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LastProphets Qualm

about 7 years

I'v spent my entire life trying to master the arts of practical philosophy, such as trying to solve the great old question of if other people like yourself exist, how would you find them? For most people, it's fairly simple because the needs they have is simple, but, I'v never found anybody like myself. People like me aren't born, they are made, but, in a way so special that I'v never found a single person like me in my entire life no matter what I try to do. Today, I will write about what made me different.

My father always cared about money, but, I tried to tell him that it wasn't about the money, but, what you could use it for. He never understood me nor will he ever, but, you will, as I'v never had the words to express this.

When I was about seven or eight years old, I remember my mother would make me lunch and put it in a lunch box in the morning. It was normally more than what I needed. One time, a boy who had a poor family and hadn't eaten in a whole day, came to me and asked me to share my lunch. I wasn't a nice boy. I honestly didn't want to tell him yes nor did I feel any sense of moral obligation. Something inside of me, made me say yes merely because of the fact that I could. Before that moment, I'v always said no to everybody for everything and always fought other kids. Something happened the moment I gave the boy food to eat. He was extremely exited that he had food, but, in his excitement, he did something to me. I had a feeling I'v never felt before. I felt good because somebody else was happy with me. I felt loved. You might think that this is what made me who I am, but, that is where you are wrong.

I got older and knew that I liked when people were happy with me and loved me. It didn't make me a generous person too much, as most people didn't appreciate what I had done for them. I wasn't stupid; I knew this was because they didn't realize that I helped them. They were in a passive state of mind toward me. I learned how to deal with this. I would wait until people were completely broken and hopeless before helping them, as the last moments of their needs is when I helped them and made it personal. This was the moment I felt fulfilled. I felt happy because someone loved me, even if it wasn't sexual. What a mistake I had made, as I was addicted to people loving me and appreciating me. I knew waiting till the last moment to help them would always give me the most of what I wanted, more so than money or sexual pleasure ever could. Nobody knows this feeling except me.

Make no mistake; What I was doing was wrong. Even if they loved me, what I didn't realize is that I loved them as well. I loved them and didn't want to lose them, as they made me feel complete. There is no woman I'v ever met that I could say I would rather have over this feeling. I didn't realize what I had until one day, I waited too long. I waited till the last second of failed to help someone I loved no matter how hard I tried. This was the worst feeling anybody could ever have; Losing someone you loved without realizing you loved them until it was too late.

You may ask yourself how I could love someone merely because they appreciated me, but you see, they became my friend for the things I did for them and I made them happy. This wasn't sex. This was something different. See, most people wouldn't have appreciated what I did for them because they don't understand the help I give them until the last second of their troubles. Most people, like I said, wouldn't understand, nor would they be able to pull off what I did, but, unlike other people who seek sexual pleasures, I seek pleasure that they have never known. How do I continue helping people at the last minute if I can lose them? How do I continue helping people before the last minute if they won't like me for it?

Now ask yourself something. Would you rather risk losing someone you know you would love in order to have the love they have to give you or would you rather help them and know they will never love you as you desire, but, you still need their love? This is not a drug that you can see, but, a drug you take when you get a reward from good deeds. Because nobody sees the drug, nobody takes it, but, it's there. You may try it, but, it has no effect unless you take it at the last moment you could possibly take it.

about 7 years
Or three, you're not really bothering to put real effort to find those people. No such thing as a rare trait, what is rare about someone trying to find someone like themselves lmao, it's all I hear people talk about half the time. And are you mentally challenged to think you will find someone like you via searching online with search engines? You can't know the depth of people's personalities online u pleb.

and stop using I'v, it grinds my gears.
about 7 years
[quote=lazershus][/quote]"Hey, listen" - Navi from Zelda

The idea is that I didn't try to find other people like me by merely going around and socializing. You have to understand that people who are like me will essentially be trying to find people like themselves as well, but, this is only one trait. There are other traits. So the idea is that I acknowledge that I won't find anybody perfectly like myself so that we can wing man each other with the ladies and hold balloons at the carnival together. The idea is that there is seven billion people in the world and at least three hundred thousand of them live in the United States. This means that if I look for any two traits about other people, I should find a hand full rather easily so long as I make it easy for people like myself, to find myself. Do you see what I'm trying to say here?

What I'v discovered is that some traits are very rare no matter how subtle it is. Why do you think I post here? Lucid is the only person I'v seen who host a game like this and is smart enough to data mine and display for data analysis. Lucid also makes people staff if they talk crap the most. Do you think this is an accident? The issue isn't that I'm looking for Lucid or some garbage like that, but, that these traits Lucid has, though rare, are more common than what it is I'm looking for. It shouldn't be much to find one other person, but, it is.

Ask yourself something. If I'm looking for someone like myself and expect only two traits, one being that they are looking for someone like themselves and two being something extremely simple yet personal, and you can't find them with all the search engines, trend analysis, and data you could mine, in the world, you would have to believe that there is something different about yourself. Either one, everybody like myself is incapable of using a computer, or two, I'm Rudolf the red nosed reindeer.
about 7 years
lol whos lastprophet
about 7 years
I DON'T LIKE LAST PROPHETS THE SINGER CONSPIRED TO DO IT WITH A BABY N THAT'S PRETTY FUKT UP IF U ASK ME MY OPINNION
about 7 years
when they wont allow me to call u a d1ckhead :(
about 7 years
first of all, glad u acknowledge ur a . second of all i'm assuming this isn't a typo cos u did it every single time, I've not I'v, idk if ur a native english speaker or not. third of all enneagram type 2 af but the trash kind. lastly ur asking urself the wrong question, u should be asking if u even love these people if that only depends on them loving u. and i would rather help someone who wont reciprocate cos i like myself enough, i dont need someone else to do that for me. and there are other people who love me already when they have no reason to, i'm not that desperate for love to do underhanded things to get it. and i wanna let u know a lil philosophy of my own, no one is super special or unique. there's tonnes of people out there just like u, dont fool yourself into thinking that with all the billions of people in the world you're the only one who thinks the way u do. you might be a one of a kind combination of things but everything you've gone through and do i can bet other people have too, did u think you'd magically meet someone just like you when you probably wont meet even 0.001% of people on this planet in ur entire lifetime.
about 7 years
"Nobody knows this feeling except me"

Your experience is yours alone and no one but you could understand how you felt, but there are other people in this world who had similar experiences.

As for what you said, people should help each other out of pure love, without expecting anything in return. It's hard to live by this, i sometimes find myself wanting at least their gratitude or to see that i managed to make a change, but in the end i realize if that is the true motive why i helped in the first place i should not feel happy about it. Even if what i did helped someone, it was also for my ego who needed to be fed. So i strive to distance myself from my own desires and when i decide to help someone out of love, i do it for their benefit and forget about anything else. After all true love is described as being:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. "
deletedabout 7 years
My new copypasta
deletedabout 7 years
gay