What is your opinion on revenge? I feel very vengeful towards a woman and I don't even believe she really wronged me. Essentially, I liked her a lot. Honestly the first woman I "loved". She didn't love me back though apparently. She friend zoned me and then ghosted me. That happened about 3 years ago. I still think about that day and it replays in my mind over and over and over. Before I go to bed I think about it, I wake up and I am thinking about it.

I think we is deeply bothering me is that I couldn't see any reason why she did what she did. If I had an answer maybe I could forget about her.

I hate to admit this but I hate and "love" her at the same time. I have not felt the same way about any other woman since. Basically, if I saw her get hit by a 16 wheeler truck, I wouldn't be mad. In fact, I wouldn't lift a finger to help her. On the other hand, if she were to text me right now and say "Hey lets go out?", I wouldn't think twice and I would go out.

I don't know why I can't forget her. Why is it that we as humans have so little control over our my mind? It is MY MIND. Yet I feel like I am at the mercy of some other being.

Is revenge even what is needed? What would free me? Would she even be worth my fury? I feel like I spend so much time thinking about the ordeal that I can't live. It kind of absorbs my my thoughts. Why do our minds do this to us? Just reliving ordeals over and over again.