你管这么多有什么用？你死的时候就死啦。“
Which translates to "Why do you care so much? When you die you just die.". Which is the happiest answer I can ever accept. What's the point of caring so much about death, something inevitable when I could enjoy life?
