if you know that what you are consuming is poison, and you accept that you are ingesting poison, you have made the conscious decision to sabotage yourself. in fact, your mentality has become poisonous to your body at this point, locking yourself into a vicious struggle to diverge from one's own self. the self becoming poison, and in poisoning once more, a means of both indulging and destroying the self.
If you actually want to quit then you should be able to get angry enough at yourself to not ask EM for support and just do it silently while wanting to punch everyone in the face
idk how smokers stand themselves. that sh!t smells awful man, and it's all over your mouth and inside your throat. fkn disgusting when you think about it
