I am glad that you got a little bit of clarity with your situations, Sonse. I wish you the best in working through/treating it in whatever way you decide is best.
deletedover 7 years
Another thing that has really helped me lately is that I invited this girl over who was close friends with the person I grieve for.
She talked about her for 4 hours straight into the early hours of the morning with me, and it was such a huge relief to hear things like "You're a good person" and "She wouldn't have lasted that long without you" from someone who was actually close to her, whether they were the truth or not.
deletedover 7 years
I got into a psychiatrist and confirmed that my problem is complicated grief disorder, I am getting some strong drugs for sleeping.
This disorder is newly proposed in the field of psychiatry but likely to be approved as an official clinical disorder within a few years due to the abundance of empirical evidence and studies of the debilitation caused by complex grief.
People with this disorder find it nearly impossible to derive pleasure from anything that does not relate in some way to the deceased.
They also move through the seven steps of grief in a cycle, as opposed to linearly.
This whole recent relationship was about trying to recreate that dead girl in my life, which is why it has been so difficult to move past it. It had little to nothing to do with the actual girl I was seeing, and infinitely more to do with similar facial features and the fact that she slit her wrists.
Which is a god damned tragedy and I hate it about myself, but I can't help it. The details of the suicide make it a life-defining thing for me.
So that is what the f.uck has been so wrong and personality changing with me if anyone was curious
But I appreciate that I am alive with an apartment and a job and a capable brain when it isn't eating itself and the potential to feel love again one day way down the road with psychiatric help
john mccain was one of the biggest supporter of the iraq war, he was one of the war's biggest advocates again not only that he supports us intervention on Iran, for no reason valid reason, he just wants the oil and strategic placement again he murdered civillians in vietnam again he wants to take away ppls healthcare plus he is legit a corrupt politician
on a side note, doesnt matter if iraq had weapons or not, thats not a reason to invade a country, do you think everything that happened post iraq war wouldnt have happened had saddam had the weapons? cause im sure of it
he might be an american one, but in my standarts killing innocent vietnamese, then supporting a senseless war that cause the deah of over hundreds of thousands if you count its aftermath AND THEN supporting another war, that no one has a desire for, and that has no reason (an invasion of Iran), AND THEN wanting to take healthcare off people. Well that person deserves every suffering that comes their way
i've felt really awful since saturday morning but going into my job today i remembered that i'm useful and if nothing else i should live for me and my happiness
